Sleepwalking
by Blehlove
Summary: Aneliya Angelov has a knack for helping people to heal, a former SHIELD operative turned therapist she finds herself completely consumed by her new patient. Bucky Barnes can't help but be drawn to the beautiful foul mouthed woman trying to pick apart his brain. What could possibly go wrong while living in the Avengers compound?
1. The Fragile, The Broken

'Because we all walk alone on an empty staircase  
Idle in the halls and nameless faces  
I am powerless

Everybody wants to go to heaven  
But nobody wants to die  
I can fear death no longer  
I've died a thousand times" Hospital for Souls by Bring Me The Horizon

Chapter 1

"You ok there Steve?" He looks startled, he really must have been spaced out. He meets my eyes with a weak smile on his face.

"Yes. I'm sorry Aneliya.I just have a lot on my mind." I shake my head at the blonde man in front me. He was always apologizing. He had a vulnerability about him, an insecurity that I'm sure most people would never expect from Captain America.

"You apologize too damn much ya know? You're allowed to think, you're allowed to be upset." He smiles weakly again. "So, want to tell me what's worrying that pretty little head of yours Rogers?" A scoff is his response.

Our eyes meet again, he still has such a hard time opening up. I wait patiently knowing that eventually he'll let me in. With a sigh he finally concedes. "T'challa contacted me last night. He's ready to come back…Bucky. They found a way to get rid of his Hydra programming."

I had never met James Barnes. I knew his story, both from history and from my coworkers. I was a former SHIELD operative. I was well trained in combat, mostly martial arts and blades. My most useful weapon though was my mind. I had always been interested in psychology, far before SHIELD recruited me. I had an unconventional childhood, it made me want to find peoples motives for their actions. I was a damn good spy, I could get information out of most anyone. I wasn't as skilled as Natasha, my gifts were different than hers, she was far deadlier. When we found out that HYDRA were really the ones in charge, well let's just say I asked to be taken off active duty. I sought out my former SHIELD comrades, primarily Natasha and Clint. I realized then that I could still do some good even if I wasn't out kicking ass. These people needed help, they needed someone to talk to. That psychology degree finally came in handy. I was the unofficial therapist to The Avengers, not that they really called themselves that anymore. The group was still a little broken, still had their differences, but at the end of the day they needed each other and the world sure as hell needed them despite what the government wanted.

So back to Sergeant Barnes. Like I said I had never met him, but my god was I intrigued by his story. He stood at the center of many people's lives here. To Steve he was a friend, a brother, all he had of his former life. To Tony he was the root of all evil. The man who took his family from him. I knew that this was why Steve looked so conflicted, Things were barely fixed between Steve and Tony. What would Tony do if Steve brought him back? I knew one hundred percent that Steve would go wherever Bucky went.

I reach out and take my friends hand in mine and squeeze it gently. "You worry about getting him home and I'll try to get through to Tony." His shoulders seem to relax a bit, a crooked smile now graces his face.

"I don't know what we'd all do without you Liya." I roll my eyes playfully.

"You'd be even bigger basket cases than you already are that's for sure." Another smile at that. He hesitates before speaking again.

"I know they broke through the Hydra control but I don't know how stable he is mentally still. The things they did to him…that had to have left scars. Will you help him? Just talk to him like you do with the rest of us?" Even if Steve hadn't asked me I would have done it anyway. I always hoped one day Steve would get his friend back. Barnes story was horrific, the stuff of nightmares. He deserved some peace.

"Of course Stevie. He's a real dreamboat in those old photographs. It'll be great to seem him live and in color." I wink dramatically making the captain chuckle at my silliness.

We make small talk for a few more minutes before he leaves to make some arrangements with the king of Wakanda. I Try to prepare myself for the difficult discussion that lies ahead of me.

"Hey Friday, is Tony available?" The AI answers immediately.

"He's in his lab Miss Angelov, he isn't currently working on anything of great importance." I walk out of my office and into the elevator to head to Tony's lab.

I take a deep breath before going to face Stark. He's hunched over some blueprints drinking coffee and humming along to AC/DC.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company Dr. Feelgood?" I roll my eyes at the smirking man in front of me.

"I don't actually have a PHD yet Tony, you can stop with the doctor nicknames." His smirk just widens.

"You're looking hotter than usual in that pencil skirt sunshine, no wonder we all spill our guts to you." I narrow my eyes at his ridiculous comment. Tony tended to make inappropriate comments towards me when he knew things were about to get serious. I was dressed no differently than any other day I was working. A black pencil skirt and green silk blouse to bring out the emerald color of my eyes. My honey brown colored hair fell in waves to my mid back. No need for pantyhose with my naturally olive colored skin.

"We need to talk Stark. Time to put your big boy undies on now." His smirk fades away, eyes wandering somewhere far away from here. He groans loudly.

"You're here about Barne's." I raise a brow in surprise. "You really think Friday wouldn't inform me of any conversation involving that bastard?" Of course, he already knew, paranoid ass probably had every room in this place bugged.

"Not to be totally cliché here Tony but how exactly does that make you feel?" He laughs humorlessly before looking at me with a rare intensity.

"How the hell do you think I feel about it Annie?" He was the only one I allowed to call me that. Liya I could deal with, but Annie was just plain terrible. I take a moment before answering him.

"Pissed off that Steve would even consider bringing him here and scared that the Avengers will get ripped apart again?" He gives me a look that clearly means that he agrees with my assessment. "And I think deep down in that glowing blue reactor in your chest you feel guilty for the way everything went down between the three of you." His glare is meant to cut through me, a sneer almost painting his face now.

"You're too logical to let your emotions completely control you Tony. I can't even imagine how you feel knowing that James Barnes is the man that killed your parents, but you have to get that it wasn't his fault." I can tell he's on the verge of exploding, I don't really blame him. No matter what he still watched a video of Steve's best friend murdering his parents violently. Nothing would get rid of that image. "I know you're angry, but you know what Hydra is capable of, it wasn't his fault Tony. He's a broken man completely lost in time with little memory of his actual life which took place in world war two. I can't imagine what he's going through, the amount of pain and guilt that he's carrying with him now that he's starting to get the pieces of himself back. He needs help, he deserves help, he deserves a chance to live an actual life." Tony sighs loudly and runs his hands over his face.

"You have far too much faith in a man that you don't even know. How the hell were you ever a spy? Your naivety knows no bounds." I just stare blankly back at him. "If he even so much as looks at me in the wrong way I will chop his other arm off and shove it right up his fucked up brainwashed ass. You and Captain Righteousness better keep a short leash on your new pet project." I smile victoriously before jumping up and kissing a stubbled cheek.

"If it ends up being too much on you Tony you come to me. I will talk to you day or night, you know that?" He waves me off without another word. I know that this is going to be hard on Tony, I don't want him to feel as if we are all turning against him by bringing Bucky here.

I make my way back down to my office. I wish the Avengers compound was smaller, but we've got a lot going on in this place. I unlock my door completely unsurprised to find a figure seated in a chair across from my desk.

"You could just make an appointment like everyone else Nat, or at least wait until I'm in my office instead of breaking in. I really gotta talk to Tony about upping the security in here." The widow smiles tight lipped. She's my closest friend, like a sister. She took me und er her wing, trained me, opened up to me.

"How'd the talk with Stark go?" I shouldn't be surprised that Steve had already spoken to her, they'd become close. It made me so happy that she was finally letting people in.

"Better than expected actually. Obviously he isn't thrilled but he's allowing him to come here." She nods thoughtfully.

"I want you to be careful. Even if Barne's isn't the Winter Soldier anymore he's still damaged goods Aneliya. You tend to throw yourself head first into new assignments, you'll give all of yourself to save someone. Don't get lost and dragged down because of him." She sounds cold but I know its genuine concern that has her saying this. I just don't really agree with her words.

"Damaged goods, really Nat? He's hardly more fucked up than the rest of us." She sighs loudly.

"Barnes is unpredictable. There aren't many people that I can't hold my own against but he's strong, he's fast, he's calculating…he's probably got the worst case of PTSD ever. He's lost, broken, and has Steve Rogers backing him up." I really am not understanding her point here. She just described pretty much the entire Avengers team. Her eyes meet mine and she exhales loudly. "You've wanted to meet him since the moment Steve told you about him. You've spent countless hours studying the man, you've been waiting for this moment. It scares the shit out of me." I roll my eyes at my red headed friend before laughing.

"I'm going to be fine малък паяк . It's my job to help people. He's one of us, well he will be." She smiles when I speak Bulgarian. Russian and Bulgarian aren't too terribly different. We could both speak both languages but I myself am a Bulgarian American.

"Just promise me you'll be careful with him ok? He's beautiful and broken, that's a lethal mix for you Жнец." I glare at my overprotective friend.

"Yes mom I promise and don't call me reaper anymore. I'm a lover, not a fighter." She scoffs loudly.

"Keep the scythes handy woman, I'll feel better knowing they're nearby." My weapon of choice used to be two small scythes earning me the stupid nickname of the reaper.

We both leave my office after a few minutes and head to the floors that housed us all. Nat and I were on the same floor. I head to my own suite. I'm in desperate need of a good night's rest. My bedroom is all royal blue and gold. I change quickly into a pair of yoga pants and a black tank top. Luckily for once sleep takes me quickly. Unfortunately, a nightmare has me waking a little after three a.m. Nightmares plagued me less and less lately but still were an issue. I had my own demons because of my line of work.

I pull my hair up out of my face and decide to head to the upper level where we all shared a large living area and kitchen. I had my own small kitchen but preferred to go upstairs, more of a selection of tea and snacks. I exit the elevator surprised to hear low voices speaking and the lights on. I recognize one of the voices instantly.

"Steve?" I turn the corner expecting to see Steve and maybe Tony our resident insomniac. Instead I'm faced with Steve and the imposing form of one James Buchanan Barnes. He's dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a dark red t shirt that looks a tad too small. His hair reaches just slightly below his shoulder, facial hair a little thicker than stubble. Natasha wasn't kidding when she said he was beautiful. Steve looks surprised to see me but smiles warmly nonetheless. I see more life in his eyes than I have since I've known him, I'm assuming it has something to do with the man sitting to his left. I feel a little embarrassed to be looking so casual in my sleepwear, barefoot, lack of makeup, and messy ponytail.

"What are you doing up this late Liya?" Concern crosses his face; his friend is watching me closely probably trying to figure out exactly who I am and if I'm a threat.

"Nightmares, figured id come get a cup of the good tea and watch some shitty tv." He chuckles and looks to his friend who only stares back questioningly.

"Oh gosh I'm sorry. Buck this is Aneliya Angelov, I told you about her on the phone. Liya this is Bucky." Blue grey eyes dart to mine. I smile at the man in front of me, genuinely happy that he's here. He nods his head in acknowledgment.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm going to make a quick cup of tea. Mind if I join you two? I don't want to intrude." I keep eye contact with the wary looking man. Steve looks ready to answer for him before Bucky opens his mouth,

"I don't mind at all ma'am. That alright with you Steve?" Steve looks at me with a mixture of shock and amazement. I hide a smile behind my hand.

"Yea of course Buck. Go ahead and make your tea Liya." I do just that. My mind is racing, and heart is beating quickly in excitement. It already seems as if Bucky has made leaps and bounds in progress since the last time Steve saw him. Maybe I should make a trip to Wakanda myself. I head back to the two men with a tea mug in hand. I take a seat on the couch across from them.

Everyone sits silently for a few moments, Steve's eyes dart from myself to Bucky seeming to be at a loss for words. I let out a loud laugh startling the two men.

"I can't handle awkward silences, you should know this by now Stevie." This makes him smile. I even see Bucky's lips turn up at the corners a little. "How was the trip here Sergeant Barnes?" He seems surprised that I'm speaking to him again and a little put off.

"Just call me Bucky ma'am. I'm not a huge fan of flying so I just tried to sleep." Another shocked look from Steve. Maybe he only though Bucky would speak to him.

"I'll call you Bucky if you stop with that ma'am nonsense. I appreciate your politeness, but I'd prefer you call me by my name or Liya like most everyone does." A slight raise of his lips again.

"Alright, Aneliya then. You sure don't look like any shrink I've ever seen." He gives me a once over, obviously getting a look at the few visible tattoos he can see on me. Steve actually chokes on his drink. I laugh at his reaction to his friend's statement. I guess Bucky's old personality must be surfacing, I don't think Steve expected that.

"Well I'm much more put together in the day time when I'm working." He's staring at my left arm in interest.

"That a pirate on your arm there?" I turn to the left a little to give him a better look at my upper arm,

"Sure is. Badass pirate chick. Could have been me in a past life." This time he actually does smile. Steve is still stunned into silence.

"Never seen a dame with tattoos like that." He sounds impressed. I'm used to the old-fashioned lingo thanks to Steve. He's studying the large scythe on my upper right arm as well.

"Liya is something else that's for sure. She's amazing at her job Buck. I mean she's gotten Natasha and I to open up to her like it was the easiest thing in the world." Bucky tenses up at Steve's words. His expression darkens. I try to ease the tension.

"I'd love to talk to you Bucky, if you're up to it of course. I don't want you to feel pressured into it at all. We wouldn't have to talk about anything you don't want to. My day is completely open tomorrow." I keep my voice calm and upbeat. I keep eye contact with the soldier the whole time.

He just looks at me for a long moment, searching for something that I'm not quite sure of.

"Sometime after breakfast ok?" Steve relaxes noticeably. I can't help the huge smile that makes its way onto my face.

"How about elevenish? Should give you some time to get things done in the morning." He agrees on the time and I bid the guys goodnight.

I have a feeling that Bucky arriving is going to change everything for all of us…for me.


	2. Angel Eyes

"You have this power over me  
And there's no way to fight it  
I cant help but gravitate towards you,  
This is a force I can't defeat" Angel Eyes by New Years Day

Chapter 2

I rub the sleep from my eyes while I slowly make my way to the shower. Seven a.m. came entirely too quickly today. It doesn't take me long to shower and get myself ready for the day. My outfit today is a navy blue colored skirt and cream colored long sleeved blouse and pumps. I let my hair stay down in its natural waves.

I heat up a microwavable breakfast bowl because I really didn't feel like cooking this morning. I was nervous but excited for the day ahead. Today would be Bucky's first session with me. I almost spill my glass of milk when a loud voice intrudes on my quiet breakfast.

"Miss Angelov, Mr. Stark is at your door." I toss my bowl in the trash as I go to welcome Tony in.

He looks rough. Obviously hasn't slept or showered, his hair is messy, he's still wearing yesterday's clothes. I step aside and let him walk into my suite. He takes a beer from my fridge without asking and takes a seat at my small table in the kitchen.

"A little early to be drinking isn't it Tony?" I sit across from him. He flips me off and takes a sip from the glass bottle.

"I go to grab a coffee this morning and guess who's rifling through my god damn cupboards?" I don't answer knowing that he's about to go on a very animated rant. "That homicidal winter bitch that's who!" He takes another large drink. "I knew he was coming but I didn't expect him to be eating my fucking food and humming Bing Crosby! I figured id be able to ignore and avoid the man for a good few months at least. He's supposed to be an angst filled guilt ridden mute right now, like he was the last time I saw him." I just blink slowly at Tony for a few moments to make sure he's done.

"I know this is going to be a big adjustment, this is going to be hard. I'm glad you came to me." He seems to sense that I have more to say because he stays uncharacteristically quiet. "You had to know you couldn't completely avoid him for months Ton, you live in the same building, only a couple floors apart. Everyone uses the kitchen and living room on that floor. You don't have to be his friend right now Tony, you don't have to forgive him, but avoidance just isn't realistic in this situation. You're an arrogant pain in the ass but you're a good man. You're going to get through this, I'm going to get you through this." He puts his head in his hands and sighs.

"How the hell does a twenty eight year old sound so wise all the time?" I smile softly and ruffle his hair as I walk past him to make a pot of coffee.

"Clearly I'm just a badass Stark." He laughs and shakes his head; his voice turns serious again in a second though.

"Do you really think you can help Barne's Annie?" I take the now empty beer bottle from him and set a cup of coffee in front of him instead. I squeeze his shoulder.

"I really hope I can. He's much less quiet than I expected. If Steve believes in him the way he does than I have to believe in him too." I'm not sure if Tony really took in anything I said but he acknowledges me with a nod of his head. He stands and stretches.

"Thanks for the mini session sunshine, no need to bill me, I'll just deposit the money into your account." I roll my eyes and walk him to my door. "If you need anything at all…if something happens with Barnes do not hesitate to call me or ya know just chop his head off with one of those scythes of yours." He laughs while I push him out the door.

I head to my office to do some paperwork and update some files. Time gets away from me and before I know it my secretary is informing me that my eleven o'clock appointment has arrived. I take a deep breath before going to greet Bucky.

I almost trip over my own feet when I take in the man's appearance today. He's wearing a black Henley with the sleeves rolled up and a pair of dark washed jeans. His face is now clean shaven, and his long hair is tucked behind his ears. Dear god he was gorgeous! I stop my ridiculous train of thought and smile and gesture for him to follow me back to my office. I sit behind my desk and he takes a seat across from me.

I made sure my office was welcoming when I decorated it. Large plush chairs and beautiful paintings. I have an entire wall covered by bookshelves. My walls are a warm brown. I almost always have a diffuser going, today it smells like lilacs.

"You look like a completely different person today doll." I don't get flustered easily but something about the way his voice sounded saying doll had my cheeks warming. "Not to say you didn't look good last night, you did, you just clean up real nice." He stumbles over his words and I feel my blush deepen.

"Thanks Bucky, you do too." His smile damn near kills me. Maybe Nat was right to worry about me. How the hell did she know id be attracted to him so quickly? I clear my throat and try to focus on what I'm actually supposed to be doing here. "So how are you settling in so far?"

He sits back in his chair. "Uh, pretty good so far I guess. Steve's being a little overbearing, but I expected that. I ran into Stark this morning, he looked like he wanted to strangle me." His voice lowers at the end, laced with guilt.

"Hey, Don't get discouraged by Tony. He was willing to let you come here and that's huge. He's going to need some time to adjust but I really think it will all end up ok. And Steve is a mother hen in general, I'm sure he's worse with you because he cares about you so much." Bucky keeps eye contact the whole time. His body language is not that of a defeated man. I'm very pleasantly surprised by how well he seems.

"He's always been a punk. A real pain in the ass when he wants to be." I laugh at his comment.

"I hope I'm not being intrusive here, but Steve's told me that in the past you were having memory problems. Is that still an issue for you?" He looks a little uncomfortable that our conversation has become more serious, but he still answers.

"A lot has started coming back to me in these last few months but I'm still missing some big chunks of time. Sometimes I wake up from a nightmare and can't even remember my own name." He sounds lost now, eyes not holding my gaze for long.

"I hope that our sessions can help you regain some of things you've forgotten. Our brains are powerful things, we can block out painful memories to protect ourselves. And you were conditioned to forget anything personal, to be dehumanized. It may take some time to get you to a place where you feel safe and comfortable enough to regain all you've lost." He seems to be hanging onto my every word. He wants help, that's incredibly encouraging.

"You said last night that you had a nightmare…does that happen to you a lot too?" He needs some kind of connection, wants to know that I'm a real person and not just some overpaid asshole who doesn't care.

"Yes unfortunately. Its getting better though." I can tell he wants to ask more but that 1940's gentleman in him is holding him back. "I was a spy before SHIELD fell. Real deep ops kind of stuff, Natasha Romanov and I got paired up quite a bit. I've seen a lot of really bad shit. I've caused a lot of pain, I was naïve enough to believe I was doing it all for the right reasons, for the right people. Obviously, that wasn't the case at all. So now I'm trying to make amends as best I can. I have the ability to do good, that's all I want." Blue grey eyes soften considerably.

"You are doing good doll. Not many people would be willing to sit across from the winter soldier and try to help him. You've got a hell of a lot of faith in humanity if you think there's any hope for me." It saddens me that he doesn't seem to think that there is hope for him.

I move to sit next to him without really thinking. I reach forward and take his left hand in mine. He flinches and moves to yank his hand away. I hold tightly to his metal hand, its surprisingly warm.

"I've spent way too many hours reading about you and listening to Steve's stories about you to believe that you're a lost cause. You were an amazing man who got tortured by an army of psychopaths. What happened to you, what they did to you, what they made you do…it wasn't your fault. You might not ever be the man you were before all of this, but I absolutely believe that you will be no less remarkable than you were back then. You're going to do amazing with your life Bucky Barne's." I swear I see moisture gathering in his eyes, he swallows and runs his right hand through his long hair.

"You're doing real wonders for my ego here Ангел. Steve's right, you are something else." I don't let on that I understood that he called me angel in Russian. It finally registers that I still haven't let go of his metal hand. It's strangely beautiful, smooth plates of silver inlaid with lines of gold. This must have been a gift from the King of Wakanda since last I heard Tony had blasted off his arm. I wonder if its made of the highly sought after Vibranium the country was famous for. Bucky's gaze follows mine to our intertwined hands.

"Can you feel that?" I don't know why I'm speaking so quietly and still grasping his hand.

"It's different than my real arm but I can pick up on some pressure and the warmth, definitely more than I could with the old one." I pull my hand away from him gently. I've already crossed some kind of boundary with him and it hasn't even been twenty-four hours since we met. "So you did a little bit of studying up on me did ya?" He sounds pleased. Steve always said Bucky was a real charmer back in their time. I cant help but smile at his boyish grin.

"A bit more than a little. I was downright smitten with you and your story Sarge." It's his turn to blush this time. Something in his eyes seems to darken at the fact that I called him Sarge. One thing he'd learn about me is that I'm in no way shy.

"Gotta warn a guy before you go spoutin off pretty words like that doll." I giggle, actually giggle at the fact that his Brooklyn accent is coming through the more comfortable he becomes.

"I'll warn you next time, would hate to give the old man a heart attack after all." He chuckles for the first time in the small period I've known him.

"I don't know if I've ever met a dame quite like you." I'm trying to ignore the butterflies he's causing me to have. He's supposed to be my patient not someone to flirt with. When was the last time I felt this amount of attraction for a man?

"I'm sure you used to say that to all the women." I'm getting lost in his eyes, I'm crossing into dangerous territory here.

"I remember enough to know that I never once said that to any of them dancehall dames." Am I hearing things or is his voice suddenly raspier? He's going to cause my moral compass to completely change directions.

I stand suddenly and walk back to my place behind my desk. I needed to put some physical distance between us or I was going to make a complete ass of myself. "I think we should meet at least two or three times a week for now, I've got a good feeling that you're going to have very little trouble moving forward." He smiles widely, a sight that almost leaves me breathless. This man will be the death of me, I can already tell.

"Sounds good to me. You wanna grab some lunch with me and Steve?" I agree to his request more enthusiastically than I should.

I am royally fucked, that's all there is to it. Bucky Barnes is going to completely destroy my sense of right and wrong. He's just as lethal as Nat warned just in an entirely different kind of way.


	3. Waiting, Anticipating, and Pacing

Be a peach and leave a review pretty please!

"Blue jeans, white shirt  
Walked into the room you know you made my eyes burn  
It was like James Dean, for sure  
You're so fresh to death and sick as ca-cancer" Blue Jeans by Lana Del Rey

Chapter 3

We take the elevator down to the employee cafeteria. You really think Tony Stark wouldn't make this like a second Stark tower? I didn't even know what half the employees in this building did. I try very hard to keep my eyes trained ahead of me to not openly stare at the handsome man next to me, though I'm pretty sure I feel his eyes on me.

Making our way to the cafeteria has become an interesting ordeal. Most of the people passing us are doing double takes. I hear the whir of something electronic…maybe mechanical? This time I do look at my companion. I notice his Vibranium hand is clenched tightly in a fist. Oh, that was his arm making that sound. I wrap my hand around his fist causing him to unclench it. His eyes meet mine. We've come to a stop not far from the cafeteria.

"What's wrong Bucky?" He looks pained, gulps visibly before answering.

"All the people staring…I hate that all they see is a monster." What? I look over his shoulder and again notice a few people looking a little longer than necessary at him….they're women, women hiding giggles behind their hands. I can't help it, I double over in laughter. Bucky's expression is a mixture of hurt and confusion. I shake my head in amusement.

"You ridiculous man." A raise of an eyebrow is all the response I get from him. "They aren't staring at you because you're a big bad assassin. They're staring because…well…" Still he's completely silent and lost looking as I gesture with my arms up and down. He can't really be this clueless. The Bucky Barnes Steve had told me about was absolutely aware of what a charming attractive man he was. "Have you looked in the mirror lately Sarge? I mean the world war two pictures of you with that handsome smile on your face were bad enough but now you're all broody and have that hair and the muscles." He just blinks slowly, blank faced for a moment before the biggest shit eating grin tugs up that pouty mouth of his and I think I'm actually swooning.

"Is it the muscles that do it for ya doll?" That low purr of his should be illegal. This must be the Bucky of the forties shining through again. I answer without thinking, a bad habit of mine, a lack of filter.

"That and the metal arm I think." I'm taken aback by my own words, not that they were untrue. His eyes blow wide and dark, suddenly looking strangely stormy, far too intense.

"Hey Buck, Liya! C'mon lets get some lunch." The sound of Steve's cheerful voice breaks the spell of whatever the hell was just going on there. I walk past Bucky quickly, hear the low murmur of опасная женщина (dangerous woman) and try to push the blush from my face as I greet Steve.

We all grab some cold cuts and sit at an empty table, before long Natasha is slipping into the chair besides me.

"Вы посмотрите из него" (You look out of it) I glare at my friend. The men look instantly interested. Bucky of course speaks Russian and is about to find out I do as well, instead I answer her back in Bulgarian. It was just how conversations between us happened sometimes.

"Гледай си собствен бизнес Natalia."(Mind your own business) Not often did I use her true name. She laughs in that raspy way of hers. Steve looks confused, Bucky intrigued.

"You speak Bulgarian?" I nod my head at the man.

"Have you heard my name?" He smiles warmly, I refuse to turn into a puddle of goo.

"А ты говоришь по-русски?" (And you speak Russian) If its possible he sounds even better using a foreign language.

"Да. Большинство славянских языков" (yes, most of the Slavic languages.)

"So you better be careful what you say Barnes." I bump Nat's shoulder playfully at her quip.

Small talk breaks out among all of us. I'm grateful that Natasha seems to be giving Bucky a chance, she's talking to him just like he's anyone of us. It's not long before Nat's phone is ringing. She ends the call with an "understood." She stands as gracefully as ever.

"Have to come with me Barne's. Facilities doc wants to see you." Steve stiffens and stands when Bucky does. Bucky shoots an annoyed look Steve's way but he doesn't seem to notice.

"Hey Stevie there's something I gotta talk to you about." He's about to protest when Bucky reaches out and squeezes his shoulder.

"I'll be fine punk, stay here and talk with Aneliya." I can tell he's grateful for me intervening.

A small wave and him and Nat are on their way. I may or may not notice how nicely those jeans fit him as he walks away. I turn back around and meet the expectant blue eyes of the captain.

"What'd you need to talk about Liya?" He's anxious to run after his friend. I snort and shake my head.

"Stevie you're smothering the poor guy. He's not a little kid, you have to trust him to do things on his own." A loud groan and he's running a hand over his face.

"He thinks I'm being smothering?" I laugh at his apologetic tone. He's too good for this world.

"Sweetie, you just can't help it, it's in your nature." A scoff is the only response he gives me to my sugary sweet tone.

"I didn't expect this you know? He's so different than the last time I saw him. He's so close to the old Bucky…but not. He's more cynical and unsure of himself. He told me he barely sleeps, he can't stand himself. I'm scared that if I back off I'll lose him, that all of this is just a front to make us all feel better." My heart aches for Steve. He really loves Bucky, he's his family in every way that matters.

"I know you're scared Steve but I really believe that he's doing ok. He's not homicidal, he's not suicidal. He's going to struggle but all we can do is support him as best we can. We have to give him a chance to live his life. We can't treat him like a timebomb, he doesn't deserve that, whatever happened in Wakanda did wonders for him obviously. I just met him yesterday but he doesn't even seem remotely like the shell of a man you described to me six months ago. I'm going to help him, ok?" Steve Rogers had a hell of a smile when he was truly happy, he was a great friend.

"Thanks' Liya, you always know just what to say." I kick him under the table playfully.

"That's why Tony pays me the big bucks Stevie." We laugh together.

"So uh, what were you and Bucky talking about out in the hallway earlier? You guys were standing there for a while." My cheeks burn red instantly and Steve raises an eyebrow. "Are you blushing?" I don't blush damnit! What the hell was that man doing to me? I glare at the blonde. "Oh c'mon Liya you can talk to me too ya know?" He was right, he had always been a good friend and confidant. I also knew that my reaction was just driving him crazy with curiosity.

"You better keep this conversation to your damn self you got it Rogers?" He nods in affirmation. I sigh loudly trying to prepare myself for this conversation. "Nat was worried about me taking Bucky on as a patient…its like she knew…" Confusion marks his face, he's as clueless as his buddy.

"Knew what?" He apparently couldn't handle my silence.

"Knew that I would…that I'd be…that Bucky would…that I'd think he was…" I hate this, I really couldn't get the words out of my mouth. I didn't do stupid silly instant attraction bullshit. I hadn't gotten attached to a man in almost ten years. Nat said I was too picky. I thought I was too until James Barnes showed up here. Even while studying him there was a pull, something my red headed friend had apparently picked up on. Something seems to click in Steve's head because his eyes widen and he's flashing that apple pie smile of his.

" _Oh_. You like Bucky!" I shh him and kick him none too nicely this time. "That's great Liya! Perfect actually!" I kick him again. "Ow! What's so wrong with that?" I shoot him an are you stupid kind of look.

"I'm supposed to be his therapist! You're the one that was all worried about him five minutes ago, wondering if he's actually doing alright. I don't want to complicate his already complicated life Steve, I refuse to screw up his progress." He's still smiling, almost smugly.

"Maybe it'll help his progress. He deserves to live his life right? And lord knows you deserve happiness. I've never seen you interested in anyone before. This is seriously great Liya." My mouth drops open.

"What the fuck Steve!? You're supposed to be the voice of reason. Aren't you supposed to be more worried about your friend here? Relationships mess with people's emotions big time, it could completely stall his progress or cause him to snap, it could be too much for him." My voice is rising making Steve laugh.

"Or it could be exactly what he needs to feel normal again, to know that someone can still care about him that way." I'm well aware that I'm gaping at him like a damn carp opening and closing my mouth at a loss for words.

"Who even says he's interested in me in anyway? He doesn't know me." He rolls his eyes and continues to smile like a big jerk.

"He hasn't been able to keep his eyes off you anytime you've been in the room. The second you left last night he asked me a million questions about you." I'm fucking blushing again. My heart is racing. This was bad wasn't it? "Stop trying to talk yourself out of whatever you're feeling. This could be a really good thing for both of you. There's no other woman I'd ever approve of for my best friend Liya." Why does that bring tears to my eyes? It shouldn't warm my heart so much.

"It's just too fast. We barely know each other, this is silly." My voice is sounding weaker even to my own ears.

"Sometimes you just know. The first time I laid eyes on Sharon I knew she was special. I invited her over and barely knew her." I groan and lay my head on the table.

"What the hell do I do Stevie?" Wasn't I supposed to be the therapist here? I lightly bang my head against the table making my friend chuckle. I never lift my head up out of sheer embarrassment over this entire situation.

"Well I think maybe you should take the initiative here. He'll probably think he isn't good enough to even really try anything with you." I moan in protest again.

"I'm supposed to make a move on the one-hundred-year-old former assassin?" I'm on a roll with making cap laugh today.

"You've never been shy before, why start now? It's kind of nice to be the one giving advice for once." I lift my hand up just enough to flip him off.

"What kind of advice ya handin out punk?" It sit straight up at the sound of Bucky's voice. I must look like a deer in headlights because Steve is clutching his stomach he's laughing so hard.

"Fuck off Rogers." Bucky takes his seat back next to Steve. Where the hell is Nat when I need her?

"Natasha wanted me to tell ya she had to take an unexpected trip and she'd call you tonight." Did he read my damn mind? I force myself to stand up.

"Well as fun as this has been boys I have to get back to work. Believe it or not my expertise can be used on more than just ancient super soldiers." Is that disappointment I see in those stormy eyes of Sergeant Barnes.

"Why don't you come by for dinner tonight Liya? We can order from that Thai place you like and show Buck here the wonders of Netflix." I could punch Steve Rogers right in his ken doll looking face. But then I see a spark of hopefulness in Bucky and I can say no.

"Fine Rogers, you're lucky you're only a floor away. See you later geezers." I turn away quickly before I can get sucked back into conversation. I should have kept my mouth shut, Steve wasn't going to let this go.

Who was I kidding? Of course I wanted to see Bucky later. Maybe he'd flirt with me again…maybe I'd flirt back.


	4. Look me in the eyes again

"I think I might've inhaled you  
I can feel you behind my eyes  
You gotten into my bloodstream  
I can feel you flowing in me" Bloodstream by Stateless

Chapter 4

I try really hard to focus on my work, I really do, but I just can't stop thinking about the breathy tone of Bucky's voice earlier. I've got it bad, how did that happen? Did I really become that enamored with him before we ever met? I spent a lot of time learning about James Barnes after Steve started speaking about him. After visiting the Smithsonian, it became a little bit of an obsession for me. This gorgeous soldier in all those black and white photos, heroic as all hell, and tragic beyond words. I was a goner before I ever saw him in all his broody gloriousness.

Time seems to drag today but before I know it I'm back in my room changing into something more casual than my work attire. I put on a pair of little black athletic shorts and a red tank top. I pull my hair up into a messy bun and feel infinitely more comfortable. I figure looking casual is a better idea for tonight. It's not like I'm going on a date, just going to hang out with some friends. My phone goes off a little after six informing me that Steve had just ordered the food and I should make my way up to his and now Bucky's floor.

I'm fighting back nerves after I make the short trek to their living quarters. Before I can knock the door swings open, a huge smile on Steve's face. He welcomes me inside before pulling me into a hug. It's not an odd thing for him to do but we did just see each other earlier in the day. I hear an annoyed sounding huff behind Steve that I'm assuming is Bucky.

"I'm going to head out to pick up the food in just a minute. There's a bottle of wine in the fridge if you want a glass Liya." I smile at his cheery tone as I walk around him and towards his small kitchen.

With Steve no longer standing in front of me I now have a full view of Bucky as he does of me. His eyes rake over my body in a none to subtle way, staring a little longer than necessary at my legs. And if that alone didn't make my heart speed up the sight of him in tight fitting wife beater and low slung sweat pants really does me in. I can see the obvious outline of very toned abs and that mans arms! Or should I say arm? Although the metal one is shaped to duplicate a well muscled arm…is it twisted how attractive I find the Vibranium limb? He looks as if he just got out of the shower, his long hair is still damp. I take a deep breath and force myself to keep moving towards the refrigerator. He still hasn't said a word to me as I pass right by him but I can swear I feel eyes on me.

Steve had already removed the cork from the chilled bottle of Moscato for me, ever the gentleman. "You're a man after my own heart Steve Rogers! Thank you for supporting my wine habit even though you can't enjoy the affects yourself." When I turn back around I jump almost right out of my own skin and drop the bottle of wine because Bucky is so close I almost smack right into his broad chest. "Holy shit Bucky!" I expect to hear breaking glass but instead a metal hand is gripping the neck of the wine bottle. Super soldier reflexes I guess. "You scared the hell out of me, make some noise or something when you come walking up on someone." He's so close to me I have to crane my neck to meet his eyes.

"Sorry doll, moving quietly just comes naturally." I snatch the wine bottle from his hand with narrowed eyes. That infuriatingly attractive grin turns up his lips at my annoyance. I pour myself a glass of the white wine and return the bottle to the fridge.

Steve announces that he's going to pick our food up. Bucky follows me to the couch and sits down close enough that I can feel the heat radiating off him. Is he intentionally trying to get to me?

"You know in mine and Steve's day you would never see a dame wearing shorts that tiny." I snort out a laugh.

"Yea well us modern women like being cool in the summer and can wear whatever we feel like without being judged too harshly." I take a big gulp of my wine and angle myself so I'm facing more towards Bucky even though I'm honestly scared if I keep looking at him this closely I might do something stupid.

"God bless the twenty first century." I can't help but bust up at that. He's smiling broadly, looking pleased with himself.

"I'm really glad you seem to be doing so well you know? Steve was so worried about you, I honestly didn't know what to expect when he told me you were coming here." The smile wipes from his face. He's silent for a moment but holds my gaze with an intensity that's hard to look away from.

"I don't know if I'd say I'm doin well exactly…but I'm free." He's speaking quietly, a little shaky. "I'm free for the first time in over seventy years and I can't just throw that away. After everything Steve's been through thinkin I was dead and then findin out what really happened…he feels guilty, he feels responsible for all that bullshit and I know that if I sit here and shut down and freak out like I feel I'm gonna most of the time it will tear him apart. He'll blame himself if he sees me like that and I just can't do that to him. I remember him, I remember so much of our lives growin up now, he's my family. Even after everything I've done he refuses to give up on me so if I give up on myself it would be like a slap to the face. I won't put him through any more pain, I don't want to hurt anyone ever again." I'm on the verge of tears. He and Steve have the kind of friendship most people never experience.

I don't think before I do it but I'm suddenly wrapping my arms around Bucky and burying my face into the juncture of his neck and shoulder. I feel and hear him inhale deeply. He stiffens for the briefest moment before his strong arms are squeezing me right back. He's warm and smells like a mixture of sandalwood and metal, its ridiculously alluring.

"You're an amazing man James Barnes." I pull away from him slowly, not really wanting to. Instead I take his metal hand in mine and stay close. "I want you to know you really can talk to me. I don't want you to internalize everything just because you don't want to hurt Steve. You don't have to make an appointment you can just call or show up at my door, I don't care if its two in the morning, I want to help you so please don't hide all your pain from me. You deserve to be happy." His eyes are swimming with some kind of emotion I can't name. He looks down to our intertwined hands and gives me a squeeze.

"This thing really don't bother you?" I don't think he knows how to respond to all I said and I'm ok with that because he looks like he was hanging on to my every word and I know one day it will be easier for him to speak his mind. It's my turn to grin at him.

"I think I already told you this morning in not so many words exactly how much it doesn't bother me." Blue eyes are darkening dangerously and I dare to inch closer.

"You're killin me here sweetheart." That smooth voice is barely above a whisper. I can't stop staring at those plumps of his.

"Dinner has arrived!" Steve's cheerful voice and the slam of the door makes us jump apart. Bucky runs his hands through his hair and groans out ебать (fuck). Tell me about it. Steve has some awful timing.

I get up quickly to assist Steve with getting all the cartons of food out of the bags and opening them. "I ordered pretty much everything since I'm pretty sure Buck's never had Thai before." There's enough food to feed a small army here but I guess you probably need that much when feeding super soldiers and I'm sure not complaining. All three of us pile our plates way too high with food.

We decide to watch Ace Ventura and its an obvious hit because the two men just can't stop laughing. They banter back and forth and talk about their childhoods for hours on end. I've never seen Steve so full of joy and it warms my heart to be a witness. I'm almost positive there's no one else on earth that deserves happiness more than these two men. They'd both sacrificed so much.

"We should all go to Coney Island sometime, the whole team. It's one thing that time hasn't completely destroyed." Steve sounds so enthusiastic.

"I remember us having some real good times there." Bucky's smiling fondly, remembering days long past.

"Was your favorite place to take whatever girl you were seeing at the time." They both chuckle.

"Who doesn't like being won a teddy bear? Worked every time." I scoff and roll my eyes at the two men playfully. "Don't worry doll I'll win you the biggest one there and then I'll take ya on the wonder wheel." He winks dramatically at me making Steve laugh.

"I might be harder to impress than those starry eyed girls of the forties Sarge." There's something about me calling him that always causes his eyes to blow wide.

My phone chimes loudly, it's Natasha. "Excuse me for a sec boys." I leave the room and walk into the bathroom to take the phone call.

"Hey Nat!"

"I'm sorry I left today without saying bye Liya. Got some field work I'm doing for Stark that couldn't really wait." I can tell from her tone of voice that she won't elaborate right now, she never truly trusted a phone line to be secure.

"Its fine. Steve and Bucky are keeping me company." She huffs loudly.

"Of course they are. So you boning Barne's yet? I'd kick her if she was here.

"Don't be ridiculous." Not that I wouldn't, not that I haven't thought about it.

"It's not ridiculous, its inevitable. Let me know when it happens so I can kick his ass and threaten to slit his throat accordingly." Was the attraction really that noticeable?

"Whatever you say mom. I'm going to go back to what I was doing now. Stay safe and text me later." She laughs before hanging up.

I open the bathroom door and almost scream because of course Bucky is standing right outside silent as ever. I smack his chest and prepare to give him a verbal beating but he's pushing me into the room and trapping me between his arms and the wall. My breath hitches when my back hits the wall. The look he's giving me is downright sinful. Well this was unexpected.

Now that he's got me in this position he seems lost. He's breathing hard but completely silent. Maybe Steve was right and I do need to take the initiative. Despite that I still think I should give Bucky the control here since he's went far too long without it. I speak quietly and keep my eyes trained on his. "What do you want right now Bucky?" I sound breathier than I intended. He swallows visibly when I lick lips.

"Nothin I deserve to have." I reach a hand out slowly to cup his cheek. His eyes close as he pushes into my touch.

"You deserve everything." I say it with resolve and it breaks his.

His lips are soft and warm and more than I could've hoped for. He's passionate and intense and so very him. I tangle my hands into his hair when he grasps my hips. I give his hair a slight tug and the low moan he makes shoots right through me. It's me that pushes my tongue into his mouth, it earns me another wicked sound and he pulls me flush against him. A loud cough from Steve in the other room has Bucky separating himself from me. We both know he was doing it to remind us of his presence.

"Was it alright that I did that doll?" He's unsure of himself and a little out of breath.

"Yes. In fact, I think you should definitely do it again sometime very soon." He chuckles and presses a quick peck to the top of my head.

"We better get back to that punk in there before he tries to embarrass the hell outta me." We're both smiling like idiots. I almost don't care that Steve's in the other room.

Everything was going to change now and for the first time in my life I couldn't be happier about that.


	5. Never Let Me Go

"And the arms of the ocean are carrying me

And all this devotion was rushing over me

And the questions I have for a sinner like me

But the arms of the ocean deliver me" Never Let Me Go by Florence and the machine

Chapter 5

We put on another movie. Steve keeps sending me this knowing smile. If I wasn't so ridiculously happy I might've socked him one. Bucky sits close to me, our legs touching. I feel his eyes on me almost the whole movie until suddenly a soft snore startles me. Bucky's head is lolled back on the couch, mouth open, snoring softly. The sight tears a giggle from me and a chuckle from Steve.

"He barely sleeps, must've finally got the best of him. He really must feel comfortable with you if he's willing to let his guard down enough to fall asleep." Steve's voice is quiet and fond sounding.

"I don't know about all that, but I am glad he's getting some rest." He really is the most gorgeous man I've ever laid eyes on. He looks so peaceful. I can't help but reach out and brush a stray hair off his face. He makes a soft sound but continues to snooze.

"You're good for him Liya. I think he'll be good for you too." Steve is so optimistic about whatever is blooming between Bucky and I, it's nice that I have his approval. I'm scared shitless. This could cause many problems on both our ends. There was a reason I never got close to anyone all these years, but I can't bring myself to dwell on that too much, whatever this is is far stronger than my fear.

"I hope I can be. I don't want to hurt him." The thing about Steve Rogers is despite how good and polite he is he has absolutely no problem speaking his mind and giving you an honest opinion. It's one of the things I respect about him most and something that tends to get him in trouble with the wrong kinds of people. So hearing him say that he believes I'm good for his best friend honestly means something to me because Steve never says anything he doesn't mean.

"Can I tell you something Liya?" I nod in affirmation to the blonde man. "That first night Bucky saw you he told me he'd dreamed of you before." I quirk an eyebrow in confusion. "He said that he'd dreamed about you for years, even when he was the soldier. Said it was one of the only things that got him through some of the long nights of not knowing himself. He assumed that the woman in his dreams was someone important to him from our life before, that he just couldn't remember who it was." I'm really thrown off by this. There's no way. Maybe I just remind him of someone.

"That makes no sense Stevie, That's not possible." He nods his head in agreement, but his smile is almost blinding with some secret.

"Yea, that's what I thought too. With his mind being as fractured and all over the place as it is I just figured he'd somehow mixed you up with someone else or had just heard me speak about you so much that you felt familiar when he saw you." He's still smiling, and I can tell he's not done talking so I wait with bated breath. "Then I saw the pictures…they're you. One hundred percent you, from years before I ever spoke about you or knew Buck was still alive." My heart is racing, the sound of it loud to my ears.

"What do you mean pictures?" I sound shaky, I feel like I might pass out.

"Drawings. He drew you Liya, dozens of times. Then he saw you in real life and said that he'd never felt so whole or peaceful in his entire life." My head is spinning, I don't know if I feel like throwing up or crying. Steve wouldn't lie. But what the hell did all this mean?

"H-How? I want to see them." My voice is louder than I intended and Bucky grumbles and shifts in his sleep. We both still until his snoring returns.

"It's his place to show you not mine. I figured telling you would give him a kickstart though. I think he's scared to say anything because it sounds so crazy."

It does sound crazy, impossible even. For some reason unknown to me I believe it and not just because Steve is telling me. I was drawn to James Barnes the moment I heard about him. I became consumed by this overwhelming need to know absolutely everything I could about him. I wanted nothing more than to meet him, and then when I did it was an immediate kind of attraction. The rational part of me is screaming that this kind of shit just cant happen but the other half is saying that in a world of super soldiers, aliens, and Viking gods the concept of some intense romantic connection that goes far deeper than something my logical brain can grasp really isn't that strange.

"I'll try to get him to talk to me about it, I don't think he's crazy. Thank you for telling me."

We chat quietly for a few more minutes before my eyes start to droop and I decide to leave. I stand to leave, hugging Steve before heading for the door. I'm stopped halfway there by a soft mutter of Ангел (angel) from Bucky in his sleep. My heart swells, he had called me that before not knowing I'd understood him. Steve's eyes are trained on me as I open the door. I'm rendered almost breathless by all I'm feeling. It causes me to whisper unfiltered words to my friend.

"I'm going to fall in love with him aren't I Stevie?" The captain doesn't seem shocked by the question.

"I sure do hope so Liya, because I think as far as he's concerned there's a real good reason he's always dreamed of you. You're _her_ you know?" My heart flutters at that. He thinks I'm the one and he barely knows me, that should be off-putting shouldn't it? It's the exact opposite of that.

"I need to get some sleep Stevie. If he wakes up let him know I said good night will ya?" He smiles warmly and closes the door behind me.

Sleep finds me quickly but I'm restless. The nightmares that have plagued me for years still won't go away. The people I killed for SHIELD…for HYDRA they haunt me. So many missions that were just supposed to be for information gathering ended in bloodshed. When you think you're on the right side of things the head count doesn't seem to matter as much. But now I'm haunted by all my choices and by the torture I endured to get what SHIELD wanted.

When I wake I'm fighting through a haze of fatigue and anxiety. It's one of my days off so I dress casually in a pair of dark jeans and a form fitting white tank top. I leave my hair loose and apply the bare minimum of makeup. I don't feel like making breakfast so I wander down to the staff cafeteria and grab a bagel with a side of bacon.

"Do my eyes deceive me or is that my favorite Bulgarian beauty sittin at a table by herself?" I look up with a huge smile on my face. I jump up and run into the waiting arms of one of my favorite people in the world.

"Sam! I didn't know you were back from scouting." He chuckles and holds me at arm's length. His usual chipper expression falls a bit.

"You not sleeping again baby girl?" I roll my eyes and signal for him to follow me back to my table, he takes a seat across from me.

"I've been having nightmares pretty badly again but I'm ok bird brain." He mutters something insulting under his breath, he hates when I make bird jokes.

"Why don't you come down to the VA next week ok? It might help a bit and the boys love seein you." I nod in agreement. It did help, and I enjoy lending Sam a hand when I can and he does the same for me. "I talked to Steve this morning, he said you've been helping him out with Barne's."

"Of course I am, that was always the plan." An eyebrow is raised and he's drumming his fingers on the table. "What Sammy?" He shakes his head in amusement.

"I didn't realize tall, dark, and murdery was your type." I almost spit my tea in his face but end up choking instead.

"Is Steve incapable of keeping his stupid mouth shut!?" I glare at the laughing man across from me.

"He barely said anything, I'm good at reading between the lines." I flip him off and take a bite of my bagel. "I humiliate myself for years continuously getting shot down by you just to find out you have a thing for decrepit cyborgs." A sharp kick under the table makes him wince.

"You never could have handled me fly boy. And whatever is going on between Bucky and I is new, and I don't need your ass meddling in it." He looks surprised.

"Wow, you really do got a thing for him. Stark's gonna shit a brick." My stomach drops at that. Like I hadn't already thought about how badly that conversation would go.

"Which is why you and Captain busybody need to keep your loud mouths shut! This has been going on for all of a day Sammy, we aren't in some established relationship and we have to figure it out for ourselves. I _do_ like him, I'm not going to fuck it up before we even see where it's going to lead." He reaches across the table and takes my hand in his large one.

"Ok I hear you loud and clear. Take a deep breath, damn girl you get riled up easily." I roll my eyes but squeeze his hand back. He was one of my closest friends, I could tell him anything. I'm confused by the wide-eyed half scared look on Sam's face. "Shit, Barne's looks like he's about to go all mindless killer on me." I whip around and take in the irritated but incredibly attractive look on James Barnes face. He's walking slowly, calculated. He's wearing a pair of black athletic pants and a grey under armour shirt that fits his muscled body like a second skin.

I instinctively stand and meet Bucky halfway. I don't even think about it but I'm suddenly wrapping my arms around his solid form. Whatever tension he was feeling seems to melt as he relaxes against me. He's tall enough that he can set his chin on top of my head and I can rest mine against his warm chest. I pull back and meet his eyes which are now much warmer.

"Good morning Bucky. Why did you look so mad a minute ago?" We are still standing close together. He shoots a glare behind me.

"He was holding your hand." He gestures to Sam who looks downright astonished by our little display of affection.

"Sam's one of my best friends, he was comforting me."

I walk back to my table and Bucky sits right by me, our legs touching.

"Wilson." He says it in a clipped tone, gesturing with a small nod of his head.

"Hey Barne's, how's it going?" Sam sounds his usual cheery self again.

"Fine." My dark-skinned friend huffs out a laugh.

"Talkative as usual I see. Well Liya I'm gonna go find Steve and hit the gym. Give me a call later so we can figure something out for the VA." He squeezes my shoulder as he passes by. I think he was trying to not stress out Bucky.

I'm surprised when warm fingers intertwine with my own. A soft smile graces those perfect lips of James Barnes. "Sorry I fell asleep last night doll." He reduces me to a puddle of goo with that smooth voice of his.

"Don't be sorry. You needed the sleep Sarge." His hand squeezes mine a little tighter, eyes darkening that smidge again. I don't know why that seems to effect him so much.

"Steve said that you had the day off today. I was wondering if you'd maybe wanna get dinner with me?" I wonder if he can hear how fast my heart is beating.

"Are you asking me on a date James?" I know I'm smiling like an idiot and he smiles right back. He lifts my hand to his lips before placing a soft kiss there. I'm done for.

"Yea I am. I think I like it when you call me James." He looks so carefree right now. If he likes it I'll make sure to say it over and over again.

"I would love to go on a date with you." Heartbreaking, swoon worthy grin, the kind he had in those 1940's pictures.

"Alright. I'll come to your door around seven. Have a good day doll." He presses a kiss to the top of my head and is gone in a flash. What the hell just happened?

There are more than a few people looking at me. I kind of forgot I was in the middle of the cafeteria. So much for keeping all of this under wraps.


	6. Embraceable You

Chapter 6

"I love all

The many charms about you

Above all

I want my arms about you

Don't be naughty baby

Come to me

Come to me do

My sweet embraceable you" Embraceable You by Billie Holiday

Not ten minutes after I make it back to my suite my phone is ringing, its Nat. "Имам нужда от помощта ти. Имам среща, какво да правя?" Natasha's raspy laugh is the answer to my rushed Bulgarian.

"A date huh? Is it fair to assume it's a man old enough to be your great grandfather?" I curse at her in another slew of Bulgarian. "I've gotta hand it to Barne's, I really didn't think he'd move this quickly. I'm almost proud of him." There's still a hard edge to her voice.

"I'm going to be fine Nat. Don't you dare threaten him either!" She lets out a loud sigh.

"I know you'll be fine. I saw this coming months ago unfortunately." How?

"Steve told me about something, about some drawings of Bucky's, I have yet to see them for myself. Then this weird pull I feel towards him and the way you just seemed to know this would happen. What do you think's going on? I'm sure you have a theory or ten." Again, another loud sigh.

"In about every culture in this world and the others we know of, there are different words for what I think you are experiencing. They say a long time ago that we used to bear each other's soul marks, in asgard they still do. I could tell from how enamored you were with Barne's that something else was at play. I've seen it once before…it's something I'm not ready to talk about yet. You're soul mates, twin flames." Once upon a time I would have laughed at the very concept of that. My grandmother always told me that my grandfather was her soulmate, like she truly believed it. Everyone had heard the old stories of course but did they really hold any merit?

"And you of all people really believe that?" She's silent for a moment.

"If ever there was a person who deserved an amazing love story it's you Aneliya. So yea, I'll choose to believe that you and that crazy tortured soul Barne's are meant to be. At the very least I know he'll keep you safe. It's ok to take what you want with absolute abandon you know?" I didn't expect any of this from her. She's the most logical person I know.

"Ok Nat. What should I wear? He's taking me to dinner." The rest of our conversation is lighthearted and she helps me as best she can over the phone.

When evening rolls around I start getting myself together. I do my hair in soft curls and my makeup a little darker and smokier than usual, my lips are a deep red. The dress I choose is an emerald green midi length slip dress with an attractive cowl neck and completely open back. I pair it with gold pumps and a gold clutch.

Seven o'clock on the dot there's a knock at my door and FRIDAY informing me Sergeant Barnes is at the door. I take a deep breath before opening the door. He looks far too attractive. His hair is pulled back in a small knot at the base of his neck. He's wearing a pair of silver grey slacks and white button up with a jacket to match the pants. He's smiling widely as he gives me a slower than necessary once over. He lets outs a low whistle, I feel heat rise to my cheeks.

"You look stunning sweetheart." His voice sounds reverent. He pulls a bouquet of pink roses from behind his back with an air of shyness. "My ma would kill me if I didn't do all this properly."

I lean forward and plant a kiss to his jaw. "You are incredibly sweet. And you look too good to be true." This time its him who reddens slightly. I gesture to him that I'm taking the flowers inside to a vase.

"Good God, that dress." He groans it out and I giggle a little. I guess he's appreciating my completely bare back right down to my waist.

When I return he keeps his flesh hand pressed to the small of my back as he leads me to the elevator and down to the ground floor.

"So where are we headed James?" His hand presses a little more firmly to me.

"This Asian restaurant not far from here. Steve said that's your favorite kind of food, sushi and stuff. Figured I'd take ya somewhere you'd enjoy." I love that the Brooklyn accent breaks through at random moments.

He hails us a cab and before I know it we're seated in probably the fanciest Japanese restaurant I've ever been in. We order our meals after a few minutes of deliberation and a couple different sushi rolls. I've convinced him to join me in glass of wine even though he insists that alcohol no longer has an effect on him. We sit next to each other at a bar type table.

Bucky just stares at the sushi once it arrives. "Are you scared of some raw fish Sarge?" I shove a whole roll in my mouth and moan a little as I chew. He licks his lips.

"I think I'm a little jealous of it right now." I laugh and pick up another Dynamite roll with my chopsticks and bring it to his lips. I raise an eyebrow in challenge and he opens wide enough for me to deposit it in his mouth. He chews slowly, clearly expecting the worse. After a minute I can tell he's pleasantly surprised though with the slight roll of his eyes. I giggle as he immediately reaches for another one.

"I'm really glad you asked me out tonight you know?" I finish off my third glass of wine as we wait for our plates to be cleared away. The smile I receive is breathtaking.

"I'm really glad you accepted. If you woulda told me a year ago I'd be takin the most beautiful girl I ever laid eyes on out to dinner I wouldn't have believed it for a second." The sincerity in his voice and look on his face makes me feel bold.

I reach forward and take his face in my hands before pressing my lips to his. He stiffens for a moment out of shock I think but quickly gets over it and returns the kiss with fervor. He doesn't seem to mind that I probably taste like raw fish because his tongue is tangling with mine. He's slow, and hot, and passionate enough to have me making an entirely too embarrassing sound in the back of my throat. He pulls back after that but leans his forehead against my own. His eyes are dark and stormy again, he's breathing hard, and biting that delectable bottom lip of his. It takes everything in my to not straddle him right here and now and bite that lip myself.

"That was unexpected doll, can't say I minded though." His voice is a little deeper than usual.

"That's all I want to do anytime you're near me." Maybe it's the little bit of wine that has being so honest, although I really think its just being near this man.

"God, you got no idea what hearin you say things like that does to me darlin." I grin and give him another quick peck on the lips before jumping to my feet.

"I know this place not far from here that I think you'd get a kick out of if you're feeling up to it James." I hold my hand out to him which he takes eagerly.

"I'm feeling up to anything that keeps you with me longer." His sweetness has me grinning like a teenager.

We walk the few blocks to our destination. His eyes widen when we enter the club I've brought us to.

"I know this song." Billie Holiday is pouring through the speakers There are numerous couples slow dancing. I pull him to the dancefloor and he very quickly and just a tad eagerly takes me into his arms. "You're amazin, ya know that?" I don't think I've ever danced quite this intimately with someone before. Even after all these years he still knows how to dance to this music.

"So would you have danced with me like this back then Sarge?" He pulls me impossibly closer.

"I woulda taken you dancing every chance I got. Would have brought you home to meet my ma. I would have driven you crazy until you agreed to be my girl."

The song ends and he leads me away to the bar. I order a screwdriver and he sips some whiskey to humor me.

"So you would have made me your girl huh? I think I like the sound of that." The cool metal of his left hand caresses the lowest part of my back making me gasp in surprise.

"Yea? I like it too, so what do you say doll, wanna be my girl?" His eyes are dancing with playfulness.

"I'd like nothing more. Does that mean that you're mine all mine soldier?" I play with the buttons of his shirt and look up at him through my long lashes.

"I was yours the second you walked through Steve's door the other night Ангел." My heart squeezes in my chest at his endearment.

I close the small space between us again. Maybe all this was too fast but we had both seemed to accept whatever this was as an inevitability that there was no point in fighting. The seal of his kiss feels like a promise that I never want to end.

"Want to go back to my place Sarge?" I don't mean to sound as breathy or desperate as I do but he doesn't seem to mind.

"Hell yes." I laugh at his eager tone and let him lead me out into the night. It doesn't take too long before we're back in the compound and walking through my front door.

I barely have a chance to toss my heels off before Bucky is pushing me against the nearest wall. His lips are back on mine, his knee finds purchase between my legs. I nip at his lower lip and involuntarily grind myself into his leg. A load groan leaves him, he leads a hot wet trail down my neck to my collarbone. I don't think I've ever been more turned on in all my life.

"You smell so good doll." His lips latch on to every inch of available skin from my neck to chest. I push the jacket off his shoulders and start making quick work on the buttons of his shirt.

A bare-chested Bucky Barnes is droolworthy. I don't think I've ever seen anyone as fit and defined as this man, and that metal arm of his does things to me that just aren't right. My hands skim down over his shoulders and pecs. His abdominal muscles involuntarily twitch the lower my hands dare to reach.

"You're so perfect Bucky." Again words are leaving my mouth without my say so. He inhales shakily.

"We don't gotta do anything you don't want to. Just say the word and I'll stop ok?" I can tell he's struggling to maintain control, that he's trying to be a gentleman.

"I don't want to stop. I want you to fuck me until I cant remember my own name." The growl that tears out of his chest is unreal. He wraps his metal hand slowly around my neck before giving the slightest squeeze.

"I'll absolutely _ruin_ you sweetheart." The dark promise in his voice is the sexiest thing I've ever heard.


	7. A Lust for Life

Chapter 7

"Cause we're the masters of our own fate

We're the captains of our own souls

So there's no need for us to hesitate

We're all alone, let's take control

And I was like

Take off, take off

Take off all your clothes

Take off, take off

Take off all your clothes

Take off, take off

Take off all of your clothes

They say only the good die young

That just ain't right

'Cause we're having too much fun

Too much fun tonight, yeah" Lust for Life by Lana Del Rey feat. The Weeknd

I don't know how we got here but we're standing in my bedroom. Two very different feeling hands are sliding the thin straps of my dress down my arms. The silky material slips off me and pools at my feet.

"God ангел. You're so beautiful." I'm standing in nothing but a black lace thong. I couldn't wear a bra under my dress due to the cut.

I fight the urge to cover myself. Bucky is staring at me with a hunger I've never seen in a man before. He circles around me slowly, a sharp intake of breath when he's standing behind me. I don't think thongs existed in the 40's.

He pulls me back against his chest. The full-length mirror on the back of my door is directly in front of us. I look a flushed mess, and Bucky's hair is down and wild, the dark look in his eyes makes me shudder.

His flesh hand wraps delicately around my neck, barely squeezing while metal fingers trail down to grasp my left breast rougher than I expected. The metal is cold but feels heavenly when he tweaks my nipple relentlessly. I moan wantonly.

"Look at how gorgeous you are." His voice rumbles deeply in his chest. My eyes meet his in the mirror as his other hand leaves my neck to slip beneath the thin fabric of my panties. "Fuck, you're soaked doll." My knees are about to buckle from the pleasure. Skilled fingers are rubbing my clit with just enough to pressure to keep me right on the edge.

"Please James." I'm needy sounding even to my own ears. I can feel him hard and ready against me, I grind into him out of desperation.

"Tell me what you want." Two fingers sink into me, we both moan.

"I want your cock inside me." He practically growls, he spins me around roughly before crashing his lips into mine.

A none to gentle push has me landing on the bed. I move back towards the headboard as he removes the rest of his clothing. He's unbelievably attractive. Perfect from head to toe. I'm almost nervous about how large he is because it's been so long for me. A moment later and he's hovering over me with the most passion filled look I've ever seen.

"There's so many things I want to do to you doll but I think they'll have to wait for next time because I'm dying to be inside of you." I whimper at his words and the desperation in his voice. "Do we need protection?"

"I'm on the pill." He lets out a sigh of relief. I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him to me. Our lips meet as he thrusts into me, we both moan at the feeling.

"You're so tight Ангел." He's talking through clenched teeth. The smallest movement of my hips gets him moving.

I don't think I've ever felt anything this good before. We just _fit_. Complete and utter fulfillment is what this is. He grips my waist tightly, metal and flesh leaving its mark as he drives into my body with abandon.

"Bucky…I…Fuck." I can't form a coherent thought let alone sentence. All I can do is feel, and its completely indescribable.

I moan at the loss of him when he suddenly pulls out of me and shifts to his knees before grabbing me roughly by the waist and hooking my legs over his shoulders. The pace he sets is intense and has me moaning continuously.

"You feel so good around my cock Liya." Those words are almost enough to send me over the edge, he's perfect. He groans as I tighten around him. "That's it doll, I want you to cum on me."

The mouth on this man is too much. I arch into his thrusting hips, chasing my orgasm. "James, please…" I don't know what I'm pleading for but he seems to know. Cold Vibranium pinches my nipple roughly before traveling upwards and wrapping just tight enough around my throat. That's all it takes and I'm shattering.

"I'm cumming!" Chanting his name like a prayer. Bucky loses his rhythm, pounding into me even harder for a few moments before I feel him pulsing inside me.

"Fuck!" His eyes roll slightly as he releases.

He shifts my legs off his shoulders gently and pulls out of me with just as much care. I laugh as he falls back beside me limply, a boyish grin on his face as he pulls me to his chest. He runs his fingers through my hair and I draw lazy circles over his heart. I'm content.

"Next time I'll last longer, in my defense it's been over seventy years since I've done that." I scoff at his ridiculous statement.

"Coulda fooled me Sarge. You got some moves for a man your age." He chuckles and presses a kiss to my forehead, arm wrapping even tighter around me.

"You're amazing Aneliya, you've made this old man really happy." I smile against his skin. I prop myself up enough to press my lips to his sweetly.

"Can I ask you something?" He nods and I can't help but kiss his plump lips again. I want to ask him about this while he's in such a carefree mood. I figure I might as well just go for it.

"Can I see your drawings?" His eyebrows knit together in confusion before he lets out a groan and covers his eyes with his arm.

"Damnit Steve!" I straddle his waist and pull his metal limb away from his face. His expression is almost sheepish.

"Don't be embarrassed James. I really want to see." He wraps his arms around me and pulls himself up to a sitting position, so he can embrace me properly. He buries his face in my neck and speaks against my skin.

"Are you sure? It might freak you out." I shake my head.

"Please baby?" I don't know why that slipped out, but it did. He groans and flips me onto my back with a smile back on his face.

"Well when you ask like that I'll give you anything you want. You wait right here, and I'll go grab my sketchbook from upstairs really quick, ok?" He scrambles around looking for his clothes. Once his pants are on he shoots me a soft smile before heading out of my room.

Once I hear the front door close I jump up and make a quick trip to the bathroom to clean up a bit. I run a brush through my crazy hair and wipe the smeared makeup from my face. Once I feel freshened up I return to the bedroom. I pull on a pair of boy shorts and a well-worn tank top before climbing back into bed.

FRIDAY informs me that Bucky is at my door and I tell the AI to grant him access. When he reenters my bedroom he's in a pair of low slung sweatpants and a beater. He smiles at my appearance and joins me back on the bed.

"I don't know how much Steve told you, but I've been drawing these for about ten years now. The few times I was out of cryo during those years I always had a bag on me, my very few belongings included a sketch book. They never really let me have much, but they didn't throw these out for some reason." I take the book from him and flip open the first page.

I gasp at the perfect likeness of me training with Nat. I check the date in the corner, I was only eighteen there. His drawings are a little rougher than Steve's but still beautiful and detailed. I turn through page after page of drawings of myself. In some I'm alone, others I'm with my friends. A few have me fighting, killing. I can't take my eyes off the drawings. In one I'm completely nude and lying on my bed. So many random moments of my life are captured in Bucky's drawings. I'm shocked, this is so strange.

"I know that this has to seem crazy. I have no explanation for you at all. I about had a heart attack when I saw you for the first time, then you spoke, and I realized that somehow I was meant to be here, that all of this had to mean something." He sounds so unsure as he speaks. I'm tearing up for some reason. The last picture is of me embracing Bucky.

I set the book aside. I kneel in front of the gorgeous man beside me and crash my lips into his again. He sighs into my lips.

"Twin flames, that's what Nat says we are. You are meant to be here with me." He caresses my face with his flesh hand. He doesn't look stressed for once.

"Twin flames huh? I like the sound of that doll. All I know is that I'm yours for as long as you'll have me, even though that sounds crazy. We barely know each other but I can't stop thinking about you, I wanna know everything." I feel the same way. This is such an irrational situation, but I feel happier than I've ever been.

"I'm yours too James. So I think you're obligated to stay the night now." He smiles at me and pulls me back to rest against his chest again.

"Wasn't planning on going anywhere sweetheart. Why don't you tell me something about yourself?" Fingers are brushing through my hair again, it tugs at my heart.

"Like what? You want to know trivial things, like likes and dislikes? Or do you want the nitty gritty serious shit?" He chuckles and presses a kiss to the top of my head.

"I want it all. Why don't you start with the light stuff though." I hum against his chest.

"Well my favorite color is green. My birthday is January 14th. I hate most vegetables. And I like to smoke pot on occasion." I nip at his neck playfully and he groans.

"You drive me wild doll. I can't wait to learn more and more about you every day."

"The same goes for you. I want you to be comfortable talking to me. I've obviously crossed the unprofessional line here but I still want to help you, now more than ever. I don't want you to be worried that anything you tell me is going to scare me off. I've read all the HYDRA and SHIELD files and I don't hold any of it against you." I'm pulled to him even tighter. His words come out in barely more than a whisper.

"Thank you. It might take me awhile to be able to talk about all of it but I promise I'll try. I know I can't hold all of this shit in or it's gonna eat me alive. I wanna live." His voice is full of emotion.

I prop myself up again so I can properly kiss him. It doesn't take long before our passion grows and I'm straddling his legs. I'm ready to lower myself onto him when I loud voice startles us.

"Captain Rogers is at your door Miss Angelov." Stupid Friday and stupid Steve.

"What the hell does that punk want?" I move off of Bucky, he scrambles to pull on his sweat pants and I wrap my black silk robe around my naked body.

We kiss a few more times before heading to the front door. Bucky wrenches open my front door with a glare. A giggle escapes my mouth at the shocked look on Steve's face when he takes in our appearances.

"Oh…uh… sorry guys. I got worried because neither of you were answering your phones. Guess I just jumped to conclusions and figured something was wrong. Obviously, that's not the case. What do the kids these days say? Uh, my bad." This times I full on bust up.


	8. Crystalline knowledge of you

"Do you always trust your first initial feeling  
Special knowledge holds truth bears believing  
I turned around  
And the water was closing all around  
Like a glove  
Like the love that had finally, finally found me  
Then I knew  
In the crystalline knowledge of you  
Drove me through the mountains  
Through the crystal-like clear water fountain  
Drove me like a magnet  
To the sea" Crystal by Stevie Nicks

Sleeping next to Bucky gave me the best nights rest I've had in years, complete dreamless sleep. I can feel eyes on me before I even open mine. I stretch lazily and groan before finally opening my eyes to take in the beautiful man beside me. Bucky is lying on his side face propped up on his flesh hand grinning down at me in the most carefree way.

"Good morning doll." His voice is still raspy from sleep, the warm smile gracing his lips is contagious. I snuggle into his chest and press a kiss there.

"It's a little creepy to stare at someone while they're sleeping Buck." He chuckles and gently rolls me over to my back so he can hover over me.

"I wake up in the bed of the most sexy woman on the face of the Earth who also happens to be naked and you expect me not to stare?" It's wonderful to hear that joking tone of his but I'm honestly having a hard time concentrating on anything he's saying because he too is naked and intimately pressed against me. I let my eyes trail down his bare chest before it registers that he's actually speaking and my eyes snap back to his. He's laughing again. "Now who's staring?"

I take his face in my hands to pull him close so I can feel those perfect pouty lips against my own. Bucky responds eagerly, a pleasured groan leaving his throat as his tongue tangles with mine. My whole body feels like it's on fire all over again. I push against his strong shoulders so he'll roll to his back.

"I want to ride you James." The growl that rumbles through his chest as he pulls me to straddle his waist has me even more eager if that's possible. Both metal and flesh grip my hips as he lowers me onto his waiting cock.

"Fuck Liya, you feel so damn good." Our rhythm is slow and unhurried. I roll my hips in time with his sharp thrusts. We just fit together so perfectly. It doesn't take long before I'm moaning loudly and chasing my peak.

"That's it, cum for me darlin." He pushes his metal thumb past my lips, I eagerly suck at it. Next thing I know he's pressing the metal digit to my aching clit.

"Bucky!" My orgasm triggers his own. I love feeling the hot pulse of him inside me. I collapse on his chest for a moment before flopping to my side next to him.

"Let's go take a shower baby." The way he lights up when I call him that is enough to make my heart feel like it's going to burst.

* * *

I've never been good at keeping my thoughts to myself, maybe it's the therapist in me. I believe in taking action when you need to regardless of how difficult the task may be. So as Bucky and I finish off our breakfast I know I need to speak my mind about our future.

"Bucky, I don't want to hide this. I honestly don't think I could keep how I feel about you to myself." He runs his flesh hand through his hair and sighs. The look on his face is conflicted, his lips are tugged up in a small smile but his eyes are stormy, almost sad.

"I don't think I could hide it either sweetheart but what's that gonna mean for you? Obviously Stevie knows and I'm sure Nat does too, but Stark? He hates me and I don't blame him one bit. I don't want you to lose your friend over me. I'm sure he won't be the only one who won't be ok with us being together." Together. Funny how that's what's tugging at my heart more than the rest of his speech. I know what he says is true and I hate that for him. He deserves all the happiness in the world.

"Anyone who has a problem with us is just going to have to get over it. I know all of this is this crazy and everyone will probably thinks it's too fast but they don't know what we're feeling and they don't know the amazing man that you are. I will find a way to get through to everyone. I think that I can. If you really want to pursue this with me than I will do everything I can to protect us." He reaches across the small table between us and takes my hand in his. Happiness is reaching his blue eyes again.

"Doll, I've wanted you for so long, even when I didn't know myself, without even knowing you were real. There's nothing that's gonna keep me away from you now that I have you." I'm not an overly emotional person, I couldn't be when I was a SHIELD agent and I can't now that my job is to help people control their own emotions, but Bucky's words have me tearing up.

"I have an idea but I'm going to have to ask you a favor." He cocks his head to the side. "I can't remember the last time someone asked me for a favor honestly, but anything that you need doll." I laugh and squeeze his hand.

"I know your sketches are deeply personal to you, and I know they're one of the only constants you've ever had but I'd like to borrow the sketch book you showed me last night. I promise I will take care of it and give it right back after I've showed it to someone." He's trying his best to not look unsure but I can sense the surprise and uncertainty in his gaze.

"You sure you want to show those to someone? I mean I drew you in some pretty compromising positions. Even I felt like a dirty old man drawing some of the more risqué ones." I think some of those 1940s traditional beliefs are still instilled into that pretty head of his.

"If you don't mind I really would like to show them to someone that I think could help talk some sense into Tony." He nods his head in understanding.

"Of course, anything you ever want, it's yours." How the hell did I get so lucky? I mean this man is too sweet for his own good.

* * *

Bucky reluctantly agrees to go with Steve to workout so I can pop into my office to keep my few appointments for the day. My work day goes quicker than I anticipated honestly since I can't seem to stop thinking about how badly I just want to be in my soldiers arms again. Luckily I'm done with work early so I can make the meeting I arranged earlier through some vague email exchanges.

I take the quick elevator trip to Tony's suite. I'm greeted by the warm but poised Pepper Potts as soon as I step out the doors.

"It's always lovely to see you Aneliya. I have to say I'm pretty intrigued by all this secrecy. Im sure you know Tony is in the lab with Bruce and that's why you wanted to meet." I follow Pepper to she and Tony's lavishly decorated living room and take a seat on the couch beside her.

"I need to show you something and I have to tell you some things that I need you to have an open mind about. I've always respected you Pep, we've been friends for a long time now and you know how much Tony means to me." My ginger haired friend looks concerned now.

"We both adore you, you know that. What's going on?" I take a deep breath before I begin.

"You know that James Barnes is staying at the compound now?" Pepper nods her head, worry still marring her features.

"So this is about Him? That's why you wanted to speak to me alone. I've tried to get Tony to really think everything with him through, I really have. Honestly Liya I can't even believe you were able to talk Tony into allowing him to stay here. If you're here to defend Bucky you don't have to. I may not be an avenger but I've read all the debriefings even when I shouldn't have and I've spoken to Steve and Natasha and I know that the Winter Soldier and Bucky Barnes aren't the same person. What happened to that poor man breaks my heart. Tony is angry and he's scared and we can't blame him for that. I'll keep trying to do what I can to help him heal and help get him through what he saw Bucky do to his parents but you'll probably make more of an impact than I will." Pepper is such an amazing woman, she's tough but compassionate and exactly what Tony needs.

"When I first met Steve and we became friends he started coming to talk to me about his past and how lost he was even before I stopped being a SHIELD agent. We just hit it off, I've always been good at listening, at giving advice. He opened up to me about how hard it was for him to acclimate to this time when to him no time at all had passed since the 1940s. More than anything he talked about how much he missed his best friend, Bucky was his family. From the moment he said his name and showed me his picture I couldn't keep my mind off of him. I read everything I could about him and admired the man who had sacrificed his life for this country. We used to go to the Captain America exhibit at the Smithsonian undercover all the time, Natasha would always give me shit for how much time I spent standing in front of the Bucky Barnes section of the exhibit. Then Steve found out he was alive and not only was I thrilled for him but I was beyond excited at the prospect of meeting the man one day. When I talked Tony into letting him stay here Natasha was worried. She knew somehow that my fascination with him meant something, she knew it was beyond curiosity and she knew that I would care about him from the moment I set eyes on him." Pepper reaches over and takes my hands in hers. She smiles sweetly and gives my hands a squeeze.

"And you do care for him?" She doesn't sound judgmental, maybe she heard something in my voice that I didn't realize I conveyed. I huff out a laugh at my disbelief of this whole

Situation that I still haven't quite grasped.

"You can't even understand how much I care about him already Pep, I mean I guess I always did which sounds insane. He cares about me too, there's this thing between us that is irrevocable and that's what I need to talk to you about. We started…a romantic relationship and Tony he's not going to understand. He's going to see this as a betrayal and I don't want to hurt him. I won't hide it from him and I won't stop seeing Bucky so I need him to understand." I reach into my work suitcase and pull out the sketch pad. I hand it to Pepper, she raises an eyebrow and waits for me to explain. "When Bucky was still the Winter Soldier one of the few things he was allowed when he came out of cryo were sketch books. He and Steve used to draw back when they were growing up and it's something from his past that stuck with him. He never knew why they let him draw but he did. This book in particular contains sketches of a woman that he dreamt of for years and years. He thought maybe it was someone from his past, someone who slipped through the cracks of his forgotten memories, he thought that until he came here and saw me."

I gesture to Pepper to open the sketch book. She gasps as she flips through page after page of me. Her fingers trace the dates in the corner of each page. "We didn't even know you yet in some of these, you were so young." She lingers on a drawing of me sitting beside Tony in the old avengers tower with a smile on his face and finally she turns to the last page with Bucky and I embracing.

"Aneliya…he's your soulmate. Tony of all people can't fault you for falling in love with your soulmate." Falling in love… that's exactly what this is isn't it? Did I deserve the love of this man? Wait what did she mean by he couldn't fault me?

"Tony is far too logical to buy into this even though to me there's no denying it at this point, but how the hell can I convince him of something that I can't explain? You hardly hear about anyone having soul mates anymore. It isn't as if we get marks anymore you know? It seems like it's died out as time has gone on." She simply smiles at me as I rant.

"Tony will understand because I'm his soulmate. Why the hell do you think I keep coming back to that arrogant reckless man? It hurts too much to stay away from him. We were always drawn to each other and Tony being him drowned it out with booze and women and fought it because he's exactly as you say he is, but he couldn't deny it anymore once he let down his walls. We had to be in each other's lives." My mind is officially blown. Tony Stark not only believes in soul mates but has one.

"I don't even know what to say now Pepper. You know it still won't be that easy though, nothing ever is with Tony but you've eased my worries a lot. I'll try to speak with him tomorrow if I can." Pepper stands and pulls me into a hug.

"I'm happy you trusted me with this. You've done so much for all of us over the years and I'm glad that you feel you can turn to me with something like this and that I can be of help. We will find a way to get through to Tony together." I squeeze my friend back fondly. Pepper keeps her hands on my shoulders even when she pulls away. "Liya, don't fight how you're feeling about Bucky, trust me it will only hurt you both in the long run. You love that man with everything you have and you let him love you back, take care of each other. I don't know what exactly I believe in in this crazy world we live in. There's aliens and mutants and superhero's and Gods and so many things I never thought would be possible. Just know that something greater than all of us knew that you and that man needed each other and trust in that, no matter what will be thrown at us we will always have another half of us to keep us whole and grounded. There's great comfort in that, at least I think so." Yea Pepper, I think there is too.


	9. Dreaming of angels

"Light reflects from your shadow  
It is more than I thought could exist  
You move through the room  
Like breathing was easy  
If someone believed me

They would be  
As in love with you as I am  
They would be  
As in love with you as I am  
They would be  
As in love with you as I am  
They would be  
In love, love, love

And everyday  
I am learning about you  
The things that no one else sees  
And the end comes too soon  
Like dreaming of angels

And leaving without them" Angels by xx

Chapter 9

I make my way to Steve and Bucky's apartment without so much as even changing my clothes. It's pretty ridiculous how much I've missed being away from Bucky today. It isn't until I'm standing in front of their door that I realize I never even asked if I could come by. I start feeling ridiculously nervous. Maybe he doesn't even want to see me right now. Maybe he needs some space or time to spend with other people. Aren't I supposed to be helping? Am I being selfish? All the intrusive thoughts are enough to have me turning back around before I even lift a hand to knock or ask Friday to let the boys know I'm at their door.

I'm only a few steps away from the door when I hear it open. "Liya? What're ya doin?" I slowly turn back around to look at Bucky. My heart races the second I lay eyes on him. How the hell did he manage to look so damn good just wearing a plain shirt and sweatpants? How could one glance at him make me feel so fucking elated and warm and whole. He's smiling fondly, like he's so happy to see me.

"Um…I'm not really sure. I just got done with everything I had to do today and it's like my feet carried me to your door before I could really think about what I was doing. Then I got here and just kept thinking how stupid it was of me to show up without an invitation or without at least asking so I was just going to go back to my floor. I just missed you, which is silly I guess. And now I'm feeling uncharacteristically nervous and can't stop rambling."

His smile widens before he closes the small distance between us and pulls me into his warm embrace. God he smells good, all manly but fresh, and just Bucky like really. He kisses the top of my head before pulling back to look me in the eyes. "I missed you too doll. Haven't stopped thinkin about you all day. I was about five minutes from bursting through your door honestly." I laugh at his playful tone.

I can't help but to pull him down into a kiss. His lips feel perfect on mine, so soft and unyielding. He pulls my body even closer to his and I rake my hands through his thick hair.

"Hey guys think you can stop making out like teenagers in the hall and come eat dinner? It's ready." We both break apart with a laugh at Steve's teasing voice.

"Leave it to Captain America to be a cock block." Bucky snorts at that and has the audacity to slap my ass to get me moving.

I dramatically throw my arms around Steve when I walk into the kitchen. "Steven, I love you dearly even though you're a pain in the ass." The blonde just pats my hands and shrugs me off of him. Steve made cheeseburgers and fries and has them already on our plates at the table. "Jesus Rogers you really are an all American boy through and through." He just rolls his eyes and gestures for me to take a seat.

"I was hoping you'd be by for dinner. Buck was driving me insane today with how antsy he was, he couldn't shut up about you." Said super soldier glares daggers at his equally super best friend.

"Can it punk. I was just eager to get the hell away from Wilson. That guy never stops talking, I thought I'd end up using him for target practice if I didn't get out of that gym." Steve and I both laugh at that. I think we are both happy at how well Bucky seems to be doing and how freely he's speaking.

We finish off our meal slowly, enjoying all the banter between the three of us. I love the friendship between Bucky and Steve and I love that I seem to fit in seamlessly. Steve decides to get to bed early since he leaves on a mission with Sam in the morning to meet up with Nat. He makes me promise to keep an eye on Bucky for him which I of course agree to do.

* * *

Bucky and I are curled up on the couch watching Harry Potter, it's something he and Steve both need to check off their lists. We're both laying down, Bucky's behind me propped up on the arm of the couch. Who'd have thought that the man who was formerly the winter soldier would like to cuddle?

"I think I'm going to reschedule my two appointments for tomorrow and spend it with you and also try to get Tony to speak with me. I think I'll put in some vacation time.." I feel him stiffen for a moment before he resumes trailing his fingers up and down my arm.

"I don't want ya to start messing up your work schedule because of me doll. I'll be fine tomorrow while you're at work." I let out a sigh and sit up on the couch, he follows suit so he's seated beside me.

"I know you'll be fine baby. I've never taken even a day of vacation time and it would really make me feel better if I could help get you settled in more. The plan was always to devote a lot of time to your recovery when you got here. I promised Steve that I would help you before I even knew you. Neither of us realized you'd be in as good of shape as you are, and despite how well you seem to be doing on the surface you still told me you're fighting demons in that head of yours. I don't think that this romantic relationship is going to magically make everything ok for you. I'm still determined to help you, even more-so now. We are going to have to bring you around the rest of the team at some point too, I don't think they got to know you too well during that whole fiasco at the airport." I'm surprised to hear a deep chuckle next to me,. Bucky is just flat out laughing at me.

"Jesus doll, you always have that much stuff on your mind?" I glare pointedly at the former assassin and poke him hard in the chest. He grins before brining my hand up to his lips. "You're already helping, more than ya know. I promise I'll let ya pick my brain still. As for the team, it might take me a little bit more time to want to be around a lot of other people. I know I've been really open and easy going with you and I really think that's because of the whole soul mate thing. I've known Stevie since I was a kid and he's barely changed other than the way he looks, but there's still times I don't know the right way to talk to him because I'm not the same. There's a lot of pretending and thinking how would his Bucky answer this and that. I don't trust easily anymore and I'm still worried that all any of those other guys are going to see is the Hydra and Shield files they've read on me." He tapers off at the end, his voice sounding solemn.

It hurts me that he's so worried about all of that. He deserves so much happiness, he deserves the world. I would give anything to go back and change things for him. The walls of his and Steve's living room are covered in old black and white photographs of the two of them. They both look so carefree, their arms slung around each other, pictures of Bucky and Steve laughing, pictures of the howling commandos as a whole.

I turn back to Bucky and straddle his waist, he settles his hands on my hips and leans back against the back of the couch. My hands trail up his strong chest before cradling his face. He closes his eyes and leans into my touch for a moment before meeting mine.

"You don't have to be anyone other than who you are right now. Steve knows that and he'll feel better seeing the real you.. Everyone else is going to like you too, you just have to give them the chance." I press a soft kiss to Bucky's lips and then bury my face in his neck.

"You're way too good for me doll. I keep thinkin of all these disgustingly romantic books and poetry I used to read back when Steve and I were in school. He used to give me so much shit because I would memorize poems to recite to whichever dame I was takin out that week. He was always way nicer than me, thought it was cruel for me to string em along. Now all those poems just keep poppin into my head because they remind me of you." I laugh against him before trailing kisses up his neck until I reach his ear, I bite down playfully making him groan.

"I think you're secretly a romantic Sarge. Did you ever read Wuthering Heights?" He nods absentmindedly as he's now returning the favor by kissing and sucking at my neck. I try to remember the quote that made me think of him but I'm quickly turning into a damn puddle with the way he's making me feel. "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." The words come out breathier than I meant. Bucky pulls away and smiles softly, his flesh hand cups my cheek sweetly.

"I like that sweetheart, I like that a whole lot." Our lips meet slowly this time but no less passionately than usual. I can't help but to grind down on the growing hardness beneath me. Bucky's breath hitches and his grip on my waist tightens. "God damn, you drive me crazy. I think I'll take you right here on the couch." All I can do is moan in acceptance. He can take me absolutely anywhere he wants to. It doesn't take long long for us to both toss our clothes to unknown corners of the living room.

I lie back on the couch and pull Bucky with me. He pushes into me slowly, both of us moaning. "You feel so fucking good angel, you take me so well." My nails dig into his lower back making him hiss out in pain laced pleasure. My hips meet his thrust for thrust.

"Harder baby, please fuck me harder." He growls and I hear the whir of his vibranium arm as he clutches to the arm of the couch for leverage and gives me exactly what I want. I know I should be keeping quieter but I can't seem to stop chanting Buckys name and cursing the closer he brings me to my orgasm.

Our skin slaps together obscenely and I swear I hear the sound of fabric ripping. "You gotta cum for me, I wanna feel that sweet pussy squeezing my cock ." And that's all it takes to send me soaring, I bite into Buckys shoulder to try to muffle my scream of pleasure. He groans and thrusts hard twice more before I feel him pulsing inside me.

"That dirty mouth of yours is going to kill me James." The soldier laughs and presses a kiss to my sweaty forehead. We both sit up and stretch.

"Oh man, Steves gonna kill me." I look to where Bucky's pointing. The fabric on the arm of the couch has been effectively torn to pieces, I can see splinters of wood sticking through. We both bust up laughing. "Let's go get cleaned up and get to bed. I'll buy the punk a new couch tomorrow." We giggle like children all the way to the bathroom.

* * *

When morning rolls around Bucky and I take our time getting ready for the day and eating breakfast. He comes back to my floor with me so I can dress in a simple pair of yoga pants and loose t shirt. I figure since we are just going to be spending the day watching movies and talking I can dress casually.

We're on the third Harry Potter movie now and Bucky really seems to be enjoying it. He asks a lot of questions which is adorable, he finds it fascinating how far film making has come. Our little peaceful day takes an abrupt turn when Fridays voice comes through the speakers.

"Mr. Stark is at your door Miss Angelov." Bucky's face pales and he looks pained.

"Shit! Can you please tell Tony that I'll come meet him in my office in thirty minutes." I jump to my feet to go find more suitable clothes.

My heart drops when I hear my door unlock and swing open. Fucking Tony overthrowing my security. His voice booms out and I instinctively go to stand in front of Bucky.

"Sorry Annie, but I need to discuss some important shit and seeing as this is my…" Tony's voice trails off when he comes through the archway of my living room. His eyes first take in my tense form before they drift to the couch behind me and the man sitting there. "Why is he alone with you? He should not be around you without Rogers being here." He spits the words out between clenched teeth.

"Tony, I am completely safe with Bucky. Let's go talk in my office ok?" I take a step forward to try to get him moving. Tony laughs humorlessly.

"Safe? With him? I've seen the damage this maniac does once he gets set off, he's a fucking monster Annie, you shouldn't be alone with him." Im seeing red, this is exactly what I didn't want to happen. I hear Bucky stand up from the couch to stand beside me. His jaw is tense.

"I would never hurt her. Not in a million years." He sounds much calmer than I expected. I don't even realize I reached for his hand until I feel the metal beneath my fingertips. He looks surprised that I'm touching him in front of our current company. Tony looks between the two of us with a mixture of shock, anger, and confusion.

"What the hell is going on here?" I did not want to have this talk like this.

"Tony, we need to sit down and have a calm conversation. There are a lot of things I need to explain to you. I will not allow some horrible fight or confrontation to happen right now." He makes no sign of even hearing me other than glaring and clenching his fists. "If you care about me Ton, you will sit down and let me talk to you." His eyes seem to soften a bit but he still hasn't moved.

Friday's voice rings through the speakers again. "Miss Potts is requesting entry." I let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank God, let her in please."

Peppers heels clink across the floor quickly and before I know it she's standing on the other side of me. .

"When Friday told me where Tony was I got here as quickly as I could." Tony looks angry all over again.

"Oh, so you know what's going on here? Are you in on whatever the hell this is?" Pepper shakes her head in exasperation and goes to Tony.

"Tony, we need to sit down with Liya and Sergeant Barnes and talk." Tony scoffs at Buckys title but finally seems to concede. We all make our way to thrtable in the kitchen. Bucky and Tony both still seem poised for battle even sitting down. I scoot my chair closer to the super soldier.

"So someone want to explain why Pep here seems to know something that I don't about the going's on in my compound." God he could sound like a real dick when he wanted to.

"First of all Tony, my personal life isn't anyone's business unless I decide to share it." I don't mean to sound snippy, it really isn't going to help but I hate that tone he's using. I have to reign in my temper though, I knew this would be hard on him, I'm his counselor for god sakes. Be professional!

"Personal life? So you're spending time with The winter soldier and that somehow fits into your personal life!?" His voice is rising unnecessarily. I look to Bucky who despite being tense looks surprisingly composed.

"His name is Bucky, he is not the winter soldier anymore. You're not helping anything by being so hostile. I want to have a serious conversation so if you could please lower your voice I would really appreciate it." I try to sound calm, using my work voice.

"You're really pushing it princess. How the hell am I supposed to act composed around the guy who murdered my parents!?" Pepper puts a hand on Tony's arm.

"Ton, you have got to stop with all that. You know that wasn't really him. You gave him a chance by letting him move here, that means something. You know that he doesn't deserve to be treated like this." Pepper talks to him soothingly. She's really trying and I love her for it.

"So what am I supposed to do? Just forget it ever happened?" He doesn't sound mad anymore. He sounds tired and sad. I reach across the table and take Tony's hand in mine.

"I know you can't forget what you saw Tony, I know how difficult it is to be around Bucky because all you're seeing is the man who killed your parents. But this man sitting right here is the victim of so much pain and torture. He is not the same person who did those awful things." I hear Bucky shift beside me. His eyes are watery.

"I don't ever expect your forgiveness, I sure as hell don't deserve it. Howard was my friend…I wish I could take back. I wish I would have died when I fell off that train rather than turning into the thing that Hydra made me." His voice breaks at the end. I don't even think about it I just throw my arms around him.

"Please don't say that James, don't ever say that again. It wasn't your fault baby." The term of endearment leaves my lips unbidden.

"What the fuck did you just call him!?" Now Tony looks livid. Why did I say that? I can't seem to control myself around Bucky.

"He's my…" Bucky interrupts me with a shake of his head and a hand on my shoulder. I shrug him off of me.

"Tony, he's my soulmate." Stark is as white as a sheet. Everyone goes completely still and silent. Bucky is gaping at me in disbelief that I just out and said it. Pepper is watching her fiancé like he might snap at any moment.

Tony removes his purple tinted glasses and wipes a hand over his face, pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a loud sigh. "Of course he is. Why wouldn't he be? Am I ever going to catch a damn break?" He sounds more frustrated than angry.

"I was going to tell you today. I talked to Pepper about it yesterday, she said…that you might understand." Now Bucky looks surprised. Tony laughs in disbelief.

"I can't fault you for caring about your soul mate, but fuck do I wish it wasn't him. No offense tin man." Pepper and I both raise a brow at the fact that he gave Bucky a nick name. Tony stands and we all follow suit not knowing what to expect. "Saturday we're having a team dinner, it's mandatory. I expect you both there." I don't even know what to say right now. "This doesn't mean I forgive you, not by a long shot. This means I'm willing to call a truce and try to get to know you for Annie's sake. She's done more for me than I deserve, she's like a sister to me. And this is your one and only warning Barnes, if you hurt her in anyway I swear I'll kill you. And I'll have a whole team of avengers to back me up, you understand?" I still am not quite grasping what's going on right now.

Bucky nods in affirmation, his arms crossed across his broad chest. "If I ever hurt her, I'll let you kill me."

Pepper moves forward to hug me tight and whisper I told you so in me ear. Tony ruffles my hair affectionately with a sad smile on his face. They both leave without another word. I turn to Bucky still gaping like a fish I'm sure.

"What the hell just happened?" My super soldier just shrugs and walks back to the couch where he sits down with more grace than I'll ever have and pats the spot beside him.

"Let's finish this movie Harry Potter movie, I like that Sirius guy." A smile breaks out on my face, of course he does.


	10. Waiting for a lifetime for you

"In your eyes, I'm alive  
Inside you're beautiful  
Something so unusual  
In your eyes  
I know I'm home (yeah)  
Every tear, every fear  
Gone with the thought of you  
Changing what I thought I knew  
I'll be yours for a thousand lives

I'm free as a bird  
When I'm flying in your cage  
I'm diving in deep  
And I'm riding with no brakes  
And I'm bleeding in love  
You're swimming in my veins  
You got me now"

For you by Liam Payne and Rita Ora

Chapter 10

Bucky and I spend the next few days in absolute bliss. Lots of movies to catch him up on, lots of laughter, and more sex than I think I've ever had in my life. At the end of each night we make it a point to talk about the past, he shares tidbits of information with me that he can remember from

His and Steve's younger years and we work up to the tough stuff. It's hard for him to speak of his time in Russia, about his time as the winter soldier. I do my best to help him a long and comfort him as best I can. I swear everyday he starts to remember more, every time something comes back to him he shares it with me. Despite how difficult some of it is he trusts me with his darkest thoughts and memories. I wonder if it's the soul mate bond between us?

The night before our friends are due back from their mission we try to get to sleep early. We know we'll be spending it with Steve and Nat before we have to go to the stress inducing dinner with the team. I fall asleep quickly after an absolutely mind blowing orgasm. Since I've been sleeping next to Bucky I've been more restful and he says he has been too. I'm surprised that it's me that breaks first.

* * *

"It's time to come out and play little girl. If you're good I'll buy you something real nice."

I'm hiding in the closet this time, I know he'll find me but I have to try to hide. It's my tenth birthday and my birthdays are always worse than usual. My hands are clasped over my mouth to try to muffle my breathing.

The door creaks open slowly. He's smiling down at me with that cruel wicked smile. His hands wrap around my ankles painfully and he tugs me out of my hiding spot. Tears blur my vision. I try not to make a sound this time when he lands the first blow, I won't give him the satisfaction.

"You're growing up so much little mouse. Let me see just how pretty you are." Now I can't hold back the screams.

* * *

"Doll! Wake up!" I can't stop screaming. I lash out violently, trying to tear at whatever is beneath my fingertips. "Sweetheart, it's me. Stop it Liya!" It's the feel of cool metal wrapping firmly around my wrist that snaps me out it. My vision clears and the man in front of me isn't who I thought it was.

Bucky is holding onto my wrists in a tight grip. His blue eyes are frantic and searching. Four scratches, angry and bleeding cover his left cheek.

"Oh God Bucky. I'm so sorry." Sobs wrack my body uncontrollably. He let's go of my wrists and pulls me into his warm chest. Arms wrap securely around me, his flesh hand brushes soothingly through my hair.

"Shh angel, don't cry. I've got you, I'm not goin anywhere." I can't believe that I hurt him. I haven't had a nightmare since I've been with him. I try to control my breathing and pull back to look at Buckys face. He looks so worried for me.

"I am so sorry that I hurt you. I should have warned you that my nightmares are bad sometimes. How could I have been so stupid? You probably think that I'm crazy, and I'm the one that's supposed to be helping you and look at what I've done." I'm no longer crying but I sound pathetic. I can't remember the last time I felt so ashamed.

"Hey, you're not stupid or crazy so just stop with all that. You didn't mean to hurt me and the serum probably healed me up by now. Sweetheart, I'm yours and you're mine, we're supposed to help each other, so talk to me please." I don't want to burden him though, he's been through so much, he doesn't need all of my shit on top of it. The searching look in his eyes makes me break though. He deserves to hear about me after all he's told me about himself.

"My father died in a car accident when I was an infant. My mother didn't handle it well and turned to drugs and alcohol, because of that the men she attracted were never the best. She got married to a man named Phillip when I was five. He was cruel, he used to beat my mother whenever he got too drunk, then he started to beat me. I would always try to hide, of course he always found me. As I got older the beatings escalated…he hurt me in a lot of ways. My mom just let it happen, she knew what he was doing when he would stumble into my room at night and she just let it happen." The sound of Buckys metal limb stops me speaking for a moment. His fist is clenched, he looks furious. He nods for me to continue.

"Eventually I couldn't deal with it anymore. I'd started taking self defense classes with one of my friends I'd confided in. I was a scrawny little thing when I was twelve but my anger definitely gave me some strength, I fought Phillip off when he got particularly drunk and violent one night. I broke my lamp over his head and ran. I lived on the streets for over a year, jumping from shelter to shelter. They don't ask too many questions in the shadier parts of the city, it didn't matter how old I was. I used to get into fights a lot, one time I got jumped by a man in an alley. He had a knife to my throat and I managed to get it from him. It was a lot harder to stab someone than I thought it would be. I didn't know that there was someone watching us until an arrow struck my attacker straight through the eye. Clint Barton told me that if I was going to play with knives that I may as well learn how to use them. He rescued me that day and he brought me home. He hired me tutors and put me through school while he trained me in combat, he raised me even though he was just a young man himself. I got my degree in psychology and also talked Clint into letting me meet his boss. Shield recruited me the second they learned of my existence. Then Nat came into my life because Clint saved her too. We were like a dysfunctional little family, Clint the big brother I never had and Natasha the sister and best friend I always wanted. I didn't get to have a real childhood and I learned from a young age how to be a spy. I've hurt people…I've killed people. I did a lot of things that I thought were right but really weren't. We didn't know that Hydra was in charge, but how couldn't we? So many missions that just felt wrong, that felt off. After all I've been through and all I've overcome I still ended up being that naïve little girl that used to hide away in the closet." I don't realize I'm crying again until I feel Bucky wiping away my tears. He's so gentle with me.

"Doll…I wish I could take away all the pain you're feeling. I hate that any of that happened to you. I want to tear the man apart who hurt you like that. As for everything else, you can't blame yourself for what happened with Hydra. None of you knew and that's exactly what they wanted. If you can look me in the eyes everyday and tell me that I'm not a monster, that it wasn't me, that I didn't know what I was doing then how the hell can you blame yourself? You're a damn angel Liya. You've given me a reason to want to live." Now he sounds choked up. This beautiful, strong, brave man has done exactly for me what he says I've done for him.

"I know it's way too fast and you're probably going to run for the hills after I say this but, I think I'm in love with you Bucky Barnes." I've never seen a smile more genuine than the one that lights up my soldiers face.

"Oh sweetheart, I loved you the first time I ever dreamt of you. I love you so much." I laugh through my tears and throw myself into his arms. Our lips meet passionately and despite how wet with my tears we both are it's absolutely perfect.

This time when sleep takes me there are no nightmares. There's only warmth and dreams of the future I know I'm going to build with Bucky by my side.

* * *

It's late morning when I eventually wake up. Surprisingly for the first time ever I'm up before Bucky. I roll out of bed quietly and gently, guess there's still some use for that stealthy spy training after all. Bucky shifts a little but continues to snooze. I don't bother to put any clothes on because I just plan on making a quick trip to the bathroom and then getting back in bed for some wonderful naked cuddling with the ridiculously sexy man laying in my bed.

I'm about to open the bathroom door when I hear a loud crunching sound coming from my living room behind me. I whip around ready to fight regardless of my lack of clothing. I have weapons hidden everywhere, if I have no other choice though I can do without.

"Nice ass." Instead of a former enemy I'm greeted by the smirking face of my best friend who is casually perched on the arm of my couch munching on an apple. She looks gorgeous as usual despite the fact that she has a few fresh bruises on her face.

"Why the hell do you always have to break in? You seriously were about five seconds from getting shot or stabbed Nat." Her perfect eyebrow lifts and she tips her head in contemplation while eyeing me up and down.

"Unless you're hiding a weapon somewhere really uncomfortable I highly doubt you could have attacked me before I would have killed you." I scoff at her response and shake my head.

A throat clears loudly behind me. Bucky is wearing a pair of sweats and his black t shirt from look on his face is pretty comical, I think he's in disbelief that I'm standing in front of Natasha butt ass naked. He unceremoniously removes his shirt and tosses it to me, he has an undershirt on still. The shirt is long enough to cover my ass at least.

"You must be losing your touch Barnes, I can't believe I was able to sneak in here without you knowing." He tenses up at that and shoots the red head a glare.

"If there was a real threat I would have heard it before it ever walked through that door." He's using his cold unfeeling voice again, the one he uses whenever he's speaking to anyone who isn't Steve or I. It makes me sad. Natasha just stares blankly at the super soldier.

"Speaking of threats, I believe I owe you one Barnes." Oh Jesus Christ. Natasha rises gracefully from the arm of the couch and stands directly in front of Bucky, definitely close enough to make him uncomfortable which is what she wants.

"Nat you don't need to give Bucky the shovel talk, Tony beat you to it." She laughs in that raspy way of hers but continues to stare down the man in front of her.

"Liya I am so much more intimidating than Tony Stark. Not to mention I'm infinitely more patient and creative." She kind of had a point honestly. "You hurt her and I will use all those nifty little tricks that I learned from you to destroy your life. Understand?" Just like he did with Tony he nods his head in understanding.

"I love her Natalia, the last thing I want to do is hurt her." My heart clenches at his words. A small but genuine smile lights up Nat's face.

"Good, I'm happy for you. I'm happy for both of you." She lets out an oof sound when I squeeze her tightly. When I pull away my friends nose is wrinkled up.

"Go take a damn shower, you smell like sex and just Barnes in general." I'm surprised the stoic soldier chuckles at that rather than looking mortified like Steve would. He's less of an old fashioned man than Cap is.

"Fuck off Nat. I'll see you later at dinner. Stop breaking in or I'm going to start setting traps." I take Bucky's hand in mine and lead him to the bathroom with me.

"Well that was interesting." I snort out a laugh and fling Bucky's shirt off of me, I can feel his eyes on me while he undresses. I adjust the temperature of the shower and climb in with my soldier not far behind.

Doesn't take long before Bucky can't keep his hands to himself. The hard length of him is pressed between us. Warm lips trail down my neck while I try to rinse out my hair. "Why don't you turn around for me sweetheart?" He wants to take me from behind and honestly it sounds heavenly but more than anything I want to do something for him that he surprisingly hasn't let me do yet.

He looks confused when I push him back against the wall of the shower, I love how much he trusts me though because honestly I couldn't move the man unless he allowed me to. Those steel blue eyes of his widen as I sink to my knees in front of him. I let my hands drag slowly up his legs, maintaining eye contact the whole time. "Y-you don't have to do that." This man has screwed me six ways to Sunday but he feels bad about letting me do this? Really?

"I know I don't have to but I want to Sarge. I've seriously had dreams about it so be a good boy and let me suck your cock." Already lust blown eyes darken even further at my words. I wrap a hand around his length and lick a long stripe from base to tip before taking the head of his dick into my mouth.

"Fuck Liya." He moans lowly, his vibranium hand takes purchase in my hair. I slowly take him down my throat, licking at the underside of his cock while swallowing around him. He can't seem to keep small sounds of pleasure from escaping him. His grip on my hair tightens when I gag a little around him when I take almost his whole length down. God he's a pretty sight with his head thrown back and eyes clenched shut. I can tell he's wanting me to go faster than my leisurely pace I've intentionally set to get a reaction out of him, he's clenching his first and still trying not to tug on my hair too harshly. I pull back with a pop and his eyes immediately meet mine.

"C'mon baby, use me." The sound that leaves him is a mixture between a growl and whine and so unbelievably sexy. This time when I take him in my mouth he tightens that metal hand in my hair almost enough to hurt and guides me exactly how he wants. He thrusts his hips in time with my bobbing head. I'm swallowing around him expertly and not even gagging. My name is leaving his lips like a prayer as he fucks my face and I really could die a happy woman right now.

I'm so turned on that I can't help but to sink two fingers into my dripping heat, I'm so close already. I moan loudly around his cock. "God, you're so sexy. Fuck yourself doll, cum all over your fingers." I follow his sinfully commanding voice and fall apart. The vibrations from my moaning and the fact that I just brought myself to orgasm has him pulsing in my mouth. He thrusts as deep as he can go, swearing loudly as he cums down my throat.

Bucky sinks to shower floor as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. He's smiling all dopey looking completely blissed out.

"You should be proud of yourself for that, it was incredible." I laugh loudly and he joins in. God, I love this man.

* * *

After we've dressed and eaten breakfast we make our way back to his and Steve's floor. "Honey, we're home!" I yell obnoxiously as we walk through the door. A freshly showered Steve Rogers is standing at the kitchen counter pouring himself a cup of coffee. He smiles at the sight of us. The blonde expects my embrace and wraps his arms tightly around me in return. "Missed you Stevie." He returns my sentiment and he and Bucky do some weird shoulder pat man thing that makes me grin.

"So one of you want to explain to me why I've got a new couch?" I'm instantly doubled over in laughter. Bucky just awkwardly combs a hand through his hair looking bashful. The new couch which honestly is nicer and bigger than the old one was delivered yesterday. Steve seems very confused by our reactions and I can't miss out on a chance to mortify him and potentially embarrass Bucky.

"Well you see Stevie I happen to like it rough and your poor couch just couldn't withstand that sexy vibranium arm of Bucky's and honestly you wouldn't have wanted that thing after we were done even if we wouldn't have broken it." Mission accomplished, Steve chokes on his coffee and Bucky is groaning into his hands.

"I really did not need to know any of that! Seriously Buck, you couldn't take her back to your bedroom? You had to defile and break our couch? You two are unbelievable!" I'm only laughing harder now even as Bucky glares at me.

"I'm sorry and I promise it won't happen again Cap, I'll drag him away to his bedroom or my place next time I can't keep my hands to myself. The new couch is my apology for letting things get out of hand." He just rolls his eyes and goes and takes a seat on the new comfier couch. Bucky sits at the opposite end and I plop down in between the two super soldiers.

"I'm just happy for the two of you even though you're obviously a couple of perverts." I elbow the blonde playfully.

"It's all her Steve, she's stolen my virtue and is leading me down a path of sin." I snort at the ridiculousness of that statement.

"I'm not even going to respond to that. Tell me about your mission Stevie." The Captain starts speaking animatedly about what he and Sam and Natasha has gotten themselves into and how smoothly things went as they usually do when the three of them team up together.

Bucky takes my hand in his and the three of us continue on our day enjoying each other's company as we wait for the evening ahead.


	11. Ashes in my wake

"When I was a child, I heard voices  
Some would sing and some would scream  
You soon find you have few choices  
I learned the voices died with me

When I was a child, I'd sit for hours  
Staring into open flame  
Something in it had a power  
Could barely tear my eyes away

All you have is your fire  
And the place you need to reach  
Don't you ever tame your demons

But always keep 'em on a leash" Arsonists Lullaby by Hozier

Chapter 11

"It's going to be just fine Sarge. I'm with you till the end of the line." Bucky snorts our a laugh and presses a kiss to my temple.

"Now you're recycling my old lines?" I slip my gladiator sandals on to go with my low plunging bohemian style maxi dress, Bucky can't seem to keep his eyes off my cleavage.

"Worked for Stevie, but I think I'll let that line be your guys's thing, would hate to come between the bromance." This time he slaps my ass just before I straighten up.

I don't know what it is about dark jeans and a white v neck on this man that has me nearly drooling. When he pulls on a tight black leather jacket I seriously almost go weak in the knees.

"Are you intentionally trying to look so good that I don't let you leave this bedroom? Because it's almost working." That lady killer smile spreads across his handsome face.

"If you're going to make me endure the torture of all this social interaction than I'm at the very least going to make you sweat sweetheart." My glare must not be very intimidating because he just pulls me in for a kiss that's hot enough to leave me breathless than starts leading me towards the elevator.

Both of us take a deep breath before we step out onto the communal floor we use for movie nights, meetings, and big dinners. I grasp Bucky's metal hand in my own as we walk towards the loud voices of our friends in the dining room.

Of course everyone grows quiet when we come into view. Tony and Pepper are seated at the head of the table, he shoots me a tight smile and Pep waves. Peter, Wanda, Vision, Sam, Rhodey, Steve, and Natasha are all already at the table. Sharon is surprisingly missing which I'll have to ask Steve about later.

"Hey kid." The voice behind me immediately has me turning around. I haven't seen Clint Barton in six months and seeing him now smiling widely with his arms stretched out in invitation has me tearing up.

I launch myself into his arms and sniffle against his chest. "I missed you asshole. Don't ever go on vacation without me again." He rubs my back affectionately then pulls away.

"Missed you too Liya. Laura and the kids want you to come visit soon." I tell him I'll come to see them soon.

Bucky is still standing stiffly where I left him. When I hold my hand out to him he joins Clint and I. I think he's surprised I continue to hold his hand, running my thumb over his vibranium knuckles.

"I think you two met briefly before right?" Clint eyes our linked hands before breaking out into a broad grin.

"Yea, fought together at the airport. So you guys boyfriend and girlfriend now?" Oh Clint, blunt as ever. How exactly do I answer that anyway? Bucky squeezes my hand and smiles down at me. I'm surprised when he's the one who speaks up.

"Boyfriend and girlfriend sounds a little juvenile especially considering how strongly I feel about Aneliya, but yes, she's my girl." As I've said before I don't typically blush but damn this man has me turning red. My face lights up at his sweet words, I never thought Bucky would be open about his feelings to someone else. Maybe it's because he knows what Clint means to me.

The archer claps the former assassin on the shoulder, he's still grinning. "Good man Barnes. Haven't seen Liya interested in anyone in ten years and then I get a call from Nat telling me she's found her soulmate, glad it's someone I know can look out for her." Rather than being insulted by Clint insisting that I need looked after I'm overjoyed by his acceptance of our relationship. I would have been devastated if Clint didn't approve.

"If you guys can all stop being mushy and sit down for dinner that'd be great! I slaved over this meal." I roll my eyes at Tony's loud voice. I take a seat next to Natasha with Bucky beside me. Clint sits directly across from me beside Steve and Sam.

"So by slaved over this meal you really mean you told Friday to call a Mexican restaurant and order takeout?" Tony flips me off but smirks nonetheless. Bucky seems overwhelmed by all the choices so I tell him a few of my favorites and he stacks his plate high.

I'm starting to wonder why the hell I was so nervous about this dinner to begin with. Everyone seems to be going out of there way to involve Bucky in their conversations, no one is treating him any differently than anyone else.

Everything is going so well…until it's not."Boss, my security protocols have been compromised on this level." Friday's voice is enough to launch us all to our feet. What the hell did that mean? The elevator dings before any of us can grab weapons. I'm pushed roughly behind Bucky. Seriously? He doesn't think I can defend myself? The familiar sound of slow steady boot clad footsteps echoes on the hard wood. Dressed as usual in black from head to toe is Nick Fury. My stomach drops, nothing good can come from a visit from Nick Fury, even though he was no longer the director of Shield it didn't exactly stop him from handing out missions like it was still his job.

"You can't just gate crash a team dinner Fury. I am tired of people overriding my security." Tony sounds as annoyed as we're all feeling.

"I had a feeling no one would answer my phone calls." He's not wrong, I sure as hell wouldn't answer. "Barton, Romanoff, Angelov I need to have a word with you three." And my stomach drops even further. Bucky still hasn't moved from in front of me. I step around him and stare in disdain at the man that was no longer my boss.

"No way. I am not an agent anymore Nick." He lets out s deep sigh but seems I surprised.

"It wasn't a question. I need to speak to you three now." Bucky moves to take a step forward but Steve is at his side in an instant holding him back with a hand to his shoulder.

"We got a problem here soldier?" He says it in that condescending half hostile way that Nick Fury is known for. Before this can escalate into something awful I walk to the former directors side with Natasha and Clint. I smile tightly at Bucky trying to reassure him that I'll be ok but he looks angry and worried.

The three of us follow Nick out onto the balcony taking a seat at one of the bistro style tables we sometimes had meals at when it's nice out. Fury pulls out a phone and projects the image of a cruel looking middle aged man."Look familiar?" The three of us nod.

"Radko Kozlek. Bulgarian billionaire, arms dealer, and drug kingpin posing as a legitimate businessman. He's based out of Sofia. Six years ago you had Aneliya and I find our way into his ranks. Barton had to come in and extract us because we found out he was getting involved in human trafficking and had taken too much of a liking to us." Kozlek was an intense man and one of the few people to ever make my skin crawl. He was sadistic even with his own men.

"Turns out Mr. Kozlek is now dealing Hydra weapons as well as manufacturing them, his people are kidnapping and experimenting on enhanced individuals. It's one of the last Hydra cells

I've come across." Of course the sick bastard was involved with Hydra.

"What do you want from us Nick?" I'm cutting straight to the chase because I know for a fact I don't like where this is headed.

"I want to send you back to Sofia. I want you to rejoin his ranks and I need Barton and Romanoff there in case things get dicey again. They're the Avengers now, they can't take point on this, even under her old disguise there's too high of a chance they'd recognize Romanoff."

I laugh in complete disbelief.

"Are you fucking kidding me? It took four months to safely get us out of there, to make up enough excuses and cover our tracks enough to get out without bringing suspicion upon ourselves. You were concerned for our safety back then before he was involved with Hydra and now you expect me, an ex agent to just jump headfirst into this? I don't fucking think so Nick. I don't do that anymore, I don't work for you anymore." There's no way in hell he really thought I'd be on board with this. I stand with every intention of storming away when Nicks voice stops me.

"What if I told you one of the men working with Kozlek was named Dima Karpov?" The last name stops me in my tracks. I slowly turn back to glare at Nick.

"Karpov…like Vasily Karpov?" I say the name between gritted teeth. He's trying to manipulate me, I've seen it a million times.

"His brother. He was HIS handler too." My urge to vomit is almost as strong as my urge to punch Nick Fury in the face.

"Whose handler?" Clint must not have read all the leaked files. He had more of a life outside of this craziness than anyone else did though.

"The Winter Soldiers." Natasha sounds as indifferent as usual but there's a hard edge to the look she's shooting Nicks way.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa man. You gotta stop with that manipulative bullshit Fury. You really going to try to use her relationship with Barnes to get your way? How do you even know about that anyway?" Clint's just trying to look out for me and I love him for it. Nick Fury always knows what's going on with everyone. He has eyes everywhere, even now when he had no right to.

"What do you think James Barnes would do if I told him about Karpov?" That's his play. If I don't do what he wants he'll tell Bucky that Dima Karpov is alive and where he is. He'll throw Bucky out into the field. He'll destroy his progress, he'll risk triggering everything Shuri deprogrammed. He'll put him in danger.

"I used to respect you Nick, I used to look up to. Even after all the bullshit with Shield and Hydra I still didn't blame you. I figured hey even Nick Fury can make mistakes and misjudge people, guess he's really human after all. But what you're asking of me…what you're threatening shows me just the kind of man you really are. You're pissed that you got outsmarted, you're embarrassed by how blind you were so you think now dealing with the fallout of all of that by any means necessary is going to redeem you? It's bullshit. It's all bullshit. I am not an agent anymore and Bucky sure as hell isnt. The only thing you would accomplish by telling him about Karpov is potentially destroying the life he's finally beginning to build for himself. You will not use my love for him to bend me to your will. I would kill you before I allow you even the possibility of hurting him. You say one more word about this and I will go inside and bring Steve Rogers out here and tell him exactly what it is you've said to me and about his best friend." I'm shaking I'm so upset and infuriated. How dare he?

The man only smirks back at me, it's a little unnerving. "I can respect that, you've always spoken your mind. Don't think this won't come back to bite you in the ass later though. You think when the world finds out that Barnes is back out in the world, and an avenger none the less, that all those former Hydra members won't be after him?" What the hell is his problem?

"Bucky isn't an avenger." He continues to smirk at me, Natasha who's usually very good at hiding her emotions is shifting nervously.

"You think the American government or any other government for that matter would allow a man like him to freely live here without there being conditions? They expect cooperation, they expect him to be put to work for the right side this time." I'm again resisting the urge to throw up. "You think he was going to just live in this compound forever playing house with you? He'll start getting the itch soon, Rogers will need his help and he'll jump on it in a second. Even before he was the winter soldier he was still a soldier." I think I hate him in this moment.

"That doesn't mean he needs to get thrown into something that he isn't ready for. He needs to take time to get used to the world again, he needs to feel normal, he needs to train. I want him to make the choice. I won't let you force his hand." Of course I didn't expect him to never fight again, I'm sure he will want to be by Steve's side eventually but I don't want him to be ruled by his emotions and go after Hydra just for revenge, he has to be ready for it

"And what will you do when he gets back out there? Will you sit here and wait for him to come home? Will someone like you be able to sit back and let him risk his life when you could be out there helping?" I've known this man for so long and never once has he spoken to me this way or treated me quite like this.

"I was a spy, I'm not an avenger. I can fight but I'm not even as good as Natasha. I'd be a liability. What I'm doing now is what Im passionate about and it helps more people than being a Shield agent ever did. Let me live my life Nick, when Bucky is ready he can choose for himself what he wants to do." I don't give him another chance to draw me into conversation. I get up and walk away leaving Clint and Natasha to keep speaking to him. What they do is their own business but I belong to myself now.

Bucky is still standing next to Steve but he visibly relaxes when he sees me come back in. The rest of the table is relatively quiet.

"So, What was all that about Annie?" Tony breaks the odd silence.

"Fury wanted me to take a mission, I turned him down. Not my job anymore." Tony raises a questioning brow but lets it drop.

"You ok?" Bucky pulls me close to him, wrapping his arms around me comfortingly. I lay my head against his chest and let the sound of his heartbeat calm me. Really his presence in general brings me peace.

"It is so weird seeing you act like this Barnes." The former assassin just stares at Sam blankly.

"I think they compliment each other very well." Wanda smiles brightly at us. She has always been so kind to me.

"Enough of all that. Dr. Feel Good and Capsicle can I talk to you guys for a sec?"

What the hell does Tony want? I've had enough of this crap for the night. Steve and I stay standing where we are.

"Oh cmon mom and dad, the Manchurian Candidate can fend for himself for a few minutes."

Bucky squeezes my hand in reassurance.

"I'm fine, I'll go sit by Wilson's annoying ass." He's really trying. I press a kiss to his cheek and proceed to follow Steve and Tony to the meeting room.

"It would be great if people could stop dragging me away for secret meetings." I cross my arms in front of me and stare down Tony who is seated across from Steve.

"Secrets is exactly what I want to talk about. What does Fury want? I could tell you didn't want to say anything in front of your boy toy." Uhg, seriously?

"And you wanted Steve here why exactly?" Not that I mind him being there, he actually makes me more comfortable.

"First of all because it makes it look like we are talking about something important if I needed both of you and not just because I wanted to grill you about Fury. Secondly because the only reason you wouldn't want Barnes to know what he said is because it pertains to him…and since Captain Righteousness is as obsessed with the Tin-man as you are I figured it may be a good idea to let him in on it." I was planning on telling Stevie but I don't want to hide anything from Bucky.

"He wants me to go undercover in Bulgaria. Natasha and I had a mission together years ago infiltrating the ranks of an arms dealer, he was a real piece of work. Clint had to come pull us out because things got a little frightening for us when the man started getting involved with trafficking. Turns out the guys is running a Hydra base and is working with one of Buckys former handlers, the brother of Vasily Karpov. They're conducting experiments, like what happened with Wanda and her brother." Steve stiffens beside me.

"Jesus, well we cant let something like that go. We'll have to stop them. We've been taking out all the leftover Hydra cells." Tony is right of course.

"I don't disagree. I just don't want Bucky involved and I'm not an agent anymore." Steve nods his head.

"I don't want him involved either, he's not ready for this. But I don't want to lie to him." Yea me either Steve.

"So we give him the bare minimum. Might be a Hydra base that needs taken out, we don't bring up Karpov. Why the hell would Fury need to send you in anyway? Why wouldn't he just come to the Avengers? All we've been doing lately is taking out the remnants of Hydra." Tony's idea is probably for the best but I still hate that I'll be hiding something. And before I can answer his question Steve beats me to it.

"He needs some kind of information. He's still compartmentalizing. He knows if we go in their guns blazing that they'll destroy whatever it is he needs before he can retrieve it. Liya was one of his agents, like Natasha. She was a spy and damn good at getting whatever information she needed." That's exactly why I'm assuming he wanted to send me in undercover.

"That's not going to fly anymore. Shield is pretty much nonexistent now, he doesn't get to be the boss of any of us. I'll help in anyway I can but I am not going out into the field anymore. If Bucky decides he wants that later on down the road I won't stop him but he needs to be completely ready for that." My goal is still to help Bucky as much as I can.

"You know I'm still not one hundred percent on board with Barnes but I want you to be happy Annie. I sure as hell don't want him to go off the rails again." None of us do. The winter soldier is gone, the trigger words are useless but that doesn't mean all the pain and darkness from

Buckys past are gone.

"We'll take care of this Liya. You take care of Bucky." Why do I have such a bad feeling about this? Am I just worrying too much?

The three of us rejoin our friends. Tony tells them he needed our input on something that only we would understand. Surprisingly no one usually questions Starks eccentricities and vague explanations.. Natasha and Clint are back at the table, Nick is nowhere in sight. Bucky is talking to Clint about something, he's even smiling a bit.

When I sit back down Bucky takes my hand in his without turning away from his conversation with Clint. I'm so proud of him in this moment. He really has a shot at some normalcy. Please don't let all of that crumble because of the past not staying where it belongs.


	12. Don't threaten me with a good time

"I'm a scholar and a gentleman  
And I usually don't fall when I try to stand  
I lost a bet to a guy in a Chiffon skirt  
But I make these high heels work  
I've told you time and time again  
I'm not as think as you drunk I am  
And we all fell down when the sun came up  
I think we've had enough

Alright, alright, it's a hell of a feeling though  
It's a hell of a feeling though  
Alright, alright, it's a hell of a feeling though  
It's a hell of a feeling though

Champagne, cocaine, gasoline  
And most things in between  
I roam the city in a shopping cart  
A pack of camels and a smoke alarm

This night is heating up  
Raise hell and turn it up  
Saying "If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe"  
Oh yeah, don't threaten me with a good time"

Chapter 12

The next morning I'm surprised to have yet again woken up before by Bucky. I shower quickly in his bathroom and throw on some comfy clothes. Steve is sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee and spacing out. He smiles at me when I sit down beside him.

"Ya know when we were growing up together I'd always get so annoyed by all the girls coming out of Buckys room in the morning. It was always a different girl with no sense and I thought Buck was such a dog. Now I see you walking out here and I couldn't be happier." Steve is such a marshmallow and I love him to death.

"Well he's stuck with me now. I really love him Stevie." He looks almost happier than I do. I remember the question I need to ask him. "Where was Sharon last night?" The smile wipes from his face. He brushes a hand through his blonde hair before turning his eyes back to me.

"We…uh…we aren't seeing each other anymore. It just didn't feel right. I think I wanted the normalcy of having a relationship more than I actually wanted the relationship with her. I know that's horrible. Especially when I was so sure at first, but there just wasn't any passion there." I reach out and take my friends hand and smile reassuringly at him.

"Steve, I think it's great that you acknowledged that it didn't feel right and ended it. You're the type of guy that in the past may have just toughed it out regardless of your own happiness. I'm proud of you honestly. Was she very hurt?" He shakes his head.

"No, the feeling was mutual, and we agreed to stay friends." That's more than most people who break up can do.

"I always liked Sharon but never thought she was right for you. Now there's a certain deadly red head that I think is right up your alley though." His sky blue eyes roll and he chuckles.

"Don't even start with the whole Natasha thing again Liya. She is one of my best friends and maybe just a little out of my league." Pfft has he looked at himself? And he's one of the sweetest men I've ever met.

"When are ya gonna get it through that thick head of yours that you're Captain fucking America punk? Ain't no one out of your league." James Barnes comes waltzing our of the bedroom freshly showered with his damp hair and black v neck and dark jeans that fit so nicely I can barely handle. He leans down and presses his lips to mine before sitting in the chair beside me.

"Sounds like the Brooklyn in you is coming back full force Sarge." Bucky chuckles and nuzzles into my neck. He's such a goof ball with me sometimes.

"Don't go callin me that in front of Stevie babydoll, ya know what it does to me." He nips at my neck making me yelp. The smile on his face is smug when he pulls away.

"You two are sickening, seriously. I almost preferred the brooding to this." Bucky and I laugh at our friends playful tone. "Can I pry you away from your girl long enough to get in a decent workout? Sams coming and I know how much you love to show him up." I roll my eyes at that. I don't know what the deal is with Bucky and Sam. They are constantly trying to outdo the other, like theyre fighting for the title of Steve's best friend. But honestly you can tell they kind of like each other.

"Hell yea. I'm feeling restless anyway, gotta get rid of some of this energy. Someone wasn't in bed when I woke up so I missed out on the usual workout." Bucky winks dramatically. He could be a real cheeky guy when he wanted to.

"Uhg,I don't need to know his stuff Buck! Go change and we'll get goin." My soldier presses a kiss to my temple and heads towards the bedroom.

"I'm going to go pay a visit to my favorite Avenger. She might be even prettier than you Cap. Want me to tell her you say hi?" Steve shoots me the finger which is very unpatriotic of him. I laugh and make my way back to mine and Natasha's floor.

* * *

I'm actually nice enough to inform her that I'm coming so that she can let me in. She's dressed pretty similarly to me in yoga pants and a tank top.

"Where's the geriatric with the cybernetic arm that's usually lurking behind you?" I scoff and shake my head at her.

"He's heading down to the gym to work out with the other old man and Sammy boy" Nat is busy using the blender for some reason. "Are you making margaritas at ten a.m.?" I peek over her shoulder and she is indeed making margaritas.

"With how rarely I get a day off, hell yea I'm day drinking. You are joining me since it's the weekend." I shrug my shoulders and take the delicious tequila filled drink she offers me.

"So I think that you need to screw Stevie's brains out now that he's single and you two are obviously meant to be." I actually manage to make the black widow choke on her drink, I'm proud of myself.

"What the hell Liya? You know I don't do relationships and Rogers is so not the type to hit it and quit it." He's definitely not.

"You're not in the red room anymore Nat, you're allowed to have feelings. You had feelings for Bruce, and I know that didn't work out but Steve isn't him. Your guys's chemistry is undeniable and he'd be exactly the kind of guy your crazy ass needs." They would be adorable together.

"Steve deserves some normalcy. He deserves a wife and kids and a white picket fence and a damn golden retriever. I can't give him that." Funny that she's not saying it's because she doesn't care about him.

"Steve doesn't want normal and you know it. He'd go crazy with normal. Just think about it ok?" She just glared and rolls her eyes.

An hour and a half later and I have no idea how many margaritas we've already gone through. Needless to say we are both pretty tipsy before noon.

"What the hell are those idiots doing? They all have banging bodies so do they really need to work out for this long?" I'm laying upside down on the couch, my head handing off the cushions and my feet draped over the back.

"They spend at least an hour running, they probably haven't even been actually working out for that long. Let's go break up their party." I like the words that are coming out of her mouth even if they're slurred slightly. We both sway a little when we jump up to our feet.

Nat rarely lets herself get drunk so I'm surprised she's as wobbly as me. We laugh and stumble to the elevator. It's hard to keep our composure as we pass some employees on the lower levels. Most people are scared of Natasha and the ones who knew who I was before I became a counselor are a little intimidated by me too so they mostly stay out of the way.

We sneak as well as we can into the gym to find Steve and Bucky sparring, Sam is off to the side cheering Steve on. Both men are dressed in under armour, Steve in a great shirt and short and Bucky in black. I didn't think it was possible for either of them to sweat but they are. Maybe it's because they're pretty evenly matched. It's kind of beautiful to watch them fighting, trading punches and jabs and kicks, ducking and evading each other. Like an elaborate dance.

"Gotta say, I'm a little turned on." My voice is louder than I meant it to be and Natasha laughs uncharacteristically loud. The men stop their fighting and watch us trip over ourselves to get over to them.

"Are you guys drunk?" It's barely noon!" Sam looks amused despite his statement.

"Shh Sammy, we are celebrating a work free day." I sling my arm around Natasha's shoulder and smile brightly.

"Don't think I've ever seen ya like this doll." Bucky wipes his face with the bottom of his shirt, showing his gleaming abs for a minute.

"Have I ever told you how sexy you are babe?" Bucky smirks in that smug way of his, Steve groans, and Sam laughs loudly.

"Yea maybe once or twice. Don't ever get sick of hearin it though." I really have no impulse control right now so I walk as smoothly as possible over to that sexy man of mine and wrap my arms around his middle. "I'm a little sweaty right now sweetheart. Might wanna let me hit the shower before you go clingin to me like that." He chuckles when I tangle my hands in his damp hair and pull him down to kiss me. He doesn't protest though even when I push my tongue into his mouth.

"Really guys? Last thing I need to see is you two getting down and dirty in here." Bucky pulls away chuckling and I glare at Sam.

"Can't say I blame her. You are all looking mighty fine right now. Think it's only partly because of the tequila." The boys all laugh at Natasha's words.

"Think we need to go party with these girls. Sounds way better than getting my ass beat by you two super sadists." I'm totally down with Sammy's plan.

"Except we can't get drunk." Damnit.

"Starks got some of that Asgardian liquor. Steve got a buzz the last time we all drank together." Ooo I perk up at Natasha's words. A drunk Steve and Bucky sounds like a blast.

"I'm calling him." Bucky looks unsure as I lift my phone to my ear.

"What's up Annie?" Tony sounds like he's eating.

"I need the Asgardian shit that can get Stevie drunk. Can I please come grab it Ton?" I drag out the please dramatically.

"Are you day drinking without me? That is unacceptable. Get your asses upstairs immediately." He actually sounds offended.

"That hot ass man of mine is with me though and his presence is absolutely required Anthony. So if you're going to be a dick head I can't come get sloshed with you." He snorts at me for whatever reason.

"You're even stranger than usual when you've been drinking Dr. Feelgood. I already told you I called a truce so bring Fullmetal with you too." I'm so impressed by Tony right now.

"Wait, you watch anime? How the hell do you know who the fullmetal alchemist is?" He laughs.

"Shut up and get upstairs Annie." He hangs up before I can respond. Bucky is smiling all toothy for some reason, god he's beautiful.

"Your hot ass man huh?" I did say that didn't I?

"Yes sir. It's kinda hard to look at you without climbing you like a tree. Especially right now." I swear he blushes just a little. He runs his hand through his hair and even looks a little bashful.

"You better get upstairs with Stark before I drag you into the showers with me. Steve, bird brain, and I will meet you up there when we're done getting cleaned up." I pout a little while Sam insults Bucky for calling him bird brain.

"Cmon reaper lets go get wasted with Tony. I'll text the rest of the gang too." I let Nat drag me after her.

* * *

Tony has set out a beautiful array of alcohol in our communal living area. I plop down on one of the plush brown sofas.

"Here honey, have a screwdriver." Tony sounds chipper as he hands me the orange drink. He hands Nat a vodka cranberry.

Clint, Wanda, and Rhodey join us as well. We are all laughing and drinking together and it's pretty wonderful.

"Where's the boy toy Liya?" I lean my head on Clint's shoulder.

"Him, and Stevie, and Sammy are showering. That sounds kinda hot actually. They were working out." Clint laughs along with Wanda.

"I'm not sure how I feel about you having a boyfriend now that I have to listen to you say shit like that." Oh Clint, he's wonderful.

"I've always been a perv, long before James was in the picture." Rhodey makes weird sound.

"You have to stick to calling him Bucky or Barnes Liya, I'm James too." Oh yea I forgot about that.

The three missing men all walk off the elevator together, freshly showered and looking so good is should be illegal.

"Hey baby I was just talking about you!" Snickers all around.

"You are really something else when you've been drinkin doll." Bucky sits down beside me but it's not close enough for me so I drape myself across his lap. He doesn't seem to mind because he just wraps his arms around me tightly.

Friday's loud voice booms through the building. "Boss, there's some kind of a ship preparing to land outside the compound." The windows of the compound start to rumble. The biggest aircraft I've ever seen is indeed landing right outside.

"Holy shit."


	13. You're all I need

"Come sink into me and let me breathe you in  
I'll be your gravity, you be my oxygen  
So dig two graves 'cause when you die  
I swear I'll be leaving by your side

So you can drag me through hell  
If it meant I could hold your hand  
I will follow you 'cause I'm under you spell  
And you can throw me to the flames" Follow You by Bring Me the Horizon

Chapter 13

We've all run out to the front of the building, the adrenaline rush is enough to mostly sober me up. Are we going to have to fight? I don't want to fight anymore. Doesn't stop any of us from being poised for battle though. The door to the strange aircraft opens. Rather than some freaky looking green men exiting there's a different looking but still familiar muscular form making his way towards us.

"Thor?" Steve relaxes as his friend comes to stand in front of him.

"It is so good to see you all. We have had a most trying journey." Thors hair is much shorter than usual and he now has an eyepatch. I wonder who he means by we?

Stumbling out of the ship is none other than Bruce Banner. My eyes shoot to Natasha who is as usual difficult to read. Her eyes look a little sad though. Behind Bruce is Thor's troublemaker of a brother, Loki.

Tony pulls Bruce into a hug, it's very unlike him but he always has had a soft spot for his fellow scientist.

"So I'm assuming you're finally not on the wrong side of things if you're here with your brother and Bruce isn't trying to murder you?" Loki has come to stop near me for some reason.

"You'd be correct Agent Angelov. At least for the time being, it's lovely to see you again darling." In the short amount of time I had known Loki he had tried to take over our planet but that still hadn't stopped him from swinging wildly between saying horrific things to try to scare me to flirting in a disarming way, clearly to get a rise out of me. Seems he hasn't changed too much.

Bucky shifts beside me, glaring at the God of mischief. I'm sure it's the way he clearly seemed to shift slightly in front of me when the doors to the ship opened that cued Loki in on the intimate nature of our relationship. Thus why Loki had to add on the "darling" to his remark. He seemed to still just love to grate at people.

"Is this your new lover my lady? It wounds me that you seem to have forgotten me so quickly." Yea, I think I might still kill him regardless of if he's turned good or not. Bucky practically growls and reaches for the knife in his back pocket.

"Brother! You must refrain from tormenting our friends with your careless words. We have only just arrived, please show a little restraint." Thor puts a large hand on his brothers shoulder, Loki looks a little disgusted as he pushes Thor's hand off of him. "Lady Liya it is so wonderful to see you!" The tall god pulls me into a overwhelming embrace, lifting me off of me feet. He sets me down with a smile before turning to Bucky. "Steven has told me much about you Bucky Barnes. It is an honor to meet you." The two men shake hands and Bucky even manages to smile a little.

"Not that I'm not thrilled to see you Point Break but what exactly are you doing here with a giant spaceship filled with Asgardians?" Tony is looking into the open door of the ship. There is indeed a shit load of what looks to be Asgardians standing inside.

Thor proceeds to tell us the story of his sister and Ragnarok and the destruction of his home planet. He tells us he has plans to take his people to Norway to settle down but he wanted to make a stop to our facility to drop of Bruce and ask if he can assist us in anyway. To say it's a short and sweet visit it putting it mildly. They leave almost as quickly as they came with promises to visit as soon as they're settled. Can't blame the guy since he has to find a home for all of his people. Bruce looks more than a little lost.

"Hey Bruce, want to come up and have some lunch with Bucky and I?" Tony gives me the side eye like he can't believe I'd dare to take his science bro away from him. I try to convey in a look that I want to check and see how Bruce is doing after these years away from Earth. He apparently gets it because he tells me he's going to get Bruce's old room cleaned up and talk to Pepper. Natasha has disappeared with Steve ahead of us. I need to talk to her too later. Bruce seems grateful for the invitations and comes up to my suite with us.

Both men are sitting at the kitchen table while I make us just some quick subs and chips. They're both silent, which honestly isn't too out of character for either of them. Bruce was always on the shy side and Bucky sure as hell Isn't very talkative with anyone other then Steve and I most of the time.

I sit down beside Bucky and across from Bruce. We all start eating in silence. I can't handle this awkward silence shit.

"Uh, thanks Liya. I can't remember the last time I ate anything normal." I smile at Bruce for finally speaking up.

"No problem, it's isn't much but I figured it would be something quick. Sorry for stealing you away from everyone but I figured you might appreciate some peace before you get thrown back into the fold by Tony. I know how overwhelming he can be." He chuckles and nods his head.

"I appreciate it. I missed the guy but I'm still a little disoriented. You've always been good at reading me and respecting my need for quiet moments." I have a lot of love for Bruce Banner, he has always been kind to me and gave me a chance despite his distrust of Shield. He opened up to me about his many insecurities. And of course I had to care about him when my best friend cared about him so much at one time. Him leaving really did a number on Natasha which made me lose a little respect for him but I also understood why he felt he needed to do it. Now it's been years and he's obviously been through a lot so I'm just going to try to be a good friend like we were before. I'll reevaluate after I speak to Natasha again.

"I know Steve has told you about Bucky before and I'm sure you learned about him in school but this is him obviously. He's kind of like you in a sense, sucks ass at communicating unless you pry it out of him." Bucky looks unimpressed by my introduction and I can't help but laugh. He holds his hand out to shake Bruce's.

"Nice to meet you Bucky. Steve definitely used to talk about you a lot and everyone learns about the Howling Commandos growing up." Bucky looks a little shocked by this.

"Yea I saw an exhibit at a museum about myself, definitely made me feel old. Nice to know I'm in history books to." He doesn't sound as grumpy as he usually does when he's talking to other people. I think he and Bruce will get along well.

"So not to be presumptuous but I'm assuming the two of you are together?" We must be super obvious even when we aren't touching or anything.

"Yes sir. Poor Bucky here is stuck with me, we're soul mates." The look on Bruce's face is one of surprise. Bucky smiles softly at me and takes my hand in his.

"Wow, that's unexpected. Soul mates are so rare in this day and age. I've always been very fascinated by it. I know people don't get marks anymore but I wonder if there's anything scientifically that can show some kind of data or connection? There must be something that makes two people so drawn to each other." I never really thought about that. Is there something that you can see under a microscope or in black and white that shows the connection between Bucky and I?

"Could always ask Tony if he's done any research on it, he and Pepper are soul mates too." I just can't imagine that Bucky would want to submit to some kind of experiment. Bruce looks shocked.

"What? Tony was able to keep something like that to himself? That's incredibly surprising." That's very true, Tony is terrible at keeping his mouth shut about anything

"So, how are you doing Brucey? Thor said you were the other guy for a long time." He lets out a long sigh.

"Honestly I'm still processing everything. I helped Thor out on Sakaar and Asgard but I really haven't been myself for long. It's like I was in a coma for years and my brain is trying to catch up." I can't even imagine what he's going through right now.

"I'm so sorry Bruce. You just have to take it a day at a time, we'll all help you get back up to speed. I'm always available to talk." He smiles gratefully.

"It'll be nice to get back in the lab again. I think if I get back to a normal routine it will help a lot." I'm surprised when Bucky speaks up.

"Would you mind if I maybe came and watched you work sometime? Back when Steve and I were growin up I was always real interested in science. I'd like to try to start putting myself back in the world a bit more. Maybe there's somethin I could do to help. I loved watching Shuri work in Wakanda." Holy shit! He asked for something! This is huge, he's found an interest in something and wants to pursue it. I'm so proud of him, maybe it's silly that him wanting to have a hobby is making me tear up. Bucky notices my watery expression.

"You alright doll?" He wipes away a tear that's escaped my eye but I can't stop smiling. I press a chaste kiss to his lips since Bruce is here.

"I'm perfect babe, I'm just happy." He raises an eyebrow in confusion and just chuckles before turning back to face Bruce. Bruce looks just as confused as Bucky does.

"Uh, yea of course you can. Might help to have an extra pair of hands and eyes sometimes. Steve has always asked me a lot of questions about my work but never seemed to grasp it or be really interested." It's pretty silly how happy this is making me.

"Yea, that punk was never into any of that really. Didn't stop him from signing up to be a science experiment of course, but that was only because he wanted to fight so damn bad." He's still carrying on a conversation, I'm thrilled. I kinda want to screw his brains out just because I'm so giddy about him initiating a conversation. But let's get real here, I always want to get him naked.

"So are you going to get into this whole Avengers business too Bucky?" Here we go. I look to my boyfriend to see his reaction. He lets out a deep sigh.

"I don't know. I want to help Steve. I want to make amends for all the pain and death I've caused. I highly doubt Stark will ever trust me to have his back though. I think about what I want all the time now. I'm good at fightin, I'm good at completin a mission. But is it wrong of me to want to take a step back and try to just live for awhile? All I've ever done is fight and kill, I don't know if I can keep doing it, if I want to." He sounds so lost, so vulnerable. I squeeze his hand tightly, I just want him to be happy.

"I don't think it's wrong to want more than all of this. I mean, I never wanted in to begin with. I felt like you, felt like I needed to make amends. Then I felt like I HAD to, all those guys needed me, well needed the other guy. Seems to me like the Avengers are getting bigger and bigger, they've got more people who want to fight. You're not Tony or Steve or Natasha, you DON'T have to fight anymore if you don't want to. If you still want to help there's plenty of things you can do without getting out there and avenging, hell if you want to go live in the middle of nowhere and spend all day with your soul mate doing nothing I'm pretty sure you've earned that." Bruce Banner is a gift to this world. This man said he was still out of it but he sure doesn't sound like it. Bucky looks a little choked up. He needs to hear things like this, he needs to know he's more than a weapon.

"I…I think I gotta take some time to figure it out. I wanna try new things and I wanna take care of my girl, that's all I know right now." He's smiling so brightly at me, his stormy eyes are shining with adoration and I really feel like I could drown in them. I love this man so much.

Bruce chuckles, his cheeks a little red.

"I've seen this woman take out guys twice her size, pretty sure she can take care of herself. But I get it, and you guys seem great for each other. Liya here looks happier than I've ever seen her. Stick together and I'm sure you'll figure out right where you need to be."

Bucky is still beaming at me, his metal thumb brushes sweetly over my knuckles. "I'm already right where I wanna be Doc. Wherever Liya is, that's where I belong."


	14. Thanks for the high life

"In the car, in the car, in the backseat, I'm your baby  
We go fast, we go so fast, we don't move  
I believe in a place you take me  
Make you real proud of your baby  
In your car, I'm a star and I'm burnin' through you  
In your car, I'm a star and I'm burnin' through you

Oh, be my once in a lifetime  
Lying on your chest, in my party dress  
I'm a fucking mess but I  
Oh, thanks for the high life  
Baby, it's the best, that's a test  
And yes, now I'm here with you and I  
Would like to think that you would stick around  
You know that I'd just die to make you proud  
The taste, the touch, the way we love  
It all comes down to make the sound of our love song

Dream a dream, here's a scene  
Touch me anywhere 'cause I'm your baby  
Grab my waist, don't waste any part  
I believe that you see me for who I am  
So spill my clothes on the floor of your new car  
Is it safe, is it safe to just be who we are?  
Is it safe, is it safe to just be who we are?" Love Song by Lana Del Rey

Chapter 14

Waking up next to Bucky Barnes is now just part of my everyday life but it never loses its appeal. Especially on mornings like this where he's still sleeping peacefully, he looks like a god damn angel. I hate to wake him but those perfect plush lips of his are just begging to be kissed. It takes one, two, three quick pecks before I feel his lips molding to mine. He groans happily and brings his flesh arm around me to press me to his warm chest.

"Mmm, good morning sweetheart." The slow easy smile that turns up the corners of his mouth has me melting. How'd I get so lucky?

"Morning handsome. Sorry for waking you up but I wanted to ask you something and you know how I am when I get something on my mind, I have to talk about it or it eats at me." He quirks an eyebrow in question. His vibranium fingers are tracing a pattern on my bare back and really making it hard for me to focus. I shiver when his fingers dip dangerously low on my back, his eyes brighten humorously.

"You gonna ask me doll or just keep ogling my pretty face?" Smug asshole. The glare I shoot him just makes him chuckle.

"I don't think I want to ask now you arrogant jerk." He laughs again and rolls me so I'm beneath him. He really is the most handsome man I've ever seen. His long hair tickles my face, he's even more gorgeous when he's smiling.

"I'm sorry for teasin. I just love you so much and adore all the reactions I get outta ya." Well when he puts it that way. I pull him down so our lips can meet again. Before we get carried away like we so often do I push against his chest a little so he's back to hovering over me.

"I want you to know that you absolutely can say no to what I'm about to ask you, ok? It won't change anything between us, I promise." Now he looks concerned. He sits up entirely and I follow suit. Perfectly normal to have a serious conversation in the nude. I continue before I lose my nerve. "We stay with each other every night, we both sleep better together and I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm in this for the long haul but I hate asking you anything that's such a big step because I don't want you to ever feel like you don't have control here or to just go along with something because you're so used to following orders. I want you to do what YOU want to do, regardless of my feelings." He looks amused and confused all in one though he's still a little tense.

"There a question there in all that rambling sweetheart?" Oh I guess I didn't ask did I? I'm terrible at rambling when I'm nervous.

"Would you want to actually move in here with me Buck? I know it may be a bit of a tight squeeze in the closet and all but I think we could make it work." My soldiers shoulders relax visibly and there he goes again with that heartbreaking smile.

"You scared the shit outta me, thought somethin was wrong." His contrasting arms pull me against his chest again, his lips press tenderly to the top of my head. "Of course I'll move in with you. I hate bein apart from you and Stevie will definitely appreciate not hearin us goin at it like rabbits anymore when we stay there." I laugh against his warm skin.

"You sure babe? I really don't want you to feel like you have to." His hands cup my cheeks and his eyes meet mine, he looks so happy.

"I've never been more sure of anything. I love you so much!" He taps my nose with a metal digit all the while smiling brightly and now I am too. I giggle at his enthusiasm.

"I love you too Sarge." He growls playfully before tackling me.

"You're askin for trouble when you call me that babydoll." I giggle at his teasing tone. He nips at my collarbone before traveling downward.

My back arches involuntarily when his warm tongue flicks over my nipple, it's a sharp contrast to the cold metal that's between my thighs. Two vibranium digits sink into my core, I'm soaked.

"Fuck, listen to how wet that sweet pussy is for me." The sound of his metal fingers moving in and out of me is absolutely obscene.

"Please, make me cum baby." He smirks at the needy sound of my voice. He tenderly kisses down my stomach while he continues to finger me relentlessly.

"I want you to cum on my tongue Liya, I need to taste you." And taste me he does.

He moans almost louder than I do when his tongue swipes across my clit. His flesh hand holds my hips steady while he devours me. My hands find purchase in his long hair. When I tug harder than I meant to he groans and nips at my clit, that's all it takes to send me into a mind blowing orgasm.

The wicked glint in his eyes when he brings his glistening vibranium fingers to my lips is enough to have me whimpering. I suck the taste of myself from his digits.

"Hands and knees sweetheart." God I love when he's demanding. I do as he says, his flesh hand slaps my right cheek roughly and I moan out his name.

"I'm gonna fuck you hard now doll, want you to scream for me." One powerful thrust has him seated as deep as he can go. We both moan loudly. He grips my hip firmly while continuing to slap my ass periodically.

"Harder baby, please." A growl escapes him and he proceeds to fuck me senseless

"Cum all over my cock Liya, cum for me now." He stills deep inside me as I scream out his name and milk his own orgasm from him.

We fall beside each other and he pulls me against his still heaving chest.

"I love you more than I've ever loved anything Bucky. I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He kisses me long and deep. His steel blue eyes hold so much affection that it makes me a little teary eyed.

"I love you too. We're going to have a beautiful life together doll."

* * *

Hours later when I'm finally willing to leave the bed I head out to find Natasha. Friday informs me that she is in the gym. I find her punching a bag furiously. She doesn't turn to face me when I walk up behind her.

"If you're here to ask me about Bruce, don't bother. I'm fine, it's been years now and I'm completely over it." Her voice gives away nothing as usual.

"I was actually coming to tell you that Bucky is going to be moving into my room with me." Nat stops what she's doing and faces me. I'm surprised to see that crooked smirk of hers.

"Good, I'm happy for you. Despite my trepidation when you first showed interest in Barnes I think you guys are perfect for each other. I think he'd rather die than hurt you so I approve." I'm so glad I have Natasha in my life.

"Thanks Nat. You sure you're doing ok with the whole Bruce situation?" Her smile drops and her eyes roll dramatically.

"You just can't resist being the therapist can you? I'm fine, a little shocked but I'm alright. I don't feel that way about Bruce anymore, I just want him to be happy." She sounds like she's being honest even though it's hard to tell when it comes to Natasha.

Speaking of shock I almost don't block the fist that comes flying at my face. I grab ahold of Natasha's wrist and glare at her. Her lips quirk up before she sweeps my feet out from under me. I hit the mat with a loud thud.

"What the fuck Natalia?" The only answer I get is her foot aimed directly at my ribs. I roll out of the way before she can kick me. I jump to my feet and get into my natural fighting stance.

"You're getting rusty Liya." I evade another well aimed jab.

"I'm not an agent anymore!" This time she sprints at me, trying to wrap her legs around my middle in one of her famous moves. I fight back this time and manage to use my weight to throw her to the ground.

"You don't get to just stop fighting after living the life we have. Sooner or later someone will come after you or me or Barnes and what the hell are you going to do when they do?" I glare down at my friend while pinning her arms to the ground.

"Now you sound like Fury." I grit the words out from between my teeth. Where did this come from?

"I just want you to be prepared. I feel like somethings about to happen and I want to know that I'm not going to have worry about you more than usual. I need to know that you're still as deadly as you used to be. I care about you too much to lose you Liya." I let her go and sit down on the ground beside her.

The bad feeling that's been plaguing me lately must not be mine alone. Maybe she's right, maybe I am getting rusty.

"I'll start training with you again ok?" I get to my feet and hold me hand out to my friend to pull her up with me.

"I want Barnes in on this too, if it weren't for him I wouldn't be half the fighter I am." The history between Nat and Bucky is something she doesn't talk about often.

"You act like I don't know what I'm doing. I've been doing this shit most of my life now, you and I side by side." She nudges my shoulder with her own.

"I know that but you've been out of practice for awhile now and I'm sure that deadly ass boyfriend of yours would probably like to see you in action." She's so ridiculous.

"I'm sure he would and knowing him he'll probably get turned on and drag me to the showers to have his dirty dirty way with me." I'm surprised Natasha laughs at that.

"I'm sure your guys's sex life is phenomenal seeing as your soulmates." I love having such a close friend.

"You have no idea. He makes me cum out my eyeballs every single time." We both erupt into a fit of laughter.

* * *

Natasha comes back to mine and now Buckys apartment with me. I'm surprised to see he and Steve sitting on the couch watching tv.

"Hey geezers! Im shocked you aren't bird watching or doing a crossword puzzle." They both roll their pretty blue eyes at me.

"Friday went ahead and gave me access so the punk helped me move my stuff down." That was fast, I'm seriously fucking excited about it.

"Aww, thanks for helping him Stevie. Sorry to steal your bestie away from you." Again with the eye rolling.

"I'm just happy I don't have to hear your guys's obnoxiously loud sex anymore. One of the drawbacks of this whole super soldier thing is enhanced hearing and you two were making me insane." Bucky winks at me as if to say I told you so.

"I'd say I'm sorry but if you were having the mind blowing orgasms I do everyday you wouldn't be apologetic either." The blonde groans and Bucky snickers.

"Stop teasin him sweetheart. I'm sure you know as well as I do that Steve can't handle all that crass talk without turnin the color of a damn tomato." Cap actually slaps the back of his friend head likes he's scolding him.

"We were in the fucking army for gods sake Buck. I just don't want to hear about what either of you two get up to when you're alone." It's always funny when Steve curses when you tease him about being prudish. We all know he's not actually like that but it's great to get a rise out of him.

"You sir are no fun at all." The blank stare I receive from Steve has me laughing all over again. Natasha clears her throat before speaking.

"Well boys Liya and I need help with some training, you in?" The two nonagenarians shoot each other a confused look before before looking at us with suspicious narrowed eyes.


	15. Wrong

"I find shelter in this way  
Under cover, hide away  
Can you hear when I say  
I have never felt this way

Maybe I had said something that was wrong  
Can I make it better with the lights turned on  
Maybe I had said something that was wrong  
Can I make it better with the lights turned on

Could I be, was I there  
It felt so crystal in the air  
I still want to drown whenever you leave  
Please teach me gently how to breathe" Shelter by Birdy

Chapter 15

So when Nat said Bucky would want to be involved in my training up again she wasn't lying. It's been three weeks now that I've been up at the asscrack of dawn with my sadist boyfriend working out, sparring, running, shooting, and practicing with knives. Of course Steve is on board with all of it, he and Bucky never even break a sweat. Even Natasha gets tired out occasionally when working out with them.

"Liya, time to wake up. We got work to do." I growl and swat Bucky's hand away. My phone is shoved under my pillow, I fish it out and sigh when I see its yet again 4:30 in the morning.

"I'm not going to the gym today Bucky. I need a fucking break, I'm not a super soldier. I'm so sore I can barely move and I haven't had a rest day in weeks." Seriously I feel like death. I'm run ragged and muscles I didn't even know I have hurt.

"You're the one who said you have a feeling that somethings comin. I'm just makin sure you're prepared. Some bad guy shows up he ain't gonna give you a break sweetheart." I get what he's saying but I feel like shit.

"I appreciate it babe, really I do, but I physically am pushed to my limits right now. If I keep going as hard as I have been I'm going to hurt myself. I'm just asking for one day to chill out."

Cold metal presses to my bare shoulder and pushes me to my back. I wince at the pain from just even that small amount of movement. Concern is swimming in those blue grey eyes I love so much.

"I'm sorry if I've been overdoin it. I guess I kinda forget that other people have limitations that Steve and I don't." His flesh hand runs through his hair, it's an adorable nervous habit of his.

"You don't have to be sorry, I know you would never intentionally cause me any kind of pain. It's just all of this training on top of working is exhausting me." He still looks apologetic.

"How bout you let me pamper ya today darlin, since I made you feel this way and all. I'm gonna go run you a bath." Before I can get a word in he hops to his feet and is making his way to the bathroom. Funny how the Brooklyn accent is pretty much a constant anymore.

When Bucky reappears he scoops me into his arms making me squeal in surprise. He walks me to the bathroom and lowers me gently into the huge tub.

"You better get your sexy ass in here with me." He smiles warmly and climbs in behind me. His arms wrap around me and pull me against his chest.

"Mmm this is nice. Why haven't we done this before?" I melt into his embrace, his voice vibrates through his chest, I love his voice.

"Well we're kinda terrible at being naked and keeping our hands to ourselves Buck. Not much time for relaxing in the tub." He chuckles deeply and presses a kiss to the top of my head.

"If you weren't so sore I definitely wouldn't be keepin my hands to myself." Definitely know that's the truth. I can feel his arousal against my back but that's it's not like he can help it.

"And whose fault is the soreness?" He groans dramatically.

"I'm definitely feelin the consequences of my actions and promise to take it easier on ya."

We spend a good half hour relaxing in the tub and helping each other wash. It definitely has me feeling more relaxed.

Bucky makes us French toast and bacon for breakfast and we stay in comfy lazy day clothes. Even on the days I look my most bummy he looks like a damn GQ model. We're snuggling on the couch with me between his legs while watching Casablanca which Bucky actually vaguely remembers.

"My ma really woulda loved ya Liya. She always said I needed a woman who could put up with my smart mouth and fight back." His flesh hand is absentmindedly tracing patterns on my arm.

"I wish I could have met her and thanked her for gifting the world with you James Barnes." His head drops onto my shoulder, lips press to my neck gently.

"You say the sweetest things doll. I just love you so fucking much." God he's adorable.

"I love you so fucking much too." He chuckles and squeezes me tightly.

Of course our peaceful day is interrupted by a blaring alarm and the sound of Friday's voice.

"Mr. Stark would like me to inform anyone currently inside the compound that the barn door protocol is being put into effect immediately."

The two of us jump to our feet as the room darkens around us. The compound is being completely sealed off.

"Friday where the hell is Tony? What's going on?" Bucky is rushing around the room grabbing the numerous guns and blades we have hidden.

"Mr. Stark has requested both you and Sergeant Barnes to come to the ground floor and to suit up." Mother fucker. I knew the peace couldn't last forever. We both run to the bedroom and slip quickly into our tactical gear. Mine is similar to Natasha's except a deep green with black line work. Bucky's newer uniform that T'challa had made for him is very reminiscent of the old howling commandos uniform.

"Toss me that case under the bed please." Bucky slides me the case as we both lace up our boots. I take the two black kamas out and put them into their place on my tactical belt.

The two of us move in unison out of our room and down the stairwell rather than taking the elevator. Both of us hold our guns out in front of us not knowing what to expect. We make it to the other without incident, Bucky always standing protectively in front of me. Everyone is geared up, except Bruce who looks fidgety and uncomfortable.

"What's happening Ton?" Before he can answer a thundering sound reverberates directly where the front door should be. Obviously it was some kind of explosion that can't get through whatever the hell Tony has put in place to shield the building.

"Uh hostiles that are using some kind of crazy weaponry have managed to somehow get past all security and literally be at the front door. From what I'm seeing I'm assuming they're Hydra because it's all looking very much like the weapons at the last cell we busted." Fucking great. Bucky inhales loudly and raggedly beside me.

"Why are we in here and not out there kicking their asses?" I really wish I wasn't as sore as I am right now.

"Cap here has a feeling they might be here to try to collect their "asset" figured we'd try to keep you two on the inside if at all possible." Bucky flinches at the word asset and clenches his jaw.

"It's probably best that he stay in here but why me?" Steve is the one that answers me.

"No one should know that Bucky is here but they do, we have to assume that they also know the nature of your relationship. We can't let them use that and if these are the same men that Fury came here about then they know who you are. We need you to keep your distance. Vision, Wanda, Sam, Rhodey, and Tony are heading out now. The rest of us will stay here with you and hope we aren't needed." At that all the people he just said take off towards the roof exit.

"The mission you turned down was about Hydra? That's what Fury wanted you for?" This may be the first time I've ever heard Bucky sound upset with me. His voice is quiet but accusatory.

"Natasha, Clint, and I were stationed in Sofia years ago on a mission. We didn't know the men we were dealing with then were Hydra. I'm not an agent anymore and I didn't want to get dragged into it." It's not a lie. He seems to be able to tell I'm leaving something out because his eyes narrow and he turns to Steve.

"Who are they?" Steve looks like he'd rather run into battle than deal with answering his best friends question.

"We don't know who is out there right now Buck." His steely gaze turns to Natasha.

"Who were the men that Fury told you about Natalia?" Her face is impassive as usual.

"Like Steve said, we don't know who's out there Barnes." His vibranium hand clenches into a fist.

"Someone better tell me who the fuck we are dealing with right now! Obviously everyone but me knows what's going on!" I've never heard him so angry and it makes my stomach drop. I speak up so I don't upset him even further.

"Radko Kozlek, a Bulgarian based arms dealer, drug kingpin, and human trafficker. Fury recently got intelligence that he's been dealing and manufacturing Hydra weapons and experimenting on people. Dima Karpov is working with him." You could hear a pin drop it's suddenly so quiet. The pain and anger is so evident on Bucky's face that I feel my eyes welling up. He turns away from me without a word. When I take a step towards him he takes one back.

"Let me out of this god damn building right now Steve." Before Steve can even respond Tony comes over our coms.

"They're gone. There is no one out here and absolutely no trace of them." What the fuck?

"But we saw them on the security cameras, they shot some kind of explosive at the door." They definitely did.

"Well they aren't here now. Sam and Rhodey are going to fly out and see if they can find anything."

"I'm going to find them." Bucky tries to push past Steve but he immediately puts a stop to that." If looks could kill we'd all be dead right now.

"Buck, you're not goin out there right now. You're pissed off and not thinkin straight which is exactly why we didn't say anything to you about it before." That was so not the right thing to say. Bucky chuckles humorlessly.

"Ya know, I expect that bullshit from you Steve, you've done nothing but hover over me like I'm a fucking bomb who's bound to blow up at any minute since I got here. You've always been a stupidly overprotective asshole." Bucky rounds on me, his eyes blazing with hurt and anger. "But you? I really didn't think you'd hide or lie to me about anything because I sure as hell would never do it to you. Soul mates, huh? What a fucking joke." It's like a slap to the face, his words knock the wind out of me.

"Bucky!" Now Steve sounds angry but he doesn't stop his friend from darting off back towards the elevator.

"Liya, are you ok?" Steve puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. I can't really stop the tears from spilling over now.

"He's right, he never would have hid anything like this from me. What the hell is wrong with me?" Now Natasha is at my side and she pulls me into her arms. I'm too upset to be shocked by her sudden show of affection.

"You just wanted to protect him. You didn't want to see him get himself hurt because he'd be hell bent on revenge. Which is exactly what he was trying to do by wanting to go out there just now without thinking. It's too soon for him to be going out on missions involving Hydra." Regardless of my reasoning I still hurt him. I feel like the biggest piece of shit.

"It's not my place to make that decision for him though. I did it out of selfishness, I didn't want to risk popping this peaceful little bubble we've been living in. I have to fix this." It's at that moment that the compound begins to open up again. The metal plates that surrounded the building a moment ago are now sliding out of sight.

The rest of the team make their way back into the building as I run towards the elevator. When I get to our suite Bucky is nowhere to be found.

One of his dresser drawers is still open, a few articles of clothing are missing. The leather bag he keeps by his side of the bed is gone as well. Of course none of his guns are in their places either. A wave of nausea hits me so hard that I barely make it to the toilet before I'm throwing up.

"Friday get me Steve please." He's granted access a few minutes later with Natasha in tow.

"He's gone Stevie." Natasha helps me to my feet and moves us to the living room.

"Friday, is Bucky in the compound still?"

"No he is not Captain Rogers. Sergeant Barnes left approximately twenty minutes ago." I can't stop the tears as they fall.

"I'm going to bring him back Liya." If anyone can it's Steve. Natasha keeps an arm wrapped around me.

"I don't want him to get himself killed Stevie, this wasn't supposed to happen." My door bursts open and in walks Tony and Clint.

"We need to get you and Terminator moved to a safe house ASAP while we figure out what the hell is going on with these magically disappearing HYDRA agents. I'm not convinced either of you are ready for combat and you're probably the targets." Clint is at my side the second he noticed how I'm crying and shaking. Tony cocks his head to the side in question. "I miss something here? I mean I heard the little drama fest downstairs but figured it had blown over by now." Steve narrows his eyes at Tony's insensitivity.

"Bucky is gone. He took a bag and some weapons and left." Tony wipes a hand over his face in obvious exasperation.

"Son of a bitch! Friday get me a visual of when Barnes left." Tony continues to curse under his breath as he watches the footage Friday pulls up. He presses two fingers to the com in his ear. "Wilson and Rhodes I need you guys to keep an eye out for Barnes, he took off and has to be in pursuit of these Hydra guys too. If you find him I need you to restrain him and contact me immediately, we can't have him involved in this right now." I can't believe any of this is happening.. I'm trying and failing to calm myself down.

Tony kneels in front of me and takes one of my hands in his. "Gotta say I've never seen you this torn up Annie." The concern in his voice is so unfamiliar, Tony isn't big on emotions. "I hate to say this to you right now but we gotta move you to a safe house like we planned." I rip my hand out of his.

"I'm not going anywhere without Bucky. You all need to stop treating me like I'm incapable of defending myself. I was an agent before you were ever even Iron Man. Ive killed more people than you can even imagine Tony." Maybe I shouldn't be lashing out at him but I can't believe he would even suggest I leave right now.

"I know you can take care of yourself, everyone knows that. I also know that if these guys that tortured and brainwashed Barnes for seventy years and experimented on Wanda and her brother and killed countless others realize that not only are you a former Shield agent that infiltrated their ranks but the SOULMATE of their precious Soldier that there's nothing that's going to stop them from trying to get to you. What the hell do you think Barnes would do if you got kidnapped by his former handler? You think he'd go in clear headed and come out in one piece? We have no idea what we're really dealing with here. If they're experimenting on and creating enhanced again than I can't guarantee mine let alone anyone else's safety. So I need to make sure you're somewhere that they don't know about and when I find your boyfriend I swear to you on everything that I will get him to you."

Just a couple hours ago I was sitting in a bath tub with the love of my life and now everything has gone to complete shit. What am I supposed to do.

"I know how you feel about Bucky, but please, PLEASE, get him back to me in one piece. I have to apologize, I need him Tony." I don't think I've actually ever cried in front of my friends.

"Hey, no tears Annie. You gotta get out of here. Romanoff why don't you go with her, ok? Don't tell anyone including me where you're going." Natasha nods and helps me to my feet. We both quickly pack bags. I guess this is it.


	16. My way back home

"With every step I take  
The less I know myself  
And every vow I break on my way towards your heart  
Countless times I've prayed  
For forgiveness  
But Gods just laughed at my face  
And this path remains  
Leading me into solitudes arms

I see through the darkness  
My way back home  
The journey seems endless  
But I'll carry on  
The shadows will rise  
And they will fall  
And our night drowns in dawn

Amidst all the tears there's a smile  
That all angels will greet with an envious song  
One look into your eyes  
And I know where I belong" The Path by HIM

Chapter 16

I don't know how long exactly we've been on the road but I do know I was able to get a full nights sleep by the time Natasha is shaking me awake.

"Cmon, we're here." I help her grab our bags out of the back of the SUV we drove here in.

The safe house we're at looks like a pretty basic cabin in the woods, no neighbors to be seen.

"We didn't go very far away did we?" She unlocks the front door of the cabin and I follow her inside. It's cozy inside, furnished in a way that makes it seem like someone's actually living here.

"Only about eleven hours away from the compound. Figured it better to stick to a closer place in case we're needed." We both take a seat on the plush couch in front of us.

"You should go get some sleep Nat, you drove all night." She bumps her shoulder against my own and smiles softly.

"And leave you here to overthink your way into an anxiety attack? I don't think so." She knows me too well. I'm so lucky to have her here with me right now.

"I'll feel better knowing you're taking care of yourself woman. I'll be fine." She sighs but seems to accept what I says she heads towards what I assume is a bedroom.

* * *

It only takes about a few hours for the anxiety and sense of loss to completely consume me. I feel like I can't breathe, like a part of me is missing, it actually physically hurts to be away from Bucky. Where is he? Is he ok? Have I lost him completely? There's a part of me that knows I'm being dramatic but I'm terrified. Could I ever live without him now? I really don't feel like the normally put together woman that everyone confides in. How the hell can someone like me really help anyone?

The urge to flee this cabin and go search for Bucky is so strong that I have to dig my nails into the palms of my hands and force myself to walk to the bedroom Natasha is sleeping in. I don't want to wake her but I don't think I can handle this right now. I lay down in bed beside my friend, her eyes open instantly, it's an occupational hazard to be a light sleeper that is instantly alert. Her eyes swim with concern and that's all it takes for sobs to start shaking my body so fiercely that I'm gasping. Natasha wraps her arms around me, her fingers run comfortingly through my hair and she murmurs soothingly in Russian to me like I'm a child. It takes a long time for me to stop crying so hard, finally exhaustion over the entire situation overcomes me and I fall asleep.

* * *

Eight days have come and gone and I'm barely aware of it. Steve and Tony have contacted Natasha three times total on burner phones that are untraceable. No updates on the Hydra men and no leads on Bucky. I should be more concerned about the people who came to the compound and were able to vanish without a trace and without actually doing any damage but I can't bring myself to feel anything other than empty. I barely eat or speak. I'm depressed enough that sleep comes easily but my nightmares are vivid. Natasha grows more concerned by the minute at my unstable appearance.

At her urging I shower and go to sleep. I've been staying in a separate room so my reaction to my nightmares don't wake her and I can cry in peace. Another horrible memory plays out in my sleep tonight, a mission gone wrong, so many people died, so many deaths that I caused.

I wake with a start but something keeps me frozen in place lying on my side. The eerie feeling of another presence in my room, if it was Natasha she'd have spoken by now. I reach a hand slowly under my pillow where I have a large knife hidden. The dark figure of a man walks stealthily to my bedside. I react as soon as they're in front me. I lunge out of bed with all of the finesse that years of training has afforded me. I use all my force to push the man against the wall closest to us, my blade is pressed dangerously to the intruders throat.

My breath hitches when the moonlight from the window illuminates the familiar features of one James Buchanan Barnes. He looks more distressed than I've ever seen him. He clearly hasn't shaved in the time we've been apart and his hair is disheveled. Unshed tears are threatening to spill out of his blue eyes. I gasp when I realize that not only am I cutting shallowly into Bucky's neck but he isn't defending himself in the slightest, he allowed me to attack him. I drop the knife like it's burning my skin.

"Liya…I'm…I'm so sorry." He sounds so pained, but he's here. He came back to me. I'm sobbing again but I wrap my arms more tightly around him than I ever have. He breaks when when I lay my head against his warm chest, crying as hard as I am. The strong arms I've missed so much are squeezing me back.

I pull away after a moment, my hands move to cradle his face, steel eyes close as he leans into my touch. We have to talk but I need to feel him right now. I push up on my toes and press my lips fiercely to his. Both of us are still crying but he kisses me back with just as much passion. His lips trail over my wet cheeks, my temple, the top of my head and he's pulling me back into him.

"I love you doll, God I love you. I'm so sorry, you don't know how fucking sorry I am. I shouldn't have left, I shouldn't have run away from you." His voice is shaking, almost frantic.

"I'm the one who's sorry. I had no right to keep all of that from you. I never wanted to deceive you Bucky. I was just so scared of losing you, I didn't want you to get yourself hurt. I can't lose you, I can't. Please forgive me, please don't leave again." My voice breaks at the end and he looks even more heartbroken than before. He crushes me to his chest again.

"Oh sweetheart I'm never goin away from you ever again. I missed you so much. Felt like my heart had been ripped out, like part of me was missin." That's exactly how I've been feeling. All I can think about is how happy I am that I'm back in his arms.

Bucky suddenly pushes me behind him when the room lights up. Natasha is standing in the doorway with wide eyes. She stares at Bucky for a few seconds before her expression changes to unbridled anger. Her arm moves so quickly that I don't notice what's happened until Bucky falls to his knees groaning and clutching his chest. It takes him a moment to rip the taser disk off his chest.

"What the hell Nat!?" I kneel down beside Bucky and pull his shirt up to inspect the damage. Theres just a small burn from the electrically charged device that's already healing.

"He deserves far worse than that for what he's put you through in the last week." She's still glaring coldly at him.

"You're right Natalia. I was an idiot and I swear to you it'll never happen again. Thank you for taking care of Aneliya when I shoulda been. You're a good woman." He's still teary eyed, sincerity is so clear in his broken voice.

"You're god damn right it'll never happen again. You hurt her again and you're dead Barnes." Both Bucky and I get to our feet.

"Nat, this is on me. Don't be mad at him. I should have never kept any of this from him to begin with." She rolls her eyes and lets out a sigh.

"You probably shouldn't have but him leaving you was a far worse offense." I know she's just trying to take up for me because she cares so much. Her eyes narrow at Bucky again. "And you said that Liya being your soulmate was a joke. She can't ever unhear that you asshole. I had to watch her bawl her eyes out and neglect herself for eight days! I couldn't do anything to make it better. She may forgive you but I most definitely do not." Bucky looks like he feels even worse if that's possible. I want to defend him but she speaks up again before I get the chance. "I'm taking the car you stole back to the compound and leaving the SUV here. One of us will contact you soon when we know more." She closes the space between us quickly and hugs me tightly. She shoots Bucky another nasty look before leaving the room.

* * *

We move out to the living room area after Natasha gets on the road. I make us both hot chocolate and we sit as close as possible to each other on the couch. Things still feel a little off, my anxiety is through the roof because I don't know how he's feeling exactly. I'm picking at my nails and bouncing my leg in nervousness. Bucky breaks the silence between us.

"I talked to Steve before I came here. He gave me the locations of all the safe houses within relatively close proximity to the compound, that's how I found you. He also made it very clear how disappointed in me he is." The thought makes me giggle for the first time in over a week. Of course Steve would be disappointed rather than flat out angry. Bucky seems to catch onto why I'm laughing and cracks a small smile. It makes me feel better that there's still familiarity and comfort between us.. Maybe I should be more upset than I am and maybe he should be too but all I feel is relief and happiness, maybe it's the soul bond. Maybe it's just because I realize in the grand scheme of things one small disagreement isn't going to completely change our relationship.

"So, what happened out there James? Did you find them?" He laces his vibranium digits through my own when he notices how fidgety and nervous I'm still acting. I smile when he traces my knuckles with his metal thumb. I'm so glad that he's gotten past his insecurity about his arm.

"I found absolutely nothing, not even a trace of anything and that scares the shit outta me darlin." Worry is evident on his handsome face and in his tone. "I'm not the winter soldier anymore but all the skills and instincts are still there, I'm good at trackin people. There wasn't a sign that anyone was ever even at the compound other than the video feed we saw. All the fancy security features and weapons that automatically should have went off in the event that someone even got close to that place were never triggered. No trace of the big armored vehicle with hydra tech that we saw in that video, not even a dent in the armor of the building from the supposed explosion. It's like it never even happened." I'm just not understanding this at all.

"So what do we do now then? Shouldn't we be helping out if even Steve and Tony are coming up empty handed?" Bucky presses a kiss to my temple.

"You and me are gonna stay here a little longer. You were all right when you said I don't need to go chargin after these people with no plan and with nothin but revenge on the brain. I don't wanna put you in any danger. Being away from you really put things into perspective for me." He smiles at me warmly before pulling me onto his lap so that my head rests under his chin. The sound of his heartbeat is so begins speaking again so quietly that it's hard to make out his words..

"I hated myself for so long, I didn't think I was worth savin, that I was worth all the trouble Stevie went through to bring me back to myself. I didn't think I had any worth and then I met YOU. You make me feel like a man again, and the way you look at me like I'm you whole world absolutely kills me sweetheart. I know you love me and I know you feel exactly the same way about me that I feel about you. I can just FEEL it. The further I got away from you the more miserable I got and I realized that you were feelin the exact same pain I was and that's when I realized how fuckin stupid I was bein. You and me are meant to be together, you're mine and I'm yours and nothin in the whole damn universe matters more than that to me. We gotta stick together now, I need you with me." I'm yet again struck by how very lucky I am to have this man as my soulmate. His sweetness has me feeling a little teary again.

I press my lips to the strong line of his jaw. "I love you James. I'm going to spend everyday of my life showing you exactly how much. I promise I'll always do everything in my power to make you happy." I shift on his lap so that I'm now straddling him. His hands hold my hips gently and I lean forward to press my lips to his. He kisses me gently before leaning his forehead against mine.

"You know what would make me happier than anything doll?" I pull back a little and trace his cheeks and jaw absentmindedly with the tips of my fingers , I just love the feel of him.

"Hm?" His plush lips press a kiss to my thumb when I swipe over them.

"If you'd marry me."


	17. Stumble through heaven

"He says, "Oh, baby girl, don't get cut on my edges  
I'm the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon  
There's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs  
And if you wanna go to heaven you, should fuck me tonight"

And I've been sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool  
For a while now, drowning my thoughts out with the sounds

But do you feel like a young god?  
You know the two of us are just young gods  
And we'll be flying through the streets with the people underneath  
And they're running, running, running" Young God by Halsey

Chapter 17

My pulse is ringing in my ears. My whole body is shaking, my heart rate is increased, breathing shallow. Bucky is shuddering too, he's running his flesh hand through his hair in that nervous way of his and everything seems like slow motion. I'm having an adrenaline rush. Tears trail down my cheeks but a metallic thumb wipes away the traces. I hold his vibranium hand to my cheek to ground myself.

"W…what? Did you….are you asking me?" I can barely get the words out and my voice is so quiet that if it weren't for my lovers advanced hearing he may not have heard me.

The blue grey eyes I love so much look so worried, he swallows visibly. He lifts his body enough that he can reach into his pocket. I'm still straddling his waist and I have to hold myself upright as he shifts.

The small simple black velvet box in his hand has my breath hitching again. He opens the box carefully and I gasp at the delicate ring sitting inside, it's gorgeous. It's an antique emerald and diamond halo ring with a gold band.

"Stevie got it outta the Smithsonian for me, it was my ma's that she left to me. They had a ton of mine and Steve's stuff there." His mother's? This has me tearing up all over again.

"You really want to marry me? After I just hid all that from you and acted like a selfish bitch?" He rolls his pretty eyes at me.

"Don't call yourself that doll. That fight was nothin, I bet we'll have a few doozies over the years but we'll make it through and I'll never run away again. You're the love of my life Liya. Twin flames, remember? So will you please put me outta my misery and say you'll marry me?" I choke on a sob and nod my head vigorously. His answering smile is absolutely blinding. We kiss tenderly, a promise to our beautiful future. We laugh against each others lips before pulling apart.

Bucky takes his mother's ring out of its box and gestures for me to hold out my left hand. He slips it onto my ring finger and it fits perfectly just like it was meant to always be there.

"Aneliya Barnes sounds pretty fucking great." He chuckles at my enthusiasm before pressing a sweet kiss to my lips again.

"I think so too. The punk thought I'd wait years to ask you if I ever actually got the balls to do it at all." Steve will be so happy for us. I think even Natasha will be, I know she's angry right now but I think when she hears about this she'll be thrilled for me. I can't wipe the smile off my face.

"You know Sarge, I think we should celebrate." I run my hands through his long hair and tug hard enough to make him groan. His hands find purchase on my hips and he grins like the entirely too charming Bucky of the forties.

"Is that right darlin? And how exactly do you think we should celebrate?" His lips ghost over my neck making me shiver before he nips at my collarbone and thrusts his growing erection against my clothed center. I whimper almost pathetically before crashing our lips together.

I'm so thankful to have a super soldier for a fiancé because him lifting me up and walking us towards the bedroom like it's nothing is seriously hot. He tosses me on the bed unceremoniously and begins to take his clothes off while I lift my nightgown over my head leaving me in only a pair of boy shorts. The way he crawls towards me up the bed looking like a sexually charged predator has me soaking the small barrier between us.

"You gonna let me take care of you doll?" All I can do is nod. He smirks before ripping my shorts completely off me.

There's no warning before two vibranium fingers are thrust as deeply as possible into me. Plush lips crush against mine and I moan into his mouth. His metallic thumb plays my clit perfectly in time with his thrusting fingers and I'm screaming out my release before I can even catch my breath.

"I need to feel you wrapped around my cock, need you so bad." There's nothing gentle or slow about this. He enters me roughly and immediately starts a bruising pace. There's a desperation I've never quite felt from him tonight. Maybe it was the separation or maybe it's just him wanting to claim me now that I've agreed to be completely his.

"Bucky! Fuck, baby you feel so good." I claw at his back hard enough to probably break the skin but he groans pleasurably. He takes my ankles in hand and forces them up into his shoulder essentially bending me in half as pounds even harder into me. Stormy eyes travel from my blissed out face to my bouncing tits before settling on where we're joined. The growl that leaves him is almost inhuman.

"Fuck doll, look at how good your pussy is takin my cock. So fucking sexy." I moan incoherently at his words. God I love the filthy mouth on this man.

"Touch yourself Liya, rub your clit and cum hard all over me." I immediately obey. My eyes roll back the second my fingers start rubbing circles on my sensitive clit. His pace quickens even more and I feel so impossibly close to the edge. There's something I want from him though.

"James, baby, choke me please." It's something we haven't done in awhile and I absolutely love it. His eyes darken even further and he smirks before slowing down his thrusts slightly.

"I'll give you anything ya want but you gotta to tell me which hand you want around that pretty little neck of yours." He knows exactly what I want.

"You know I want the metal one Bucky. Please choke me and make me cum, I need it baby." My answer seems to please him because vibranium fingers wrap tightly around my throat and fuck it feels perfect. He's rubbing against my clit with every hard thrust. My vision blurs from the pressure and then his grip loosens and I'm soaring as I gasp for air. I scream out his name and he pounds even harder.

"Oh fuck Liya! Squeezing me so fucking tight." He sounds completely wrecked and it sends another rush of arousal through me.

"Cum inside me Sarge. Fucking cum for me, fill me up." My words send him over. He moans loudly as he thrusts deeply one more time before I feel the liquid heat of his release and he drags me under with him again.

He collapses next to me in a boneless heap. This may be one of the only times I've ever heard him out of breath.

"You are entirely too good at sex Bucky. I'm going to want you to fuck my brains out forever because you're so great and eventually you're going to get tired of it." He chuckles and presses a kiss to my sweaty forehead.

"I'm never gonna get tired of havin you wrapped around me doll, it's impossible. You were made for me in every single way. And now you're gonna be legally bound, you're stuck with me." My heart soars at the thought. I'm going to marry James Buchanan Barnes.

"I think you better put that you promise to always screw me whenever I want in your vows babe. That's definitely a husbandly duty." He laughs again before pulling me into his arms. I rest my head against his chest so I can hear the steady sound of his heartbeat.

"I'll promise you anything you want so as long as I really get to call you mine." How can one man be so damn sweet?

"I've always been yours and I always will be." I press a kiss to his cheek and nuzzle back against his chest. "Let's get some sleep." It doesn't take either of us anytime at all to drift off.

* * *

It's early afternoon before I wake up. A smile spreads across my face slowly when I feel the familiar warmth of Bucky pressed snugly against me. The heaviness that weighed on me when I woke up yesterday is nowhere to be found, I'm whole again. The glint of the ring on my left hand catches my eye and my breath catches in shock. I'm engaged, Bucky asked me to marry him. I can't believe this is happening.

I shift carefully out of the arms of my soldier. I glance back at him over my shoulder and am again struck by how gorgeous he is. He looks so young and peaceful when he's sleeping and it takes everything in me to go take a shower rather than crawling back into bed with him.

I wash quickly and change into a comfortable oversized off the shoulder sweater and leggings. I pull my hair back into a high ponytail to keep it out of my face and head to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee and eat a bagel. The silence of the cabin is broken by the sound of the front doors knob being messed with.

I move quickly to my feet and reach under the counter to the pistol taped there. I remove the safety and keep it pointed straight ahead as the door swings open. The flash of red, silver, and blue have me exhaling in annoyance but slight relief.

Steve is all geared up minus the helmet, his shield front and center. He looks surprised to see me pointing a gun in his direction but looks just as relieved as I do.

"Why the hell are you breaking and entering Stevie? Also why are you all spangled up?" He rolls

his pretty blue eyes at me and gestures for me to lower the gun which I immediately do. I tape it back to the underside of the counter.

"Neither of you were answering your phones and I got worried. Natasha called and told me which house you were at and I was nearby searching for answers still." I'm sure he was nowhere close to here but he's such a damn mother hen and worries like crazy.

"We both just got the first real nights sleep we've had in a week, I think and were just dead to the world and didn't hear our phones. Bucky is still sleeping. Didn't mean to worry Captain America." He scoffs when I gesture to his getup. I pour Steve a cup of coffee and hold out to him after he takes a seat at the small table in the kitchen.

His hand reaches out to grab my left one as I pass him his coffee. His thumb traces the emerald in my ring. I'm not sure I've ever quite seen a smile on Steve Rogers face like the one he's flashing me now. "He asked you?" I nod my head and smile sheepishly. He laughs merrily before jumping to his feet and pulling me against his broad chest, squeezing me a little too tightly. "Congratulations Liya!" I giggle at the excited tone of my friend.

The sound of a clearing throat has me pulling away from the blonde. Bucky is standing a few feet away in nothing but his black boxer briefs. "Why you gropin my girl Rogers?" Steve chuckles before closing the distance between him and Bucky and throwing his arms around him in much the same way he did to me. Bucky stiffens visibly and looks over Steve's shoulder at me like a deer in headlights. It's enough to have me doubling over in laughter.

"Congratulations pal! I'm so damn happy for ya Buck! Can't wait to watch you get hitched." Bucky finally reacts to his friends embrace and hugs him back before pulling away with a smile.

"This is a little awkward seein as I'm in nothin but my shorts punk." Steve laughs and claps his friend on the back.

"Why don't you go take a shower and I'll make us all some breakfast?" Rather than answering Bucky comes over to me and presses a kiss to my lips that probably lasts long enough to make Steve a little uncomfortable. Bucky winks once he pulls away and grabs a bag I hadn't noticed on his way to the bathroom.

I'm still a little dazed by his kiss as I start making French toast and bacon. "Not even married yet and look how domestic you're being Liya." I flip Steve off over my shoulder as I continue to cook.

I pile three plates high with food and sit down beside Steve just as Bucky comes walking out freshly showered.

"So when can we come home Stevie?" Bucky gives me a strange look as I dip my bacon in syrup then proceeds to do the same thing. I laugh at the satisfied look on his face.

"Wanda thinks we're dealing with an enhanced similar to her…that they made us see something that wasn't really there. If it's true I'm a little worried for all of us." So that attack could have just been some crazy illusion? There are times I miss being oblivious to how crazy the world has gotten.

"That's definitely troubling. Is all of us being separated really a good idea then? I mean I'd hate to think what could happen if only one or two us was caught off guard by someone who has the ability to make us see whatever they want." The possibilities were really endless there.

"I was thinking the same thing. They got half of the Avengers to come outside of the compound because we thought we were being attacked. We very easily could have fallen into a trap." How will we know what's really happening? Bucky breaks his silence.

"They were testin us, maybe they wanted to see how many of us they could draw out. Or maybe they wanted to see what kinda defenses the compound has. I don't like the idea of Hydra havin someone like that on their side." Neither do I. This certainly has put a damper on our exciting news.

"Way to kill my engagement buzz Stevie." Both men chuckle in surprise at my statement. I'm not going to let villains ruin anymore of my life. I'm taking the happy moments when I can.

"I don't care what kinda craziness is goin on doll, I'm still marrying ya." I smile brightly at my soulmate. Steve claps his best friend on the back again with a grin.

"Planning a wedding while also taking down leftover Hydra agents seems like a pretty standard day for us at this point." Steve is kind of right there. Nothing is ever normal anymore.


	18. Feeling Good

"Birds flying high  
You know how I feel  
Sun in the sky  
You know how I feel  
Reeds driftin' on by  
You know how I feel

It's a new dawn  
It's a new day  
It's a new life  
For me  
And I'm feeling good  
I'm feeling good" Feeling Good by Michael Buble

Chapter 18

I'm so happy to be back at the compound. Bucky and Steve carry all of our things back up to our place while I go find Natasha. Friday informs me that she's in the lab with Tony and Bruce.

I'd like to say I know more about science at this point after knowing people like Tony and Bruce for years but I really don't. I enjoy listening to them speak about it and watching them work though.

Tony grants me access to the lab when I arrive and Nat is immediately pulling me into a hug.

"Welcome home Dr. Feelgood. Place hasn't been the same without you here to keep our heads on straight." Tony seems a little caught off guard when I wrap my arms around him tightly.

"Missed you too kid." I smile warmly at Bruce which he returns.

"What the hell is that on your finger!?" Leave it to Natasha to not miss a thing. All three of my friends are looking at me with shock evident on their faces.

"Um…Surprise! I'm engaged." Tony's mouth opens and closes a few times comically. Natasha glares for a minute before her face lights up in a very unNatasha type way

"That slick bastard knew I wouldn't stay mad if he proposed to you." I roll my eyes and huff out a laugh.

"I'm sure that's exactly why he did it Nat." She grins and hugs me again.

"You really going to go through with this?" I can't tell from his tone how Tony is feeling about this development.

"I love him Ton, I really really love him. He's my soulmate. I don't there's anything in this whole world I want more than to marry him." He removes his tinted glasses and wipes a hand over his face before pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out a sigh.

Tony takes a step towards me and puts his hands on my shoulders, he squeezes gently and then leans in to press a kiss to my forehead.

"I'm thrilled for you Annie. You deserve to be happy even if it's with a formerly psychotic old man with a terminator arm." I'm warmed by the acceptance he's showing even though he's being a smart ass, that's just him.

"Thanks Ton." Bruce congratulates me as well and gives me an awkward kind of side hug.

Natasha and Tony come with me when I make the way back to mine and Bucky's part of the tower. The two super soldiers look surprised to see me flanked by iron man and the black widow.

"You're officially off my shit list Barnes. Proposing was a smart move." Bucky's lips quirk up at Natasha's declaration.. I can tell he's trying to look anywhere but at Tony.

I'm more than a little shocked when said man takes a step forward so he's directly in front of my fiancé. Bucky stands a little straighter at Tony's move and makes sure to meet his eyes now. I guess he's trying to show he won't shy away from whatever is about to be said. For the second time today Stark removes his glasses. He stares blankly at Bucky for a few moments, making the tension in the room become palpable. I'm waiting for Steve to jump between the two men. Finally Tony huffs out a breath.

"I know you don't need it Barnes… but you have my blessing." Bucky's eyes widen in shock a long with the rest of us. He doesn't seem to know how to respond but Tony starts speaking again. "You also have my forgiveness. So stop torturing yourself and live your life, make my Annie happy." I can't muffle the sound of my sob. Bucky honestly isn't far behind, tears swim in his eyes. Steve is beaming and even Natasha is smiling warmly.

"Th…thank you Tony. That means a lot to me." He has to clear his throat once but Bucky says it clearly and with conviction. Tony slides his glasses back on and claps his hands together putting an end to the emotional moment.

"Clearly this calls for a celebration, we need to have a party." Yep there's the Tony Stark I know.

"Really think that's a good idea given all that's going on Tony?" Steve has a point. Tony scoffs and rolls his eyes.

"Yep! Give us and excuse to get the whole gang together and that'll make this the safest place in the world given another incident occurs. Our insane lives are constantly being disrupted by potentially world ending events, we have to celebrate the good stuff. Annie's always helping us get our bullshit in order, time to repay her kindness. Besides we all know I love any excuse to make you all uncomfortable and dress up." I laugh happily and throw my arms around Tony again.

"I'm proud of you for not being so self absorbed for once Stark. When are we having this party?" Nat hops up onto one of the desks.

"Next weekend? We'll get the whole Avengers extended famdamily out here. I'll even invite T'challa and that sister of his that got your shit straight Barnes." I have to say I'm pretty damn excited about this.

"Sounds good to me Ton." And it does sound good, too good. How did life get so good? Granted there's tons of bullshit still going on but the good outweighs the bad nowadays.

* * *

The week passes busily but surprisingly quietly. I get back to doing my actual job and Bucky spends his days in the lab with Bruce learning and observing. Tony and Steve continue to search tirelessly for our enemies and Natasha slinks in and out like usual. Life seems almost normal

Friday afternoon brings a flurry of guests. Thor, Loki, and Valkyrie are all down in Bruce's lab. T'challa, Shuri,, and Okoye all arrive on a jet together. Bucky greets them all with a huge smile on his face. They seem to be very fond of him.

"This is the woman who has captured the white wolfs heart?" Shuri looks me up and down with a playful grin on her face.

"Pretty sure it was him who captured mine. I never stood a chance once he turned on that charm of his. Doesn't hurt that you designed him such a pretty arm." She laughs and nudges Bucky in the ribs with her elbow.

"I like her. You better not let her get away." He presses a kiss to my temple.

"She's stuck with me and she knows it." That I do.

The Barton clan are the next to arrive and I almost get knocked off my feet by the embraces from the kiddos. Laura kisses me on the cheek and pulls an unsuspecting Bucky into a hug. Clint squeezes my tightly and shakes my fiancé's hand with a smile on his face.

We all have an informal dinner of pizza and sit around the giant table in the communal living area. For the first time in a long time this seems like a family again. All of us together with no hostility or awkwardness.

"Do we really have to have some fancy party tomorrow Ton? Look we're all together right now, isn't that good enough?" Tony looks unimpressed and tosses a breadstick at my head, lucky for me Bucky has fast reflexes and catches it.

"I like a party Angelov, we all deserve a party. I've got a couple reporters coming by too, I want the world to know the Avengers are back in business and in one whole happy piece." Bucky visibly tenses beside me and I shoot a glare at Stark.

"You're using our engagement party for some positive press?" Steve doesn't look very impressed either.

"This party is all about you two lovebirds, don't worry. They won't be here the whole time I promise. This gives us a good opportunity to show everyone that Barnes is a normal guy besides being part cyborg and broodier than the average Joe. Trust me we gotta eradicate that whole Winter Soldier persona and show everyone he's one of us." I get what he's saying. Bucky shrugs his consent. Maybe this will help us, I just hate the thought of Bucky getting scrutinized in any way.

Clint clears his throat beside me to get my afternoon. "Laura and I were talking and we think you two should get married at the farm." Laura smiles warmly beside Clint. I can feel myself getting teary at the thought. The Barton homestead has been more of a home to me than most anywhere in my life. "I could build an arch and really pretty the place up for you. I'll do the ceremony obviously, I mean who else would you want to be your officiant?" Not gonna lie, a few tears definitely escape my eyes. I drop my head on Clint's shoulder and wrap my arms around one of his.

"I love you Clinton! Thank you so much." He presses a kiss to the top of my head and I sit back up straight in my chair. Bucky squeezes my hand and smiles happily.

"Is it ok with you if we get married there?" Bucky nods his head.

"Whatever ya want doll. I want everything to be perfect for ya." He's so damn sweet to me.

"I'll be your maid of honor naturally." Natasha sounds so sure of herself as she grins playfully.

"Well duh Nat. I'm assuming Stevie will be the best man." Steve smiles sheepishly when Bucky mockingly says duh.

"You're making this sound much more quaint than the wedding Pepper and I are going to have . As a matter of fact I'd go so far as to say I'm an expert at wedding planning at this point and you're completely stealing my thunder by not allowing me any input." Pepper smacks Tony in the chest and rolls her eyes.

"I actually have a very important roll for you Tony." He arches his eyebrow for me to continue."I'd like you to walk me down the aisle." I can tell he wasn't expecting it when his eyes widen considerably. Pepper is positively beaming. I think this is the closest I've ever seen Tony come to choked up. He clears his throat and scratches the back of his head.

"You sure you want me to give you away Annie? I haven't exactly been the most supportive of your relationship and I know that's hurt you." Tony Stark sounds unsure of himself! My mind is blown.

"Ton, you gave Bucky your blessing and that means so much to me. We haven't always agreed on things and God knows you're more than a handful but you're the closest thing I've got to a brother figure in my life besides Clint. I love your eccentric ass Stark. It would mean the world to me if you'd walk me down the aisle." He chuckles in a way that makes it seem like he's covering up a cry.

"Yea, of course. Anything for you Annie." It's a strange thing hearing Tony be so sincere.

"So when is this wedding happening anyway?" I look at Bucky when Natasha asks this. He shrugs his shoulders

"The sooner the better. I'd marry ya right now if you would let me doll." I grin and press a kiss to his stubbled cheek.

"You two are so cute it's kinda disgusting." I roll my eyes at Sams comment.

"I'll get you a dress appointment next week. Then we'll go from there as far as dates go. If you find something on the rack you could get married as soon as you'd like." Pepper Potts is a national treasure.

"Thank you Pep!" I'm actually excited about more than just getting to marry my soul mate now, maybe this quick wedding planning won't be so bad.

* * *

After dinner everyone splits off to do their own things. We end up back in the labs with Tony, Bruce, Shuri, T'challa, and Peter Parker. They're all discussing the many properties and uses of vibranium while I cuddle up against Bucky's side.

Peter sits down across from us and keeps shooting us nervous glances. I smile warmly at him which he returns with though he looks a little flustered.

"Hey Pete, whats up?" Bucky tears his attention away from his conversation and looks at the teenager too.

"Uh…hi Ms. Angelov. I just wanted to say congrats on your guys's engagement." He sounds like a nervous wreck.

"Thanks, that's sweet! There something else on your mind?" He shifts nervously in his seat before making eye contact with Bucky.

"Um yea actually….I wanted to apologize Mr. Barnes, for attacking you back in Germany. I've learned a lot about you in school and I just want you to know that I really respect you and think you're awesome." Oh my God he's so adorable! I want to adopt him.

Bucky just blinks and stares blankly at the teen in what I'm guessing is confusion. I elbow my fiancé to get him talking. He really still kind of sucks at communicating sometimes.

"Thanks, I really don't remember fightin ya but ya don't have to be sorry. We all had our reasons." Peter honestly looks surprised that Bucky spoke to him at all and visibly relaxes.

"Peter is Spider-Man Buck." Bucky's eyes widen comically and I can't help but laugh.

"That was you!? Holy shit, I wanted to beat the hell outta ya. You're just a kid!" I just laugh harder and Peter turns a little red.

"It's a long story Mr Barnes, but yea that was me." Bucky shakes his head but smiles in that crooked way of his.

"It's just Bucky, none of that Mr. Barnes crap. You kinda kick ass kid, good for you." Peter is beaming now but still red.

"Bucky just has resting bitch face all the time Pete, really he's a big ol marshmallow. Don't ever be too intimidated to talk to him." Bucky glares down at me and pinches my side but smiles nonetheless.

Today has been a much needed day of happiness and normalcy that's for sure.


	19. Hold me in your arms

"Settle down with me

And I'll be your safety  
You'll be my lady

I was made to keep your body warm  
But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms

Oh no  
My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed in my neck  
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet  
And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love" Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran

Chapter 19

"I feel like an idiot. I'm never gonna get used to how damn tight everything fits these days." Bucky is adjusting the collar of his button up for the tenth time in the past couple of minutes. I sear his hands away and press a kiss to his jaw.

"You look so good it should be illegal James. Now I'm going to go get my dress on and I expect your shirt to still be intact." Bucky is wearing a completely black suit with a black shirt and black tie and my god does he look delicious. His hair is pulled back in a knot at the base of his neck and he's freshly shaved.

My dress is red satin, low cut and tight around the middle but flared out the slightest bit at the bottom and with a slit high enough to be dangerous. I don't think I've ever felt so sexy. My lipstick matches my dress and my eyes are dark and smokey. My hair falls in waves and I style it over one shoulder. I slip my black heels on and head back out to join Bucky.

"What do you think Sarge?" Bucky turns around and takes my appearance in slowly, his eyes linger on the high slit and low cut top. When his stormy eyes meet mine they're almost smoldering.

"God damn babydoll, you're absolutely gorgeous." My cheeks heat up at the reverence in his voice. He closes the space between us in a few short strides and grips my hips tenderly. "You're a dream sweetheart. I'm the luckiest man alive." I pull him down to kiss me even though I should probably be more concerned with my makeup.

"And I'm the luckiest woman. I love you babe. Let's go to our party." He straightens his tie once more and offers me his arm.

* * *

The party is already in full swing once we arrive. Everyone is dressed to the nines and there's definitely a few people I don't recognize which is a little strange considering it's our party.

There's a large dance floor and DJ booth next to a bar area. The room is decorated with twinkling lights that look surprisingly tasteful.

Natasha is wearing a deep blue gown that hugs all her curves and suspiciously matches the color of Steve's tie. They're laughing together at the bar with Sam. The Falcon lets out a low whistle as we approach.

"Daaaaamn girl, look at you!" I giggle at Sams dramatized statement and hug him. "You're looking pretty sharp too Bucky, you guys make one fine looking couple." Bucky is actually smiling at Sam and claps him on the shoulder.

"Thanks Sam." Pretty much everyone looks shocked by his reaction which just has my soldier looking adorably confused.

"So who are all these people I don't know?" Natasha hands me a drink before answering.

"Some reporters, some of Starks donors, and a couple government officials that now want to make nice." Steve pours some of Thor's alcohol into a glass for himself and Bucky.

"I'm a pretty big fan of watching people grovel. They're here to say sorry to you babe, isn't that nice?" Bucky rolls his eyes at me but grins nonetheless.

The sudden booming voice of Tony over the speakers in the room has us all turning to face him. He stands on the elevated bit of floor near the doors that lead to the balcony.

"Can I get our guests of honor front and center please?" Bucky visibly tenses but I squeeze his hand reassuringly and we walk to Tony. All the guests part to make way for the two of us. "Ah, here they are!" Tony claps us both on the shoulder before he continues to speak.

"I owe a lot to this woman right here. Aneliya has not only been my therapist for years now but one of my closest friends. She has continuously been able to get me to pull my head out of my own ass which is really saying something. She's gotten me through more anxiety attacks than I care to even admit. Annie spent years as a SHIELD agent and rather than distancing herself from that mess she's made it her life's work to help not only The Avengers but anyone in need." Way to make me teary eyed in front of everyone Stark.

"When Annie came to me asking for James Barnes to be allowed to stay at the Avengers facility after an intensive therapeutical stay in Wakanda I was beyond reluctant. Barnes and I have a history and I'm rather good at holding a grudge. But she was able to talk me into letting him stay when she said that he deserved a chance and that she could continue to help him. I allowed him to come but I sure as hell didn't want to give him a chance. I very quickly realized after he got here that he and Aneliya were completely smitten with each other. I realized that anyone that Annie loved had to be a good person. I got to know Bucky Barnes, he is not the Winter Soldier. This man was tortured and brain washed for seventy years and he has miraculously been able to come out the other side not only intact but a better and stronger person than ever. He's one of the kindest men I've had the pleasure of knowing, and he loves this woman with every fiber of his being. I'm happy to say that James Barnes is my friend and I hope he will one day be my colleague." Yep I'm full out crying now. Bucky is looking more than a little misty eyed himself.

Tony holds out his champagne glass. "This night is for you Annie and Bucky! The future Mr. and Mrs. Barnes!" The whole room erupts in applause. Tony presses a kiss to my temple and gives Bucky a sideways hug.

We're rushed by a crowd of people. I meet more politicians and reporters than I think I ever have in my life. We collectively as a group decide to set up a meeting with a reporter the following week to get an inside look at the facility and the Avengers lives. A few are reluctant but as Tony said some good press isn't a bad idea right now. Everyone buys Bucky and I drinks and I'm definitely tipsy and pleased to see that he is too since Thor has been providing him with drinks.

I'm having a blast dancing with Wanda, Pepper, Natasha, and Shuri. When the music suddenly changes to a slower tune with an acoustic guitar I find myself being wrapped up in the arms of my fiancé.

"Dance with me doll." Bucky is honestly the best dance partner I've ever had. He leads me effortlessly around the floor in a much more complicated way than the other couples who sway back and forth together.

"You're pretty smooth for an old guy Barnes." He grins down at me before twirling me away from him and pulling me back against his chest. He looks so handsome and carefree right now, his cheeks are flushed and a few wisps of hair have come loose from his bun.

"I got moves for days sweetheart." I giggle against his chest.

As the song comes to an end he dips me back in a very cliché and romantic way before kissing me soundly. Our friends clap around us making Bucky smile against my lips.

* * *

A group of us are sitting on the balcony getting some fresh air when Tony comes out flanked by a man I hoped to never meet and a security detail. Steve jumps to his feet and stands in front of Bucky and I.

"What are you doing here Secretary Ross?" Bucky and I stand beside Steve.

"I'm not here to cause any problems Captain Rogers." Steve scoffs.

"Then why are you here?" Thaddeus eyes me up and down at my question before turning to Bucky.

"I'm here on behalf of the United States government to not only apologize to you Sergeant Barnes but to offer you financial compensation for all of your years of service in the military and as a POW." I don't mean to let the humorless laugh escape me but the alcohol in my system definitely isn't helping.

"You tried to have him killed on more than one occasion, arrested him, and made him go into hiding for years and you're suddenly sorry!?" The secretary doesn't even flinch at my loud voice.

"We all make mistakes Ms. Angelov." There's a collective sound of disbelief from all of our friends. This man had some nerve.

"It's hard for me to believe you're doin this outta the kindness of your heart so whatever the hell it is that you want me to do I refuse. I will gladly take the money you're offerin because I'm tryin to build a life here with my fiancé but I will not be dragged into another war for you people." I'm proud of James for standing up for himself and Tony and Steve look pretty pleased too.

"You heard the man Ross. I'll give you the mans banking information and you can kindly get the fuck out of my facility. I don't appreciate gate crashers." Tony has Happy usher the men out. I have a feeling that this won't be the last we hear from Thaddeus Ross.

* * *

I get dragged back onto the dance floor by Wanda as the party starts to dwindle down. It's pretty much only our friends that are left. Bucky has been mingling with Steve and Tony, meeting various important people and being congratulated. To say I'm surprised by Thor and Loki joining us on the dance floor would be an understatement. Jane and Thor are in their own little bubble of goofiness dancing around together. Darcy Lewis is dancing with Loki in a way I can't even believe. I kind of adore her, she's wild and bold and all the things I wish I could be.

I spot Bucky out of the corner of my eye and the look he's sending my way is heated. I beckon him over with a finger.

"This what they call dancin these days doll?" Something about the look on his face tells me he doesn't exactly disapprove though.

"Yes sir, get behind me and grab my hips Sarge." His jaw clenches and eyes gleam before he stands behind me and pulls me flush against him. Both metal and flesh hands clench my hips tightly. "Now just do what everyone else is doing. You're already a good dancer so this should be easy for you." He guides us both with a slow roll of his hips. His lips are pressed to my neck. I shudder when he speaks lowly into my ear, his hot breath fanning across my neck.

"So just grind obscenely against ya in front of everyone when I could just be doin it in the privacy of our bed?" I laugh at his comment and turn in his arms to face him. He captures my lips a little desperately against his own. He continues to dance with me as his tongue tangles with mine. He's obviously hard.

"Something tells me you don't mind dancing like this James." I snake my hand between us and grasp the hard length of him. He hisses in pleasure.

"Ok, parties over sweetheart. We gotta get outta here before I fuck you in front of everyone here." I'm tipsy enough that it doesn't sound like a half bad idea but I have enough sense to follow behind Bucky as he drags me along.

"Where the hell you two think you're going?" Tony shouts after us.

Bucky doesn't even stop as he yells back at him. "Thanks for the party Tony but I gotta get this one to bed!"

"You're despicable Barnes, trying time defile our innocent Liya! Can't even wait for the wedding night." Bucky doesn't even dignify Sam's remark with a verbal reply he just shoots him the finger.

All our friends laugh as I enthusiastically wave goodbye and get pulled into the elevator by my fiancé. The doors barely close before Bucky is all over me. I really really love this man.


End file.
